5 Telltale Signs You’re A Full-Blown Birthdayzilla
I’m going for it: I’m coining the term “birthdayzilla.”
A “birthdayzilla” is a birthday monster. This happens when an already self-centered person is pushed over the egotistical edge by the thought of everyone celebrating his or her life and, thus, brings everyone into his or her fiery birthday hell.
Friendships will come crashing down, hostages will die inside and shots almost always result in tears.
It’s like your wedding; it’s not going to be perfect. Expecting it to be perfect is setting yourself up for disappointment.
A “zilla”-anything is someone who can’t handle when something goes wrong on his or her special day.
Below is a list of signs you are a birthdayzilla:
1. You kick someone out of your “Cowboy & Aliens”-themed birthday party for wearing a zip-up hoodie.
2. You make sure your friends surprise you with your birthday cake at exactly 9:33 pm — when you were technically born.
3. You start talking about next year’s birthday party at your current birthday party, as well as on every other day of the year.
4. You log everyone who said “happy birthday” on Facebook, and you put the rest on your hit list, including the people who only said “HBD.”
5. You are psychologically stuck in MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16” and don’t get why people don’t side with you when you throw your drink at your dad because he didn’t buy you a Corvette with a big, velvet bow.
If, after reading that list, you still aren’t sure, the surefire sign you’re a birthdayzilla is if you describe your birthday as “your special day.”
There are seven billion people on this Earth. Mathematically, you share your birthday with 1/365 of that seven billion, equating to over nine million people.
So, the next time you think your birthday is all about you, “GEN WHY” is here to remind you you’re not special, you’re just alive another year.
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