I'm Effing Old: 10 Painful Realizations You Have As A College Senior
If you're sitting here reading this completely confused as to where the last years of your university life have gone, then join the club.
You, along with me, are a final-year student laden with deadlines, stress and worry — not to mention, a large side serving of nostalgia.
In a matter of months, it'll all seem like a distant but incredible memory.
For now, here are 10 things we final-year students have to endure on a daily basis:
1. Sacrificing going out to stay in and do work
Gone are the days when you could go out three nights in a row, guilt-free.
Evenings now begrudgingly tend to be spent watching TV in your pjs with a tea in one hand and a to-do list in the other.
Because, let's face it: You've either got a million things to do, or you're simply too exhausted with life to even comprehend social interaction.
2. Starting a new Netflix series when deadline day is looming
Procrastination is a key theme throughout your final year, but Netflix is hands-down procrastination at its finest.
Instead of investing your time in your dissertation, you decide to binge-watch an entire season of “Prison Break” just because.
And, when that infamous “continue watching” button pops up, the faster you click it, the less guilty you feel.
3. People constantly asking what you're doing with your life
Every family reunion consists of your great aunt asking you what your plans are when you graduate, met with disapproving looks from relatives when you enthusiastically explain your overwhelming desire to take a bit of time out for yourself.
Excuse me, but I'm a 21-year-old who's spent the last 17 years in education. Forgive me if I'm not quite ready to work for the next four decades.
4. Freaking out about graduation
What seems like a glorious family celebration at face value suddenly sends you into a hot flush. And, not just because the gown rental costs more than your weekly budget.
The mere fact you get the “graduation eligibility” email is enough to send your thoughts into utter turmoil.
Eligibility. Seriously? Cheers for the vote of confidence.
5. Wondering what the hell you'll do if you fail your degree
Despite the fact there are only three months left to have any direct input in your degree, it doesn't feel like anything you're doing is going toward it.
So, what the hell do you do if you fail? Pay up again and retake? Good one. Run away to Ibiza and be a shot girl? Tempting.
6. Forking out for everyone's 21st birthday
Birthdays are fab, but where does everyone think you're hiding your money tree, eh?
You get those annoying friends who insist on dragging the celebrations out for a week (yep, that's me), and while it's awesome being able to let your hair down, you could afford a pair of Louboutins with the amount of money you're putting down.
7. You still don't know all the people on your course
Whether it's the guy who falls asleep in the front row of lectures all the time, the girl who shows her face once a term or the person everybody else talks about but you have absolutely no clue who he or she is — after three long years, there are still people you've NEVER seen before.
Do you even go here?
8. Endless job opportunity emails
We get that tutors like to help out by pointing you in the right direction where post-university employment is concerned, but do we need to receive the same email four times, worded slightly differently?
No, we don't. It either makes you panic at your lack of organization or makes you want to run away and hide from adult life forever.
9. Getting angry at first year students who moan about their workload
“OMG, hun, I totally can't come out tonight I have so much work to do,” said the naive first-year you want to head-butt.
Honey, you don't know the meaning of the word until you enter the dreaded realms of final year. Go out every night and get wasted while you can because being a senior sucks ass.
10. Wishing you could turn back time and do it all again
Despite the solid shifts in the library and the commitment to your studies instead of your social life, you'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. University is hands-down the best time of your life.
It's hard to accept the sad reality that soon, the last years of incredible memories, amazing friends, enlightening life lessons and testing emotions are going to be over indefinitely.
Enjoy it while you can.
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