This NSFW Dorm Room Love Letter Is The Most WTF Thing You’ll Ever See (Picture)

This NSFW Dorm Room Love Letter Is The Most WTF Thing You’ll Ever See (Picture)
Humor
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The very first thing I want to do is distance myself from this entirely. I do not endorse this method of courting, nor do I agree with the overall message of the suitor.

It’s not often that I’m genuinely taken aback after seeing something online, but there was something about this picture (namely everything) that made me question what I was doing with my life.

There isn’t much of a back story as far as I can tell. The original thread linking to this picture of the worst love letter ever written described it only as a “wonderful gift” and, in all fairness, it is just about as wonderful as a fridge adorned with the poetry of a sociopath and filled with raw meat and used condoms can be.

So I post this with the hope that people will somehow find humor in it because that’s the only way to cope after seeing something this terrifying.

I’ve been telling myself it’s funny because it’s so incredibly bizarre and over the top. Maybe you’ll laugh at the notion that anyone this twisted actually exists and that this is, in fact, a screenshot from a poorly conceived film school project.

Do whatever you need to make sense of things. You’ve been warned. The full text is below if you really want to read it.

stalker-fridge-note-elite-daily

Here is the full text transcribed:

Sometimes when I’m alone,

I just stop and think

About your slutty pussy

And its perfect shade of pink

In my dream I tie you down

And thrust until it hurts

And then I look straight into your eyes

And make you f*cking squirt

So girl let’s skip the prom

And make my dream come true

I don’t care if you say no

Because I’m stronger than you

I’ll f*ck you hard all night long

Until the light of day

I’ll smash my knob into your ass

And turn your pussy to purée

If you want to scream for help

Trust me, I’ll take note

But you can’t say sh*t

With my dick inside your throat

So I’ll rub until your clit chafes

It’ll be all raw and red

But good luck getting away

When you’re tied to the bed

I’ll see how many fingers

I can fit inside your c*nt

Not 1, not 2, not 3 or 4

But 5 I’ll take and punt

Just writing this makes me hard

I think I’ll have a wank

And when I cum, I’ll store my jizz

Inside this fridge sperm bank

Kate, I’m really not a creep

Don’t think I’m the pits

You mean so very much to me

Just let me cum on your tits?


Photos Courtesy: Imgur

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Connor Toole

Connor Toole is the Senior Humor Writer for Elite Daily, begrudgingly living in New York City and burdened with the daunting task of entertaining the discerning masses online (where he assumes everything is fake by default). He grew up in Connecticut (not the rich part) and graduated from Boston College, where he spent most of his time writing things on the Internet while majoring in a topic he didn't realize he hated until he earned the necessary credits. Standing at 6' 10", he is required by Giant Law to utter "Fee-fi-fo-fum" whenever someone asks him to. His interests include Mark Ruffalo. Feel free to contact him at ctoole@elitedaily.com as long as you aren't annoying.

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