Guy Heartbroken By Ex-Girlfriend Who Cheated With His Best Friend Writes Epic Letter To New Couple

Guy Heartbroken By Ex-Girlfriend Who Cheated With His Best Friend Writes Epic Letter To New Couple
Humor
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

One of the most f*cked up things a person can do is leave a partner for his or her best friend.

Unfortunately, this is something we see far too often. Finding himself in this bleak situation, one man decided to seek his own kind of revenge while also making a profit. His girlfriend Jessica apparently left him for his best friend, Todd, and he was pretty pissed off about it (rightfully so).

He took to Teespring.com to create a “F*ck You Todd & Jessica” t-shirt, which you can actually purchase. The description of the product is absolutely incredible and it’ll only cost you $13!

front

Check it out:


“F*CK YOU JESSICA! YOU GIRAFFE FACED BITCH. I WAS NOTHING BUT GOOD TO YOU. I WAS THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED ME. AND HOW DO YOU REPAY ME? BY DUMPING ME FOR MY BEST FRIEND.

YOU NOW MEAN NOTHING TO ME YOU SYPHILITIC C*NT DONKEY. NEVER TRAVEL TO AFRICA BECAUSE POACHERS MIGHT MISTAKE YOU FOR A RHINO YOU FAT POT BELLIED HERMAPHRODITE. PEOPLE USED TO THINK I WAS A BIG FOOT HUNTER WHEN THEY SAW ME WITH YOU.

I HOPE YOU AND YOUR MURKY SWAMP VAGINA END UP ALONE. IT’S CALLED VAGISIL YOU CHERUBIC CONCUBINE TWAT LORD.

AS FOR YOU TODD, YOU ARE A BITCH OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. YOU SMELL LIKE A MUSTY 6TH GRADER AFTER GYM CLASS WHO TRIED TO USE AXE TO COVER UP THE SMELL.

YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE AGED COW TURDS. IF YOU WERE ON FIRE AND I HAD A BUCKET OF WATER, I WOULD LET MY DOG DRINK FROM THE BUCKET FIRST, AND THEN PUT YOU OUT WITH WHATEVER WAS LEFT.

YOUR TEETH ARE SO F*CKED UP THAT YOU COULD HAVE DUAL CITIZENSHIP IN ENGLAND. YOUR TEETH LOOK LIKE THEY ARE WRITING A NOVEL IN WINGDINGS.

I HOPE YOU TWO HAVE KIDS. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE FUGLY OFFSPRING THAT SWAMP PUSSY AND AXE GOD WOULD PRODUCE.

YOUR KIDS WILL PROBABLY HAVE THE LOW SLOPING FOREHEADS MOST COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH LOWLAND GORILLAS. YOU SHOULD JUST NAME YOUR FIRST BORN CRO MAGNON.

F*CK YOU TODD AND JESSICA. EAT SH*T.”


Jessica: I feel for you, I really do. But, I’m gonna have to agree with your ex on this one: eat sh*t.

H/T: Bro Bible, Photo Courtesy: Tee Spring

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Ashley Fern

Ashley comes to Elite Daily from the happiest valley in State College, Pennsylvania. She was born and raised between New York and South Florida, but spent the most fun years at Penn State. Her time spent there proved you can have the best time of your life by doing things you can't remember while simultaneously pursuing a political science degree. She divides her time between binge-watching “Entourage,” giving unwanted opinions and convincing herself that she will one day marry Dwyane Wade. For more unadulterated fun follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @Disco_Infern0.

More In Humor

Humor Connor Toole

Female Video Game Characters Deal With Street Harassment Too (Video)

Earlier this week, every site on the Internet posted a video of a woman walking through New York City that documented the assorted catcalls and various forms of harassment she endured. It’s a serious issue that certainly deserves attention, but that’s not going to stop people from making parodies like with every other viral video to […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

8 Halloween Costumes No One Else Will Have In 2014 (Photos)

Halloween is right around the corner — and if you’re one of those people who gets physically ill when you see someone wearing the same shirt as you, you’ll want to make sure you’re not wasting your time on an uncreative costume. There’s no shortage of lists available for people who want to find the most popular […]

Humor Connor Toole

50 Things That Should Scare New Yorkers Way More Than Ebola

Ebola officially hit New York City last week, and while I’ve done my best to avoid getting caught up in the hype, it’s hard to stay totally unfazed when surgical masks come back in fashion and the potential Patient Zero for the city lies in quarantine just a few blocks from where you work. Other […]

Also On Elite

World

Scientists Discover New Crystal That May Allow You To Breathe Under Water

Danish scientists created a crystal that can both absorb and release oxygen, possibly allowing humans to breathe underwater. According to VICE News, the crystal can hold approximately 160 times more oxygen than we breathe, and roughly 10 liters of it can absorb all the oxygen in a room. Under the right conditions, the crystal can […]

Humor

Dad Gets Caught Singing Adorable Bath Time Songs To His Baby (Video)

When interacting with cute things, taking on a weird, high-pitched baby voice is pretty much instinct, for whatever reason. It could be that babies react well to it, or maybe people think if they speak like a toddler, babies will understand them better. Either way, everyone’s done it. So the dad in this video shouldn’t […]

World

3 Things Millennials Can Take Away From Malala Yousafzai

Malala Yousafzai made history this morning by being named the youngest recipient ever of a Nobel Prize. The second youngest Nobel laureate is Lawrence Bragg, who won an award for physics with his father in 1915 when he was just 25 years old. So far, 47 Nobel prizes have gone to women, and Malala is […]

World

Man Chokes Out Woman Because She Didn’t Match Her Default Photo

Going out with a date you met online is something of a crapshoot. She could be statuesque like a young Kate Moss, or she could look just like your creepy next door neighbor. Georgia native Cornelius Jefferson has been charged with fourth-degree assault after attacking a blind date he’d met online. On Tuesday, the 33-year-old man […]

World

Sears Is Actually Selling A Ring With A Giant Swastika On It

Swastikas are never in style. As part of a punk rock collection, the Sears department store website briefly carried a men’s fashion ring emblazoned with a bold swastika. According to Jewish parenting blog Kveller, the item’s description read: This gothic jewelry item in particular features a Swastika ring thats made of .925 Thai silver. Not […]

World

If You’re Freaking Out About Ebola In America, This Tweet Should Help

New York Times columnist Nick Bilton thinks it’s time for America to get a reality check about Ebola. Last night, as major news channels picked up the story of the New York City doctor who tested positive for Ebola, Bilton turned on his television to see a CNN panel of experts discussing the situation. But […]