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The Story of Fratstar Edward Bro-den: The NSA Whistle Bro-er

Tyler Gildin

What if America’s most wanted man, was in fact, just another bro?

With fall rush rapidly approaching in many universities around the country, what better way to bro out than with the NSA whistle-bro-er, Edward Bro-den? “What does NSA stand for?,” you might ask.

Well, Nu Sigma Alpha, of course. They’re a very nosy frat who often spies and narks on other houses around them, but when it comes down to throwing parties, they still know how to get fratty.

Broden often leads the pack:

He’s the first one to shotgun a brewsky


Or to crush a keg to the face


He’s a sharp shooter


And a sharp dresser


He’s the life of the party


And a loyal brother


Sure, he’s had his low moments


He may have had some bad leaks in the past


But ultimately, he’s a bro who just loves his country.

Edward Bro-den: Fratstars and stripes forever.

Tyler Gildin

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