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The Story of Fratstar Edward Bro-den: The NSA Whistle Bro-er

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Tyler Gildin

What if America’s most wanted man, was in fact, just another bro?

With fall rush rapidly approaching in many universities around the country, what better way to bro out than with the NSA whistle-bro-er, Edward Bro-den? “What does NSA stand for?,” you might ask.

Well, Nu Sigma Alpha, of course. They’re a very nosy frat who often spies and narks on other houses around them, but when it comes down to throwing parties, they still know how to get fratty.

Broden often leads the pack:

He’s the first one to shotgun a brewsky

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Or to crush a keg to the face

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He’s a sharp shooter

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And a sharp dresser

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He’s the life of the party

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And a loyal brother

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Sure, he’s had his low moments

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He may have had some bad leaks in the past

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But ultimately, he’s a bro who just loves his country.

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Edward Bro-den: Fratstars and stripes forever.

Tyler Gildin

Tyler Gildin

Editor

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