The Zika virus has officially spread to the US, which means it’s finally time for all of us to get good and panicked. The mosquito-born virus is spreading rapidly across the Americas, threatening birth defects and feverish symptoms.
While it’s very unlikely to kill anyone, that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a little retail therapy to ease our unfounded fears.
Here are some of the best apocalypse survival kits you can buy on Amazon for all the doomsayers at heart.
“The Walking Dead” Survival Kit
Now this is the real deal. You’ve got a blanket, some water, 2,400 calories of space food that never goes bad and bandaids to ineffectively cover Walker bites.
Stowed securely inside a trendy, slightly distressed shoulder bag, even Rick Grimes has been known to use this kit.
Rothco Deluxe Adventurer Survival Kit
For the zombie slayer with an adventurous side, this kit comes complete with a knife that doubles as a harpoon.
With a fishing line included, you can go from surviving to straight chilling in a motorboat in no time — that’s a Rothco guarantee. It’s only $23.79 and eligible for Prime shipping.
Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit in a Sardine Can
Pocket-sized and affordable, this one’s got everything you might need in a pinch: a compass, a whistle, matches and the all-important golf pencil. You can buy yours for $6.45 here.
This one is the prepper’s favorite for a reason. It’s got all the goods, from a straw that filters water to flashy “look at me” packs and a protractor (?). There are also glow sticks, so you’ll be post-apocalyptic-rave-ready too.
“Spring Breakers” Zombie Apocalypse Kit
The “Spring Breakers” zombie apocalypse kit is by far the most useful of the bunch. It comes with two guns, brass knuckles, stacks of cash, lighters, a lollipop for sustenance and weed for pain — all in an adorable peach backpack.
And while you technically can’t buy it on Amazon, you can purchase all of the items separately just about anywhere in America.
Happy surviving, y’all.
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