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10 Ways Your Pet Owns You… And You're Totally Okay With It

Since I was 4 years old, I've always had a dog — or three — roaming around the house, licking my cheeks and making sure I knew when the next door neighbor was taking out his garbage at 6 am.

In today's society, having a pet to tote around in your purse is considered to be the norm and some dogs are nearly as famous as their celebrity owners. As sad as it may be to admit, my dog completely owns me — what can I say, I am a sucker for puppy eyes. Although owners technically wear the pants in the relationship, it's no secret that pets rule the house.

1. Whose bed is it really?

No matter what we tell ourselves when we first get our pets, they always end up in bed with us. Whether we put them at our feet, or right on the pillow, their snores are louder than a severe asthmatic and their farts will forever haunt our noses. When we wake up at 4 am to see that they have taken over all three pillows, it starts to set in that the pets won the first battle — and we wouldn't have it any other way.


2. A bark goes a long way

As I'm lying on the couch, getting ready to dive into my pint of Ben and Jerry's, my dog angrily barks in my ear, as he apparently wants some ice cream, too. An hour later we are watching “The Notebook,” sharing the same spoon and I realize there's no way to get around a bark unless you give them what they want.


3. They get to finish our dinner

Although we may think we're smarter than our pets for having them wait until the end of the meal to lick the leftover meatballs from our plates, they are the real geniuses. Two barks and a jump, and they are quickly rewarded with a bite of food to hold them over until the next meal.


4. No one else is allowed to lick my face

Three minutes into seeing my Grandma, I am in the bathroom washing my lipstick and spit covered cheek, yuck! Ironically, after I see my dog sniff out a pile of the neighborhood dog's morning turd, I'm ready to get in bed and get a face licking!


5. Fighting over the remote

Thinking of watching a movie with an animal in it? Think again. If my dog hears another animal from the screen, he has no problem showing it who's boss until I change the channel to something that suits his needs. I guess my favorite shows can wait until next week?


6. Nervous poops in the car

Some animals love a good road trip, but others couldn't fear their lives more. When I want to take my dog for a walk at the park or a trip to the grocery store, he fears that I'm driving him to the vet or to get groomed. As I pet him and try to make him calm, I get a pile of warm dog poop on my lap, but at least my dog feels a whole lot better! Once again, he wins and I allow it.


7. No rule that can't be broken

Nothing makes my boyfriend's mom angrier than wearing shoes inside, but if it's a dog that just ran through mud, tracks on the carpet become cute. As soon as the dog jumps on the new leather sofa or takes a bite into my favorite moccasins, there's nothing we can do but giggle and tell the story over Thanksgiving dinner. However, as soon as I put my feet on the couch, the world is over and I'm on dish duty for the next two weeks.


8. A new wardrobe for them

The cutest Broncos uniform, made for my perfectly petite Chihuahua, catches my eye in a store and I buy it immediately. A raincoat with ducks on it on eBay for only $30? Sold. My pet's wardrobe has taken over my closet and I'm perfectly okay with it.


9. We wouldn't get up at 3 am for anyone else

When my phone rings in the middle of the night and my roommate leaves a voicemail crying that she is stranded at some party with her ex, I quickly spot the “ignore” button. However, when my 13-year-old dog licks my face because he has to go to the bathroom, I am happy to help him down the stairs and stand outside in my bunny boxers, holding a flashlight and waiting for him to give me the “okay, Mom, back to bed” eyes.


10. We care more about our pet's health than our own

The second my dog's ear smells a bit off or a scratch becomes uncontrollable, I rush him to the pet clinic to rack up a high bill and a dose of medicine. Yet, three weeks into this season's flu, my bronchitis hasn't gotten better, Nyquil becomes my fix and Dayquil gets me through the workweek. Not to mention, my pet's grocery list is longer than mine and I have to go to three stores to get his organic chicken dinners and gluten-free milk bones.

Lets face it, many of us let our pets manage our lives. They choose what time we eat dinner, how much leg room we get in bed tonight, what time we get to finally fall asleep and when it's time to wake up… and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Photo via We Heart It

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Emily Gerston

Contributor

Emily is a Los Angeles native with her eye set on the Big Apple. She graduated from the University of Arizona as an Alpha Epsilon Phi with a degree in Creative Writing and Sociology. When Emily isn't writing poetry or reading a good love story, ...
Emily is a Los Angeles native with her eye set on the Big Apple. She graduated from the University of Arizona as an Alpha Epsilon Phi with a degree in Creative Writing and Sociology. When Emily isn't writing poetry or reading a good love story, ...

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