‘Why China Is Kicking Our Ass’: Penis Drawing Machine (Video)

Humor
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Let’s all face it, China is pretty much kicking our ass…

Conan O’Brien‘s new segment, “Why China Is Kicking Our Ass,” sets out to explain the reasons why many believe the Chinese currently have a leg up on us. Last night’s reason: people in the U.S. are too busy creating Penis Drawing Machines. Yep, that’s right, a mechanically engineered robot that is programed to draw a penis….America!

Now drawing penises isn’t just for drunk people when their friends are passed out, it’s for machines too!

The things we can accomplish when we put our minds to it. If only we had a penis growing machine…

Share Tweet
React

Tyler Gildin

Tyler Gildin is an NYC-based Stand Up Comedian and the Creative Director at Elite Daily. He is a Television Radio Film graduate from Syracuse University and performs at clubs and colleges all over the country. He’s been written up and interviewed in publications including Newsday, CBS New York, AOL Patch and SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio. He once forgot to wear his underwear to school in 4th grade, and his mom came and brought them for him in a manila envelope. His teacher opened it in front of the class.

More In Humor

Humor Emily Arata

Naked Baby Has The Best Photobomb Ever, And He Doesn’t Even Know

I honestly don’t even know how this photo is possible. Twitter user Michael J. Hudson tweeted a picture of a good friend’s infant, noting the baby is already a master at the art of photobombing. Somehow, this baby is vertical, red and seemingly floating in the air. The question at hand is not if this […]

Also On Elite

Sports

Landon Donovan Convinces James Harden He Played In The World Cup In New Commercial

In Foot Locker’s most recent campaign, NBA greats Charles Barkley and Scottie Pippen stress the importance having a short-term memory to James Harden. The greats remind Harden that he can’t dwell on his shortcomings, otherwise it’s impossible to achieve any kind of prominence. One guy who understands that is none other than the greatest US […]

Politics

Why Being Jewish Doesn’t Mean I Must Support Everything Israel Does

One of the gifted items my congregation presented to me following my Bat Mitzvah was Alfred J Kolatch’s “The Jewish Book of Why.” This was an unsurprising gift, as an integral part of the Jewish religion is the pursuit of knowledge and, in doing so, questioning everything. With the ongoing conflict between Israel and Gaza, […]