Marry Her With Mary Jane: How To Bag A Stoner Chick

Marry Her With Mary Jane: How To Bag A Stoner Chick
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Finding a stoner girlfriend is like finding a unicorn. They comprise that rare breed of woman who will be as good of a friend as a life partner and their habits are not ones you will soon get tired of. Unlike women who don’t smoke, not only will they not be bothered by your smoking, they will want to join in. They are the women who have their own bud and don’t need your permission to light up.

We’ve already discussed the advantages and multitude of reasons as to why you should date a stoner chick, but we skipped over one minor detail: how to get the stoner chick. They make up the coolest breed of girl out there and they will be taken before you know it. While they aren’t the hardest girls to get, they definitely require some effort.

It’s a no-brainer that the quickest way into a stoner girl’s heart is through the herb, but there are some other tactics you can take, and should take, besides just smoking her up. One of the many advantages of trying to date a stoner chick is that you always have an angle for inviting her over and starting a conversation. So if you’re lusting after one of those ride-or-die chicks who will smoke you up, follow these tips for bagging the illustrious stoner chick.

Find Out How Much She Smokes

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It’s hard to tell how strong you should come on if you don’t know how serious of a smoker she is. If she’s a true stoner chick and smokes whenever available, you will have ample opportunity to make your move and get to know her by inviting her on a blunt ride.


Offer Her A Light

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There’s no better excuse to get close to a girl than to offer her a lighter. Whether she’s in need or not, jump in there and offer your services. It’s a foolproof way to get to talk to her.


Roll One Up For Her

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A true stoner girl should know how to roll her own papers, but it’s always nice to have it done for you. Rolling her joint is like opening her car door or bringing her flowers: it’s a gesture.


Keep It Coming

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If you wanna keep her around, keep the weed coming. Text her when you have bud, invite her over to smoke. Repetition makes the heart grow fonder, as seeing someone a lot keeps the impression strong and growing in the mind. Use this to your advantage and make sure she thinks of you every time she smokes.


Ask Her If She Wants To See Your Bong

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A sure-fire way to get a woman to your house is to show off your sick glasswear.


Find Her Better Prices

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There’s nothing a woman likes more than a man who can get her a good deal. Be her knight in shining armor, hook her up with the deals only you can get and she won’t be able to resist you.


Get Her Food

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There’s no better way to a woman’s heart than through food. Whether you’re cooking for her, driving her through McDonald’s drive-thru or just buying her a snack, it will not go unnoticed.


Always Offer A Blunt Before A Date

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If you’re going to take her out to dinner, you may as well supply the appetizer as well, right? There’s no better dinner date than one between two people who just chiefed a joint and can’t wait to grub. Plus, you won’t have to worry about awkward dinner small talk; the conversation will not be in short supply.


Compliment Her On Her Rolling Skills

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Women love compliments, so compliment a stoner chick on something she actually cares about: her rolling skills. If she can roll a sick joint, tell her.

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Lauren Martin

Lauren “LMoney” Martin grew up with one goal: to be the first woman engineer. Upon finding out there already were women engineers, and unable to pass Calc 1, she chose to study the beautiful and honorable art of advertising. After advertising proved uninspiring, she attempted a career in acting which was over before she could get on stage. And when she failed at everything else she decided to become a comedy writer.

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