Throwback Thursday, 90s Edition: Family Matters

Throwback Thursday, 90s Edition: Family Matters
Humor

Throwback Thursday, 90s Edition: Family Matters

One of the benefits of working frequently between the hours of 4 PM and 2 AM is that you are available to watch some great afternoon TV.

Recently, I discovered that MTV2, in addition to actually existing, shows two hours of Saved by the Bell and Boy Meets World back-to-back from noon til 4.  As you’d imagine, this was a revelation and ever since I’ve been reliving some of my favorite childhood shows.  What follows is the second of several look-backs at some of those incredible shows and what made them so (not-so) great.

Before I get into this wonderful show, I think it definitely bears mentioning that it’s no longer in syndication. Anywhere. Aside from how big of a crime against humanity that is, I’m sure it helps me remember it fondly.

When your only memories of a show are from 5, 10, 15 years ago, it tends to play with exactly how well you recall each and everything about it.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way… I’m not sure Family Matters was my favorite family sitcom of the 90′s (although, it’s certainly close), but it may have been the best.  It had basically everything that makes a show great, literally from start to finish. Let’s take a look.

Right off the bat, the show started with a banger.

It is interesting to note that during the first season of the show, Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World” was the theme music.  Really.  Oh, and by interesting, I of course mean fucking idiotic. How soon was the guy who suggested this song as the theme fired?  Twenty minutes after it aired? Thirty? I like to think there’s some alternate universe out there where that remained the theme song and people my age remember Family Matters as the show they used to fall asleep during as kids. Moving on…

So, besides the quality of the song itself*** and its shockingly good remix, there was the quality of the actual video opening. It had all the cheesy character introductions we love (you know the ones I’m talking about, where everyone stops what they’re doing to give a “what up” to the camera).

Several characters had funny names (does it get better than Reginald VelJohnson? For some reason, I’ve always enjoyed calling him Reginavald, almost like his first and last name are the new hot celebrity couple) and later on there was that part where Waldo got drilled in the head by a basketball (but, more on him in a moment).

Let’s see, what else…There were also good looking women. Laura turned into a cutie (though, this is just completely unfair to her now), her friend Maxine was attractive too, and even the aunt and grandmother weren’t bad. But most interesting was Steve’s girlfriend Myra (full name, of course, Myra Boutros Boutros Monkhouse).  Michelle Thomas, who sadly passed away in 1998, was probably the hottest of the bunch.

Oh yeah, and the show had one of the most ridiculous endings of any show I can remember. Instead of bowing out gracefully after Laura and Steve agree to get married, there are two more episodes where (somehow) Steve winds up going into space with NASA, Eddie gets shot but survives, and ultimately Steve returns… from space.  If you never saw those episodes or didn’t know about them, consider yourself lucky.

But of course, the best part of the show were the characters. Obviously, that means Steve Urkel but I also add Waldo Faldo to that list as well. He has to be one of the dumbest buddy characters in sitcom history (right up there with Buddy from Charles in Charge) and inexplicably, he was an incredible chef.

Either way, Urkel was everyone’s favorite (did you know, he didn’t begin to make regular appearances on the show til season 2? Fun fact meter, ding!).  I’m not sure which Urkel spin-off I liked most, the gangster cousin from Detroit, the Bruce Lee clone (which, in retrospect, would almost certainly be considered racist if done on TV today), or Stefan.

Each had their ups and downs, but Stefan was just so damn cool. How Laura didn’t choose him over Steve is a mystery right up there with the Kennedy assassination, far as I’m concerned. And how about how apparent it became towards the end of the show that Jaleel White wasn’t a nerd and was way too big to be playing a dweeby kid? Finally, anyone who wore suspenders while playing basketball gets a gold star in my book.

All in all, great show. Had just about everything (including the over-the-top morality lessons) and was just bad and just good enough to be enjoyable. Thankfully, I can’t watch it anymore so I won’t be able to change my mind.

I’d love for an aspiring politician to make one of his or her central campaign platforms to restore classic 90s sitcoms to their rightful place among the syndicated living. There’s no way on Earth episodes of Melissa and Joey (new or otherwise) would outrank any episode of  Family Matters.

Except for recurring, worthwhile white characters. I know, I know… find me a recurring black character in Seinfeld, Friends, Frasier, etc. No argument there. Fun fact: according to wikipedia, Family Matters is the 3rd longest running sitcom with a predominantly black cast (behind The Jeffersons and Tyler Perry’s House of Payne.)

The Step by StepFull House and Family Matters theme songs were almost identical. I realize Miller-Boyett were behind each of those shows, but it honestly sounds like they banged all 3 out in the same recording session with just one set of instructions: Make sure the Full House and Step by Step themes are just a little whiter than the Family Matters theme.

I’m confident enough to also argue that there were some good looking men on that show. Darius McCrary, Jaleel White and the kid who played Waldo weren’t too shabby.

What were the other options for the finale? Steve gets eaten by a lion that escaped from the local zoo, Eddie shoots the lion in the chest and Steve escapes? Steve cracks a hole in the Ozone layer causing mass-climate change and all sorts of issues and as ending credits roll he shouts “Did I Do That?”?  Where in the fucking world did him going to space ever come into play?

Scott Spinelli | Elite.

Follow Scott Spinelli on twitter. His new novel congratulations? is available now on his website and Amazon.

More In Humor

Humor

New “Arrested Development” Cast Interview (Video)

Entertainment News recently posted an interview with most of the cast members of the upcoming “Arrested Development” season and it’s awesome. The video includes interviews with Jason Bateman, Michael Cera, David Cross, Portia de Rossi, Jessica Walter and Alia Shawkat, all giving their two cents on the upcoming episodes which will be released in full [...]

Humor

Another Funny Kmart Commercial That Sounds Like People Cursing (Video)

Wait, what did they just say!? Kmart has a new marketing campaign that sounds like a bunch of people cursing. First it was the “Ship My Pants” commercial that sounded like a store full of people exclaiming about how they had just sh*t themselves and now they bring us the “Big Gas Savings” commercial. In [...]

Humor

Lena Dunham Is Upset About ‘Girls’ Porn Parody, But We Couldn’t Be Happier

You know a show or film has made an impact when someone makes a porn parody about it. From “Lord of the G-strings,” to “Harry Twatter,” to “Battlestar Orgasmica,” having a porn made after your movie or show is considered a compliment. Apparently that’s not how Lena Dunham see it. According to Business Insider, Hustler has recently [...]

Humor

Koji Uehara Gives Shane Victorino A High Five In The Face, Plus Other High Five Fails

In the face!! After pitching a 1-2-3 eighth inning in last night’s Red Sox-White Sox game, Boston pitcher Koji Uehara was feeling pumped up. He stormed into the dugout dishing out high fives like they were going on sale. Who wasn’t paying attention? Outfielder Shane Victorino. Who took a high five to the face? Shane Victorino. Guess [...]

Humor

‘Precious Plum’ The Next Honey Boo Boo (Video)

Anyone who has watched a minute of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” knows how crazy and ridiculous that show is. Just the fact that this show exists is a tragedy in and of itself. Having said that, it’s always a good time making fun of these horrible shows and the awful people who are on [...]

Humor

Seattle Butcher Feeds His Pigs Marijuana Before Cooking Them (Video)

Do you like bacon? Do you like weed? Are you an American? If you answered yes to all three, there’s a butcher in Seattle with great news for you! William Von Schneidau of Pike Place Market in Seattle Washington has been experimenting with meat for a while and believes he has come up with a real [...]

Also On Elite

Sports

Michigan State Football Commit Will Skip Out On School To Pursue Rap Career

Do you remember what you were doing in high school? Surely it wasn’t on the gridiron going for 792 yards and 13 touchdowns, while simultaneously managing your life as a future rap superstar. That’s exactly what Jay Harris, aka Jay DatBull, is doing. I mean, the kid’s got it all. A full-ride scholarship to Michigan [...]

Sports

Sir Alex Ferguson Retires As Manager Of Manchester United After 26 Years

One of the most legendary coaches in all of English soccer, Sir Alex Ferguson, has decided to step down as manager of Manchester United today. He is leaving after a 26-year stint, becoming one of the most successful coach in British football history. At 71-years-old, this does not come as too much of a surprise [...]

Start Ups

Stream YouTube Videos Onto Your Phone Through Musi

Three high school boys besides doing homework and regularly attending school, have become one of the youngest entrepreneurs of America. The creators of a free music application Musi designed an incredible mobile source to stream music using Youtube. What was the source of motivation to start Musi application?  Streaming music on the iPhone sucked — [...]

Entertainment

Chad Johnson Is Broke, Can’t Pay Baby Mama

“At least you’re not Chad Johnson” might be something people say soon because on top of being a wanted man, the former NFL star’s finances are sinking faster than his career. Ochocinco filed new court docs as part of an ongoing battle with one of his baby mamas, Andrea Pearson, asking a judge to lower [...]

World

Russia Has Announced It Caught A CIA Agent Who Was Recruiting In Moscow

Russian authorities are claiming that they have detained an American CIA agent who was attempting to recruit Russian intelligence officers in Moscow for some undercover mission to obtain information. “At the moment of detention, special technical equipment was discovered, written instructions for the Russian citizen being recruited, as well as a large sum of money [...]