Marry Her With Mary Jane: How To Bag A Stoner Chick

Marry Her With Mary Jane: How To Bag A Stoner Chick
LOL Lists
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Finding a stoner girlfriend is like finding a unicorn. They comprise that rare breed of woman who will be as good of a friend as a life partner and their habits are not ones you will soon get tired of. Unlike women who don’t smoke, not only will they not be bothered by your smoking, they will want to join in. They are the women who have their own bud and don’t need your permission to light up.

We’ve already discussed the advantages and multitude of reasons as to why you should date a stoner chick, but we skipped over one minor detail: how to get the stoner chick. They make up the coolest breed of girl out there and they will be taken before you know it. While they aren’t the hardest girls to get, they definitely require some effort.

It’s a no-brainer that the quickest way into a stoner girl’s heart is through the herb, but there are some other tactics you can take, and should take, besides just smoking her up. One of the many advantages of trying to date a stoner chick is that you always have an angle for inviting her over and starting a conversation. So if you’re lusting after one of those ride-or-die chicks who will smoke you up, follow these tips for bagging the illustrious stoner chick.

Find Out How Much She Smokes

tumblr_mbtghfq2L71qic1zfo1_500

It’s hard to tell how strong you should come on if you don’t know how serious of a smoker she is. If she’s a true stoner chick and smokes whenever available, you will have ample opportunity to make your move and get to know her by inviting her on a blunt ride.


Offer Her A Light

tumblr_mkc0i05BUA1s3oe2qo1_500

There’s no better excuse to get close to a girl than to offer her a lighter. Whether she’s in need or not, jump in there and offer your services. It’s a foolproof way to get to talk to her.


Roll One Up For Her

tumblr_lvsmo09tm61qjg16ao1_500

A true stoner girl should know how to roll her own papers, but it’s always nice to have it done for you. Rolling her joint is like opening her car door or bringing her flowers: it’s a gesture.


Keep It Coming

tumblr_mddcnpH4de1qjczh3o1_500

If you wanna keep her around, keep the weed coming. Text her when you have bud, invite her over to smoke. Repetition makes the heart grow fonder, as seeing someone a lot keeps the impression strong and growing in the mind. Use this to your advantage and make sure she thinks of you every time she smokes.


Ask Her If She Wants To See Your Bong

tumblr_m47w8zTGMN1r9g0j4

A sure-fire way to get a woman to your house is to show off your sick glasswear.


Find Her Better Prices

help-me-im-poor-bridesmaids-gif

There’s nothing a woman likes more than a man who can get her a good deal. Be her knight in shining armor, hook her up with the deals only you can get and she won’t be able to resist you.


Get Her Food

jlaw-food

There’s no better way to a woman’s heart than through food. Whether you’re cooking for her, driving her through McDonald’s drive-thru or just buying her a snack, it will not go unnoticed.


Always Offer A Blunt Before A Date

tumblr_lsbobdPkJN1qgocy3o1_400

If you’re going to take her out to dinner, you may as well supply the appetizer as well, right? There’s no better dinner date than one between two people who just chiefed a joint and can’t wait to grub. Plus, you won’t have to worry about awkward dinner small talk; the conversation will not be in short supply.


Compliment Her On Her Rolling Skills

tumblr_static_you_re_awesome

Women love compliments, so compliment a stoner chick on something she actually cares about: her rolling skills. If she can roll a sick joint, tell her.

Top Photo Courtesy of Tumblr

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Lauren Martin

Lauren “LMoney” Martin grew up with one goal: to be the first woman engineer. Upon finding out there already were women engineers, and unable to pass Calc 1, she chose to study the beautiful and honorable art of advertising. After advertising proved uninspiring, she attempted a career in acting which was over before she could get on stage. And when she failed at everything else she decided to become a writer.

More In LOL Lists

LOL Lists Lauren Martin

What The Instrument You Quit In Middle School Says About You

There are few memories we can look back on from our middle school and high school years that bring us joy. Most of them are full of shame, regret and self-loathing. And a few are just f*cking embarrassing. While we all have our own collection of horrible, humiliating and sickening moments, there are a few, […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

20 Kids Whose Parents Had Way Too Much Fun Dressing Them Up For Halloween

Over the past few years, there’s been a noticeable trend around Halloween where parents post pictures of their children dressed up in costumes they couldn’t possibly appreciate and that they definitely didn’t ask for. When I say “children” in this situation, I’m referring to kids who are capable of having and sharing conscious thought. If […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

17 Jack-O-Lanterns That Tried So Hard But Failed (Photos)

It’s October, which means that whatever screen you view things on is about to be filled with picture after picture of pumpkins carved by people who spent way too much time mastering a skill that’s only useful for a couple of weeks every year. In the past, you could carve a few triangles and a […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

14 Snapchats From Your Favorite Horror Movie Villains (Photos)

There are two weeks left until Halloween, and if you haven’t already gotten sick of all the holiday-related list, articles and videos, just give it a little bit of time — you’ll be begging for Christmas carols and corny commercials before you can say “commercialization.” I’m a big fan of horror movies, and considering a […]

Also On Elite

Life

12 Ways Your Relationship With Your Parents Changes As You Grow Up

When we were younger, it was generally understood that parents were our mortal enemies, put on this earth to obliterate every instance of fun, every ounce of mischief, every shred of bad behavior. They were the rule-makers and the punishment-givers; they were the ones who took away our weekly allowances, grounded us from going to […]

Humor

PSA Points Out Monday Doesn’t Make Your Week Suck, You Do (Video)

As someone who complains about Mondays every Monday, I’m pretty sure this video was made for me. It’s a PSA from producer William Crouse basically telling all us Monday naysayers to shut the f*ck up because if Mondays suck, it’s probably our own damn faults. The girl in the video suggests if we hate Mondays, maybe […]

World

Girl Shames Dick’s Sporting Goods With Powerful Letter About All-Male Catalog

Twelve-year-old McKenna Peterson is proud to call herself a female athlete. But when McKenna, daughter of AZCentral sportswriter Chris Peterson, received the latest copy of Dick’s Sporting Goods’ catalog, she noticed that only men were featured in its pages. With the exception of one woman sitting in the stands, female athletes were entirely excluded from […]