The Story of Fratstar Edward Bro-den: The NSA Whistle Bro-er

The Story of Fratstar Edward Bro-den: The NSA Whistle Bro-er
LOL Lists
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

What if America’s most wanted man, was in fact, just another bro?

With fall rush rapidly approaching in many universities around the country, what better way to bro out than with the NSA whistle-bro-er, Edward Bro-den? “What does NSA stand for?,” you might ask.

Well, Nu Sigma Alpha, of course. They’re a very nosy frat who often spies and narks on other houses around them, but when it comes down to throwing parties, they still know how to get fratty.

Broden often leads the pack:

He’s the first one to shotgun a brewsky

snowden_3

Or to crush a keg to the face

snowden_1

He’s a sharp shooter

snowden_2

And a sharp dresser

snowden_3 copy

He’s the life of the party

e8865343

And a loyal brother

nu_sigma_alpha

Sure, he’s had his low moments

snowden_5

He may have had some bad leaks in the past

drunk_guy_piss_pants copy

But ultimately, he’s a bro who just loves his country.

5B7F546BFCB026B63D0534C328E_h316_w628_m5_ctVVvgnGq

Edward Bro-den: Fratstars and stripes forever.

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Tyler Gildin

Tyler Gildin is an NYC-based Stand Up Comedian and the Creative Director at Elite Daily. He is a Television Radio Film graduate from Syracuse University and performs at clubs and colleges all over the country. He’s been written up and interviewed in publications including Newsday, CBS New York, AOL Patch and SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio. He once forgot to wear his underwear to school in 4th grade, and his mom came and brought them for him in a manila envelope. His teacher opened it in front of the class.

More In LOL Lists

LOL Lists Connor Toole

15 Perfect Responses To Texts From Thirsty Exes (Photos)

People have always had rocky relationships, but it’s taken a while to reach a point where we can document the lowest moments of our private lives to share them online with strangers for some reason I haven’t entirely figured out. Texts From Your Ex is a recently launched Instagram account devoted to posting screenshots of […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

Father Fashion: 18 Outfits That Only A Dad Could Wear

Allowing a tiny person to grow inside you for months on end before pushing it into the world via an impossibly small hole tends to leave a lasting impact, which is why having kids is a truly life-changing experience for everyone involved. It’s not exactly difficult to see the impact of a pregnancy on the […]

LOL Lists Connor Toole

Bathroom Graffiti Quotes Make Motivational Pictures So Much Less Inspirational (Photos)

In the past few years, the Internet has been flooded with something I like to call “Tumblr pictures”: photographs filtered to look older than they actually are plastered with pseudo-inspirational messages for people who enjoy reblogging quotes from authors they’ve never heard of to make other people think they’re cultured. I’m not disparaging anyone who […]

Also On Elite

Life

Why This Generation’s Need For Closure Will Be Our Greatest Downfall

The need for closure may very well be one of our greatest human flaws. It may sometimes feel as though it takes such a toll on our bodies that it actually trumps the need for food, the need for water and the need for shelter. How could something so emotionally-fueled manage to weasel its way […]

World

Steven Sotloff Had Israeli Citizenship And Secretly Practiced Judaism While In ISIS Captivity

Recently-slain American journalist Steven Sotloff had dual citizenship in Israel and still managed to practice his Jewish faith under the captivity of the Islamic State. According to The Guardian, the 31-year-old’s Israeli citizenship was revealed in a tweet from a spokesman for the Israeli foreign ministry this morning. Paul Hirschson’s message said, Cleared for publication: […]

Wellness

2 Ways To Maintain Your Sanity, Even If You’ve Lost Everything Else In Life

Losing sucks. Whether it’s a loss of material goods, a job, dream or a loved one, they all hurt to some degree. What differentiates them, though, is the attachment we choose to assign them. It’s how much we choose to be attached to something and let it affect us. Life goes on, as long as we’re still breathing. Somehow, down […]

Technology

Some Genius Invented A Wearable Futon So You Can Sleep Anywhere, Anytime

Japan is known as one of the most innovative, technologically forward-thinking countries in the world. When genius inventions are born from Japanese minds, usually, we’re not so surprised. A Japanese company recently created something we’d expect to see come from a crafty college student: a wearable futon. The Wearable Futon Air Mat Set is part […]

Strategy

5 Common Misconceptions About The Federal Minimum Wage In The US

Minimum wage has been a hotly contested topic since it was first introduced in Washington in 1912. It started as a state-by-state initiative — until the first federal minimum wage was instituted in 1933, at 25 cents per hour. The federal minimum wage was quickly ruled unconstitutional until 1938, when Congress passed a law allowing for […]