Let’s face it; we have all encountered negative people in our lives. The ones about whom you sometimes have fleeting, but very bad thoughts?
The ones you wish you could beam out of your midst to the far reaches of the universe. We all wish we didn’t have to deal with that kind of drama, but in the meantime, here are some ways you can try to rid yourself of their effects:
Use psychology.
Although I only took two psychology courses in college, I still marvel about how it has helped me to understand the human mind and behavior, including my own.
It is often said that people hurt others when they are nursing some sort of battle wound… it’s a vicious cycle that has to stop with us.
If we pause to consider the real reason behind why a person is hell-bent on being so nasty to us, we can probably come up with a solution to treat with the situation.
I’ve realized that oftentimes, people lash out when they recognize you have something that they want. It could be a characteristic, skill, talent, possession or perhaps, just because you appear to have it together and seem happy on the outside.
The truth is, you never know about the journeys of others, what’s really going on within or what sacrifices and hardships transpired in their lives.
It goes both ways… the grass is not always greener on the other side. Things may be perfect without you even realizing. Each person has different opportunities it’s up to the individual to make the most of what’s going on.
Kill them with kindness.
Oftentimes, people use vindictiveness as defense mechanisms. When you realize from where this person is coming, you can simply do the opposite.
Put out their fires with kindness and empathy so they have no choice but to soften their approaches and maybe even try to befriend you. They may also open up and allow you to gain a better understanding of this person’s plight and adjust your own behavior.
Rationalize with them.
When you can’t win an argument, try to talk to your rival in a reasonable manner. Explain that you feel hurt when they lash out and say mean things and that you really wish it would be possible to get along.
Sometimes it helps to vocalize your feelings so they have the chance to hear how you really feel while sharing their concerns. You can also use this opportunity to apologize for how you made them feel, wipe the slate clean and attempt to start anew.
Distance is sometimes bliss.
When all else fails, put a little distance between you and that other person. If you have to work together, just keep it businesslike and professional. After all, you’re not getting paid to be besties.
Just do your work and keep the chitchat to a bare minimum. If it’s a friend, acquaintance or family member, you must try to be civil.
However, if you begin to see a trend in which this person is constantly making disparaging remarks and killing your joys, you have the option to let the relationship die a natural death, only speaking when absolutely necessary. With some distance between you two, it may be easier to be friendly and love them from afar.
Maya Angelou once said that "people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Come what may, I make a conscious effort never to repay others with unkindness, which is something we can all strive to do to make this world a better place.
