Uniforms obviously impede the amount of self-expression a player can have while on the court – a team’s matching outfits leave little room for individuality outside of their moniker on the back of their jersey. So players bursting to express themselves have to turn elsewhere to show their creative side.
There is a fine yet definite line between style and stupidity. So in the NBA we find plenty of swag amongst players on the court but we see even more stupidity off the court.
Some players choose to separate themselves with bold haircuts. Dennis Rodman holds the crown for crazy cuts, although Meta Worldpeace definitely gives him a run for his money. When Meta was still Ron Artest, he decided to show his cultural side by buzzing the Chinese characters for “Champion” into his head. Then he decided to switch it up and sport the Hebrew characters for “Defense” for a while. Maybe next he will go with some words in his native tongue of English. He should choose something more suitable. “Dick,” perhaps?
Other players boast outrageous tattoos that nothing short of an impulse buy, or alcohol influenced. Chris “Birdman” Anderson probably takes the cake with his hideous “Free Bird” neck tattoo that covers all spectrums of the rainbow. Birdman was not a good-looking guy to begin with, but that tattoo surely sealed his fate as a chronic masturbator.
Rajon Rondo tried to separate himself by wearing his sweatband upside down for a little while before realizing that he was not making any statement other than solidifying the fact that his APG was higher than his IQ.
Lebron James wears the doublewide headband, and tries to play it off as swag, but we all know it is actually to hide his George Costanza hairline.
A new trend has emerged in the NBA recently that trumps all other feeble attempts at personal style: we are talking about the emergence of power-glasses. Wearing power-glasses in the post-game press conference is perhaps the most insanely over-the-top crack at swag in recent sports history. Even more bizarre is the snowball effect of this trend’s popularity. More and more players appear before the press with thick-framed glasses each week.
Who exactly started this trend? Recently, when prompted by the media, Russell Westbrook subtly took credit for introducing the style to the NBA.
“I’ve been wearing glasses since I’ve been in the league,” Westbrook said. “I think everybody else just started wearing them now.”
Lebron James, Dwyane Wade and Kevin Durant have all been seen wearing them this post-season. Both James and Wade decline getting their inspiration from Westbrook, and Durant has not commented on the subject. Is it a coincidence that these four fashionista superstars all rock the same power-glasses and happen to be in the finals?
Perhaps there is something about those glasses that they are not telling us. Maybe Melo should invest in a pair for next season for the sake of the Knicks postseason. Stoudemire and Lin already got the memo – what are you waiting for Melo?
The point is not so much who started it, but how on this sweet planet Earth did this catch on? The NBA looks like it is full of Clark Kent wannabes. Though the particular style of glasses varies – barely – between players, the message is always the same: “I think I am way fresher than I am.” Granted, there may be some players that really do need some visual aid, but horn-rimmed glasses for men?
We were not aware that half of the NBA moved to Williamsburg. Maybe David Stern should mandate worn-out T-shirts and jorts so these players could complete the look.
If James Harden – the NBA’s ultimate hipster – is not rocking these glasses, the rest of the lot should take a hint. It is overkill.
Even though we feel the look comes off forced, some players pull it off. It is hard sometimes to tell if a player actually wears glasses or is just doing it for the look. There is one dead giveaway: when there is no lens in the frame, there is no way they are legitimate. Who are they kidding?
Westbrook and James are both notorious for this. This completely takes away from the point of power-glasses. The keyword here? Glasses. Without the actual glass they are not glasses, they are just frames. So it is safe to say that even more bizarre than the power-glasses trend is the power-frames trend.
If you ask us, somebody needs to shove Westbrook in his locker and take his lunch money. Bosh should give Lebron an atomic wedgie and tell him to cut the shit. These two should go back to H&M, request a full refund and get both their money and their dignity back. Hipsters are definitely making their presence felt recently, but we never thought we would see them in professional sports. The NBA has been infiltrated. We wonder if Westbrook requests gluten-free Gatorade as well.
It is hard to hate on these guys, but the exception is Lebron James – he makes it too easy to hate. Durant, Wade and Westbrook are all humble guys with serious skills, no question about it. But our advice is to stick to basketball and stop picking up style tips from the Lower East Side. There is no place for that in the NBA.
Josh Steinberg | Elite Daily