Why We Can't Have Nice Things: 28 Times Technology Ruined Your Life
Technology is great. We all love to use it, but it's not without certain (and numerous) flaws.
Sometimes, technology completely fails us, or we completely fail it. Here are 28 of those times:
1. Your phone dies right when you need to make an important call.
A psychopath is chasing you with an axe for an arm after a weekend getaway to the cabin in the woods and your phone dies.
That, or it dies right when you're outside of someone's apartment and the buzzer doesn't work, so you're forced to scream, “Jamie, let me in!”
2. GPS disconnects in the middle of nowhere.
“GPS lost.” This typically happens when you're in the middle of nowhere and there is no sign of civilization around.
3. You accidentally like a post or photo while scrolling, half asleep, as soon as you wake up.
You pull out your phone upon waking and start to scroll, yet you fall asleep again and start sleep-liking.
4. Butt dials.
Like when you accidentally call your boss while you're ranting to your girlfriend about how your boss made a comment about how much he thinks your stand-up comedy set sucks.
5. You post someone's name as a status when you were just trying to creep.
We've all been there. You didn't even tag the person. What's on your mind? “Lou Ferrigno,” obviously.
6. Your phone rings during a movie, despite that fact that you put it on silent.
You know you put it on silent, but your phone doesn't care.
7. Dropped calls.
Like when you're in the middle of an argument and the other person thinks you just hung up on him or her.
8. Accidental selfie.
You pull out your phone real quick to snap a shot of the drunk guy falling down and accidentally take a photo of your own face. “Hi. I don't know camera things.”
9. Auto connecting WiFi.
It's great that your phone can auto-connect to WiFi, but not when you don't want it to do so.
Like when you're walking past a Starbucks or an Xfinity hot spot while on a phone call, and your device starts freezing up, trying to auto-connect (but not connecting at all), leaving you standing there yelling, “NO. Not now!”
Is it an mp4, mpg, m4v, mp3, mov, asf, wmv, flv, avi, or C3P0/R2D2? Who knows? Who cares?
11. Random responses from Siri.
Like when you're in the middle of an argument and Siri butts in with, “I found one casino; it's 10 miles away.”
12. Not being eligible for an upgrade.
When that new hip, stylish, minimalistic flat design operating system comes out but you're not cool enough or good enough to have it.
13. Sync errors.
You can't send the email from your computer because of a server login authentication technology jargon error you will never understand how to fix.
You rip your hair out, uninstall, rip some more hair out, reinstall, tape the hair back on, login, click send and it still doesn't work.
14. Locked out of accounts.
Setting up a two-step authentication process was great for your security needs… until you forgot the password and changed the email with which it was associated.
15. Accidental thumbs up on Facebook messenger.
Someone shares your heartfelt, sentimental message about how you are the love of his or her life, or how he or she just got that webbed foot thing taken care of and you reply with a thumbs up.
16. OUT OF SPACE.
When you buy a new phone or computer and you're already out of space before you even turn the thing on. “Insufficient storage available.” UGH.
17. Security hacks revealing all your nude photos in the cloud.
All those nudes you took? Yeah, THOSE ones. They're public, baby. Now your bare ass is on the cover of TMZ. Cool.
18. When you can't find a song in time.
“What's the name of this song? Let me find out.”
You pulled out Shazam, but you weren't quick enough and the fact you couldn't find the song in time and can't remember the lyrics to type them in on Google later will haunt you until the day you die.
19. The cloud not syncing when you need to see a document.
You're in that super important business meeting where they're talking about annual revenues, gross numbers and nets.
The head of business turns to you for a revenue update and you can't pull it up. “I'm sorry. I… I'm the worst.”
20. Printer issues where it's not a paper jam or a low toner notification, but instead, it's just “in the queue.”
There's nothing in the printer at the moment and you're the only one using it, but you're stuck in the queue. This is the purgatory of the printer world.
21. When video streaming goes wrong.
No matter what you do, the video won't just play. It keeps stopping and starting, speeding up and slowing down. Come on! I want to see these cats arguing, damn it!
22. Read receipts.
You're running around and you get a message you've read, but you can't respond right away.
Then, you get another message about how you're a monster because you saw it and never replied. Then, you turn into a literal monster.
23. Red eye photos.
You take a photo at the 10-year-reunion with the biggest reveal being that you're all demons now.
24. Auto-playing videos.
The whole office is downstairs waiting for the elevator to go to an office lunch you weren't invited to while the Russian twerk dancers start auto-playing in your news feed.
25. Tagging the wrong people in photos.
You post some photos with friends and then tag someone's grandmother in them. She wasn't even there!
26. Sending emails to the wrong people.
Your improv group started a chain email to communicate with each other about your rehearsals and show schedules and you end up emailing some lady named Wendy, who runs a bed and breakfast.
She replies to all of it with, “There are too many of you. I won't have enough room!”
27. You sent a song to the wrong person on Spotify.
And you included the message, “I love you, baby.” You sent it to Terry, a guy you kind of know, but not really. Let's just hope he enjoys “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran, too.
28. Image resolution.
You try to post a new profile picture on Facebook or Twitter or anywhere else and all you get is a pixelated image or black silhouette like you're one of those guys with a distorted voice ratting about the gang you were in on “Gangland.”
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