Four years ago, I decided to adopt a four-legged feline. In the absence of a relationship, my lonely apartment needed another heartbeat to fill the empty crevices.
My cat did just that. He filled every single space, up to and including the cupboards he so gallantly claims as his own personal mini apartments.
Jagger is a pretty unique little guy. He’s a ginger tabby, which means he’s a little nuts in all the right ways. He chases his own tail, plays fetch with me (especially at 6 am on Saturday mornings) and greets me at the door as he proceeds to meow the briefings of his day.
He’s basically a dog in a cat’s body. Honestly, he doesn’t really know how to “cat” at all. Other than being my childlike life companion, there’s one thing he’s even more amazing at: He’s my ultimate “Netflix and chill” buddy.
Truthfully, I’m single AF. I do meet people, and I do date. But so far, nothing has worked out.
This might be shocking, but I’ve legit never had actual “Netflix and chill” sex. I only know how to “Netflix and chill” with my cat, and we do it almost daily.
He’s the best. In fact, I couldn’t imagine “Netflix and chill” without the actual “chill” factor I get with my cat. When the right person finally comes into the mix, he’d better be prepared because my cat leads the way in being the perfect companion to my Netflix binge-a-thons, and for all the right reasons:
1. He’s low-maintenance on snacks.
Having a guest over for Netflix is great and all, but it usually means I have to feed someone, offer beverages, get up from my perfectly worn couch spot and cater to the comfort of someone else. Don’t get me wrong; I like being a good hostess most of the time. But it kind of defeats the chill factor I have in mind for my Netflix nights.
When it’s just my cat, there’s not a lot of work required. I give him a few Temptations treats and make sure his water and food dishes are stocked. Then, we’re good to go. It’s so easy.
2. He actually “chills.”
Maybe it’s because I’ve never truly experienced the Millennial version of “Netflix and chill,” but the idea of someone trying to get into my pants while I’m fully engaged in a hefty binge session annoys the sh*t out of me.
Isn’t the point of “Netflix and chill” to actually watch Netflix and chill? Since when did “chill” come with a side of genitals?
With my cat, I don’t have to worry about shaving my legs, wearing something impressive or finding ways to tell the person trying to get into my pants to politely f*ck off. We just chill. He also selectively snuggles, which I love.
The idea of cuddling for an entire movie is a little nauseating. Don’t get me wrong; I love cuddling. But during a good binge, you need some breathing room.
For the most part, my cat just chills on his perch. But every so often, he comes over to me on the couch and makes his way to a cozy spot on my lap. He takes a nice 20-minute siesta there, and then leaves me alone again.
He’ll go eat some food, drink his water and proceed back to his perch, where he’ll continue to chill. He’s basically perfect.
3. He doesn’t talk during important scenes.
Don’t you just hate that one person who always seems to flap at the gums the moment something really good happens in the show or movie you’re watching? Talking is fine, but it’s almost never at the right time.
The talking is also usually about something pointless and irrelevant. Sometimes, you just need a little peace.
Thankfully, I don’t really have that problem. Besides the occasional “meow” from time to time, I enjoy sweet and blissful silence during my Netflix and chill. It’s amazing.
4. He mostly just sleeps.
At the end of the day, he’s a cat. He basically does a whole lot of nothing during the day.
He sleeps. He eats. He cuddles. He’s the chill to my Netflix.
5. He doesn’t give a f*ck what we watch.
The best reason my cat is my ultimate “Netflix and chill” partner is because he isn’t fussy about the details. He doesn’t care what we watch, or how many hours I spend glued to the TV.
He doesn’t judge me for occasionally yelling at characters, and he doesn’t expect me to cater to all his needs. He’s just happy to be in my company, and I’m happy to be in his. I really do love my chill cat.
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