Throwback Thursday, 90s Edition: Saved By The Bell

Throwback Thursday, 90s Edition: Saved By The Bell
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Good lord. I honestly have no idea where to start with this one. Truth is, the idea for this whole ‘let’s review ’90s sitcoms’ thing came from watching this show on MTV2 at noon nearly every weekday for the last month or so.

At first I thought my hesitation write this was due to how predictable it would be to start with The Bell. The more I thought about it, however, I realized I was putting it off because I had no idea where to start, where to finish, where to go. There’s just so damn much.

Without exaggeration, I think I could honestly write a full post on any of the following topics related to this show:

  • How fucking hot was/is Kelly Kapowski? Is it possible that she’s hotter now than she was then? Was there a more masturbated to teen star from 1990 to 1995?
  • This book. How much of it was true? How much of it was made up to stir trouble? Would it be better or worse if it was mostly accurate? (I vote, better, personally)
  • The cool of Zack Morris. Topics of discussion include making the prep look “in”, his slicked blonde locks, the ability to freeze time by saying “Time Out”*, how he macked it with basically every female on the show and none of them ever really seemed to mind, and his amazing, Frank Abagnale-esque ability to con anyone.
  • The incredibly awful overacting job by Screech (and subsequently, the over-reacting to his role on the show by becoming the what he’s become).
  • Why didn’t they actually do a full reunion on Jimmy Fallon?
  • How incredibly old they all looked as the show clearly went on too long.
  • The fact that they even had the nerve to make the New Class. Or, that they made the College Years as awful as they made them.

I could keep going, but I’ll spare you.

Instead, what I decided to do was just go character-by-character and give my random thoughts on each. It’s not the best idea, but it’s better than writing a book about it. Which, best believe, I considered.

First, a few fun facts:

Did you know?… The show was originally called “Good Morning, Miss Bliss” and featured Zack, Lisa and Mr. Belding but was more focused on Miss Bliss. Somehow, the idea of a mediocre sitcom with poor writing centered not on kids but on teachers (despite clearly being geared towards a younger audience) didn’t work.

NBC ditched the show after one season, kept Zack and Lisa and re-branded the show as the Saved by the Bell we know and love… That there were only 5 seasons of The Bell, and there were actually 7 seasons of Saved by the Bell: The New Class. Why that’s beyond belief is so obvious, I’ll leave it at that (Except to say, have you ever even met anyone that’s seen an episode of The New Class? Did it even ever air?)…

Zachary Morris

What can be said that hasn’t been said already? So. Fucking. Cool. I never had blonde hair, never could be confused with a preppy, never had a cellphone the size of a car battery, never dated 5 girls a semester… and yet I (like every male my age) wanted to be Zack Morris with every fiber of my being.

The man always had a scheme, a plan, a way out. Selling out Albert Clifford when it came to Kelly, forcing his pal Samuel to take out the principal’s niece on a date, or leaving his solo career with Zack Attack to visit his friends, he knew what needed to be sacrificed or manipulated to avoid any significant social damage.

While I never was in the audience for an actual taping of the show, I always gave a hoot or holler from home when he’d look into the camera and flash that mega-watt smile. Easily the only character on any of these shows I could see myself attracted to as a man and as a woman.

Kelly Kapowski

In watching the show again recently, I came to realize how little importance Kelly actually had on the show. There were the legions of other brothers in her family (9? To my recollection, we never met any of them). The fact that her father actually took his daughter’s money when he got laid off, however, was one of the most memorable chump-moves in teen sitcom history. She was also a waitress on-and-off at the Max.

In the first few seasons, she wasn’t really in the group. Towards the middle, she and Zack went back and forth, seemingly not-dating as much as they were dating. How they were cool with the other one just fooling around with another guy or girl right in front of them, I could never understand.

Tiffani-Amber Thiessen and Mark-Paul Gosselaar, by the way, had to be the best/hottest couple with combo first names in the history of names or couples. Lastly, I realize it’s a kids show, but I can’t be the only one hoping that there’s some backroom footage of the two of them just getting down after prom or something like that. Hey, a boy can dream.

Albert Clifford Slater

Another thing I didn’t remember from the show – and realized after I started watching again – how Zack and Albert weren’t friends right away. Albert Clifford moved from another school and initially served as Zack’s rival in the chase for Kelly. In fact, it wasn’t until Albert started dating Jessica that the whole Albert vs. Zachary thing really fully melted away.

I know you could say this about all of the actors by the series’ end, but did you ever see a high school student that jacked? There were episodes where he seemed to be missing sleeves for the entire time. I’m talking 22 minutes, no sleeves. Father was a bit of a douche, but he had a hot sister, J.B. What was it with initialed names in the Slater family? Never did learn what that stood for, but I’d have to guess Jon Benet. Just a guess.

Jessica Spano/Lisa Turtle

I never cared for either of these characters, but I guess I wasn’t supposed to. Jessica was way, way too tall and righteous for my liking. The righteousness I could tolerate, the height really drove me over the edge. Homegirl was a monster, most famous for her actually hysterical freak-out on caffeine pills.

And as far as Lisa was concerned, I hated her fling with Zack. That made no sense to me. They never had any chemistry and how does Lisa not have enough self-respect to say no after Zack had stuck his dick in half of Bayside by that point? Final point, and stay with me: I think, despite one being a cartoon and the other a fictional sitcom character, that Lisa Turtle from The Bell and Bebe Bluff from Doug are the same character. Think about it. Or, don’t.

Samuel Powers

Easily my least favorite of the regularly involved characters. He was such a goober, such a dork, such a doofus. I not only couldn’t stand the way he walked, talked, dressed (that shit was awful, even back then), but also the way people reacted around him.

If I had to hear one more “Why don’t you go back to dork mountain?”-type remark from Lisa, I’d smash my television. And his mom being a weird fan of Elvis? The only saving grace… he owned a bassett hound. That’s all he had to redeem him.

Richard Belding

Besides being a total buffoon and hiring a legion of buffoons (Mr. Tuttle, the no-necked Driver’s Ed teacher, the leader of those buffoons), Richie Belding had one good thing going for him: the fact that he was brothers with Rod Belding.

If you’ve ever wondered what happened to Rod Belding after his mysterious disappearing act before the school white water rafting trip (By the way, if my school took us to Taco Bell for Spanish class, that was adventurous, but I digress…), then please (I beg of you) watch this video. A tad long, but incredibly worth it. And, if I may say so, incredibly humorous.

As if you couldn’t tell, I love(d) this show. I could wax poetic on it, paste in more classic photos, erase everything on my DVR to fit more episodes on it… It never ends. Next time I go out, I’m pouring a little out for the Bell. Richie Belding would make the kids do the same for me.

I have to say, that was one of the least used features of the show that deserved far more play. It seemed like every so often, the writers would remember, “Oh yeah, that’s right, Zack can stop time whenever he wants to explain shit. Let’s get that in here this episode.”

Scott Spinelli | Elite.

Follow Scott Spinelli on twitter. His new novel congratulations? is available now on his website and Amazon.

Share Tweet
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Serge Efap

Serge Efap, the former fratstar turned self-proclaimed Renaissance Man hails from New York City. Growing up quickly, he learned that if you want something, you have to go get it for yourself. When he's not reminiscing about the glory days, you can find him searching for the next big thing.

More In Humor

LOL Lists Connor Toole

17 Hilarious ‘Slutty’ Costumes To Wear On Halloween, According To Twitter

Historically speaking, “slutty” isn’t the most flattering word in the world, but this year I’ve heard slutty/sexy/racy costumes be described as exploitative, progressive, misogynist and feminist and I don’t really know what to think anymore. Regardless of your opinions concerning this type of attire, there’s no denying that scantily-clad house pets and blue collar workers […]

Humor Connor Toole

Father Gives Daughter Valuable Life Advice As She Brushes Her Teeth (Video)

I don’t have the statistics to back this up, but from what I’ve seen, there’s a direct correlation between the rise of the Internet and the number of parents who shamelessly use their children as props to get attention. In most cases, this involves dressing kids up in ridiculous outfits or exploiting their gullibility for the enjoyment […]

Humor Connor Toole

10 Last-Minute Halloween Costumes You Can Make With A Sharpie (Photos)

Halloween is tonight, and if you haven’t picked out your costume, you’re basically screwed. Based on my experience trying to track down a Frank Serpico costume late last night, you’re going to wait a minimum of 30 minutes to get into any store that sells anything remotely related to costumes, meaning that you’re probably going […]

Humor Adam Pliskin

Weatherman Uses Green Screen To Become A Skeleton For Halloween (Video)

Everyone is getting into the Halloween spirit, even local weathermen. One TV meteorologist, Jude Redfield, lightened the mood of his broadcast by green-screening himself into a skeleton. He proceeded to do his whole weather report as the set of bones. Another anchor even joined in on the fun and fed Redfield some candy, which slipped […]

Also On Elite


Why Deferring College Can Be The Better Option For Some

We are taught that college education is essential to success. Our parents promote this idea and try to provide us with the best college opportunities. There is no doubt that college education is imperative to a bright and lucrative future. Furthermore, it gives you insight and knowledge that you might not have acquired before. Additionally, […]


Why Gamergate Is Yet Another Example To Prove The Necessity Of Feminism

If you have been fortunate enough to avoid all of the coverage of Gamergate, congratulations, you’ve avoided having to read some of the most hateful things imaginable. As this situation stretches into a months-long free-for-all of hate speech and threats, it is time to address what Gamergate is and what it means in our society. […]


People With No Shame Continue To Wear Ray Rice Halloween Costumes (Photos)

America has no chill. Even one of the most disturbing sports stories of the year didn’t get some people to stop and show some respect. Ray Rice is still facing his ban from the NFL this season after shocking footage was released of him knocking out his wife, Janay Palmer, in an elevator. This new trend of Halloween f*ckery […]


Baby Dressed As Uncle Leo From ‘Seinfeld’ Is Actually Quite Scary

Halloween is just around the corner, and that means it’s time to get dressed up in a creative, pop culture-inspired costume. The more obscure the reference, the better. A mother named Kiersten Essenpreis decided to dress her toddler as a fairly obscure character from “Seinfeld.” Essenpreis chose to make her baby, Harlan, look like Jerry’s Uncle Leo for […]


Chinese Officers Perform Anal Security Checks On 10,000 ‘Suspicious’ Doves

Chinese security workers performed absurdly scrupulous body searches on 10,000 doves as a security measure one day before the country’s National Day holiday. According to CBS News, the doves were released at sunrise on October 1 to celebrate the holiday, a gathering in Beijing’s Tiananmen Square honoring the 65th anniversary of the creation of the […]


LeBron James Led A Public Workout On Brazil’s Copacabana Beach (Video)

If you haven’t heard, LeBron James is in Brazil. And while the Cleveland Cavaliers’ primary business in the South American country has been taken care of — the exhibition against the Miami Heat on Saturday — the team hung around for more fun in the sun. Here’s LeBron and company leading a public workout on […]