The Types Of Friends You Have On Facebook
Facebook today has turned into a social media wasteland where all you see is the same repetitive characters on your news feed. No matter how many friends you have, there is not a great deal of diversity in what people are saying or doing.
This is only the beginning of the end as Facebook is surely taking the same path Myspace took into internet irrelevancy.
Here are the types of friends you have on Facebook.
10. The Person Who Checks In Everywhere
This person is so well traveled. Psyche. They are actually quite pedestrian if they feel the need to "check-in" everywhere they go. We don't care what restaurant you just ate at or if you just watched a shitty movie with your shitty friends. The over-flooding of where they go everyday will soon create great distaste for that person.
9. The Lyricist
Some of the most groan inducing staples of our Facebook feeds, these friends insist on speaking solely through song lyrics, regardless of the situation. You are not Drake. No one cares if you live once or if it's something they know. And for some reason they probably feel quite poetic when updating these statuses which is the saddest part of all.
8. The New Parent
We get it: new life is precious, children are the future, etcetera etcetera, but can we please just skim over your plethora of baby photos and hourly status updates? We acknowledge that your baby did that thing that you’re telling everyone about, but we can assure you that it’s just not that interesting.
7. The Annoying Couple
The worst thing about these friends: the constant saccharine-sweet status updates about how totally, unequivocally, OMG-worthy, for-real-this-time-you-guys in love they are. The best part: the bittersweet (and ultimately inevitable) break-up posts…before they get back together a week later. Ahh, young love!
6. The Food Lover
Every time you look at your Facebook feed, you see that your foodie friend has updated yet another album of delicious looking food. Way to make everyone hungry asshole. This is also not a very good look. Don't let people know every time you eat or else your just going to come off as well, a fatass.
5. The Parents
They don't really get how any of this works, but that doesn't stop them from wanting to be a very big -- and very vocal -- part of your social network circle. If they're not tagging you in an endless array of baby pictures, they'd like to share exactly what they think of all those drinking photos you put up the other night...
4. Your Crush
You mainly friended this person because you want to stalk basically stalk them. You lurk on their profile looking at their photos and wishing you could be in those photos too. Maybe one day you will have the courage to "like" one of their statuses and maybe even (gasp) write on their wall.
3. The Nightlife Promoter
You will receive on average upwards of 10 nightlife invitations from this person a week! Whenever you log into your Facebook and see notifications thinking someone is trying to talk to you, it will be instead the same dude mass inviting you to a shitty club. You never go to any of their events but you still are invited.
2. Half Naked People
Go back to Myspace.
1. People Who Give Too Much Information
These people go a little overboard with sharing information surrounding their everyday life. Whether its a explicit status update about a rash they have or a wall photo of them exposing their ass, one thing is for certain: they were "that kid" in school. Unsubscribe.