The Biggest Herbs From Your Favorite 90s Cartoons
Cartoons were to the 90s, what crack was to the 80s. Okay, that wasn’t a very good example, but you know what I mean. It was a golden era of television when shows had substance and there were actually characters we could relate to. Nowadays it’s a bunch of nonsense and bullsh*t, which is why the next generation is going to be so f*cked in the head. But hey, that’s their problem!
However, if you were lucky enough to be born into Generation-Y, then you were surely exposed to quality programming and rich history. You know all about how big of a gangster Tommy Pickles can be and how badass Arnold’s room was.
You should also know all about Stoop Kid, King Bob and Doug. These dudes are all Gen-Y icons and true 90s legends. Kids all across America wanted to be them, we could literally spend all day eating cereal, watching their antics and wishing we were them.
However not all of these characters were so cool. As a matter of fact, a few of them were some downright herbs. I’m talking about the dweebs that got clowned on by their very own cartoon counterparts. Referring to your friends by these names would be the ultimate insult as a kid, aside from the almighty “Yo Mama” joke — as surely, no one wanted to be them.
This is an unfortunate list that no one wants to recognize, but here at Elite Daily, we found it crucial to point out. These are the biggest herbs from your favorite 90s cartoons:
Squid from “Rocket Power”
Originally known as a “shoobie” when he arrived as the new kid in town, Squid is that herb we all love. It’s not his fault that he has absolutely no swag and lacks self-confidence. Luckily for him, the Rocket Power gang openly accepted him and turned him into a beast of a goalie for their street hockey team. Radical.
Chuckie from “Rugrats”
This kid is, in every sense of the word, “B*tchmade.” You would think when your best friend is Tommy Pickles, you would exhibit some kind of courage or poise. Not Chuckie Finster. This kid is scared of getting haircuts and his own shadow. Come on, son. He probably grew up to gain tons of weight, play World of Warcraft and eat peanut butter all day long.
Brainy from “Hey Arnold!”
I guess you really can’t hate on this kid too hard. After all, he was just trying to get it in with Helga. But after getting rocked in the face at least twice an episode, you would think he’d get a clue. Maybe getting punched in the nose was some kind of weird sexual fetish for him and every time it happened, he busted. Yup, that’s definitely what it was.
Gus from “Recess”
Being the son of an army veteran, Gus did not display any of the characteristics of our country’s most brave. If it weren’t for T.J. Detweiler, he really wouldn’t ever be sh*t. He is frail, weak and looks like a kid from the 50s. Sounds like every kid that got bullied in middle school to me.
Eugene from “Hey Arnold!”
Okay, okay. Eugene is gay. There, I said it. It took watching an episode of “Hey Arnold!” at 21 to make the revelation, but there is no denying this fact. That’s fine by us, but you can’t be acting sweet at PS 118. And with a haircut like that, he truly made himself a walking target. He’s lucky he didn’t get abused more during his time on TV.
Randall Weems from “Recess”
Randall Weems. You f*cking snitch. We all knew a kid exactly like this growing up. A parasite to the teacher, in this case it was Miss Finster. The oldest, meanest c*nt in all of cartoon history. Randall surely went on to get beaten up in high school for continuing his narc ways. Today he is the Dean at an all boys high school in New York City. His dream job.
Milhouse from “The Simpsons”
Milhouse is a friend we all had growing up. He isn’t the coolest kid, but he’s down to chill. And when your homie is Bart Simpson, chilling usually means getting arrested, starting a boy band or traveling to France. Blame his lame ass parents for raising a lame ass kid.
Butters from “South Park”
Butters definitely shows flashes of heroism from time to time, but leave it to his parents to put his ass back in check. He is the definition of a sheltered kid who will clearly wild out later in life. For now, he is just trying to stay out of trouble while being Cartman’s “sidekick.” That isn’t exactly the best way to stay out of trouble, Butters.
Dexter from “Dexter’s Laboratory”
Aside from his secret laboratory in his room, Dexter really isn’t sh*t. Sure he invents things all day long, but his breakthroughs always dashed by his hot sister Dee Dee. Damn dog, you mad? Your sister is bad! And you’re a nerd. God bless your soul.
Squidward Tentacles from “Spongebob Squarepants”
Squidward belongs in San Francisco. The jazz-playing, cashier-ringing squid is the epitome of a smug assh*le who thinks he’s too cultured for everyone. Even for Spongebob Squarepants. That’s impossible. This is the type of guy who will be lonely for his entire life and never fulfill any of the lofty goals he sets for himself. He also probably uses his clarinet as a sex device. Weirdo.
Daria from “Daria”
We all know a girl just like Daria. Boring, dull and in need of dick. All she really needs is to get railed out to be somewhat interesting. Until then, she will always be this random semi-goth chick who crosses her arms and wears Harry Potter glasses.
Ash Ketchum from “Pokemon”
Open your eyes people. Ash Ketchum is a herb. Who the hell wears denim vests every day and rides out with a Pikachu? If I were a Pokemon trainer, I’d be rocking a leather jacket with a motherf*cking Charizard next to me. Essentially, it’s like Ash has a Prius and I have the Ferrari Italia 458. Someone teach this kid how to stunt.
Eliza Thornberry from “The Wild Thornberrys”
Eliza Thornberry was like that smelly girl in class that no one wants to sit next to. But then she moved away with her family, traveled to random forests and now she thinks she can talk to animals. When your best friend is a monkey and your little bro never wears a shirt, you really have some problems. What is with these white kids and their imaginations? Damn! At least her sister Debbie is bad though.