11 Things You Can Do On Fire Island This Summer That You Can't Do Elsewhere
First it was The Hamptons. Then it was Atlantic City. And now there's a new pricey and hyped-up weekend go-to spot on the scene: Fire Island.
People who rent in Fire Island claim they are “way more chill” than the people who frequent the ritzy East End or fist-pumping shore.
And by “chill” they mean they don't mind taking a subway to a train to a ferry to a bus to further sequester themselves on the smaller portion of Fire Island beach that allows drinking in public.
But don't let this hold you back from setting up the beer pong table. Fire Island features many attractive qualities that you can't find elsewhere.
Fire Island enthusiasts love that you can walk barefoot to any of the “pseudo-clubs” on the island since heels are apparently super threatening these days.
They don't allow cars, which is awesome because, barefoot again. They also don't allow share houses with fewer than 20 people, or top shelf anything, or an abundance of good-looking people because, barefoot again guys!
If you rent in Fire Island, it's because you couldn't bear the thought of all your frat bros and girls chipping in for a glorified post-grad weekend without you. Oh, and let's not forget that making out with people you have NO interest in actually making out with is fun, too.
Here are the top 11 things you can do in Fire Island this summer that you can't do anywhere else.
1. See people from your middle school years
Remember the aforementioned sandy area that is the only part of the Fire Island beach that allows public consumption of alcohol? Well, guess who also has a thirst for booze — your long-lost summer-camp bestie and everyone else you grew up with, but haven't seen in several years.
While you're busy figuring out which guy in your house to hook up with, your former bestie will be holding an iPod speaker and screaming about Xanax and how there are no bathrooms at Clegg's.
2. Party with deer in your backyard
You know who else likes vacationing on Fire Island? Bambi and his entire extended family, who aren't shy about freely roaming the island especially at night when you're drunk, can't see them and think it's funny to try and ride them like horses. But just one question: How the heck did they get on there in the first place?
3. Drink rocket fuel
It's kind of like a piña colada with an additional hangover, one part cheap alcohol and two parts amaretto liqueur (which is just as disgusting as it sounds). It tastes like, well, ass, but once you get it down, you'll definitely be getting down.
4. Sleep 20 additional people in your sharehouse
Where else can you and all your friends reenact your carefree college days when 30 of you piled into an eight-person house?
The main reason why Fire Island is so fun is that you're surrounded with all your favorite people, no complicated planning involved. It's like when six of you passed out in one bed on spring break, except this time there's no awkward friendship boners.
5. Make out with people you promised you would never kiss
Blackout-makeouts (or BOMO as we like to call it) used to be a thing of the past (specifically our freshman year when it was cool to wear bandage skirts and run around sucking face with anyone remotely good-looking).
Now, the BOMO has gotten all grown up in Fire Island, where you prove you can still surprise yourself by drunkenly hooking up with that guy from ZBT-turned-JPMorgan whose date party you turned-down sophomore year. What happens in on the island, stays on the island, right?
6. Walk around barefoot
Walking is not only encouraged, it's also mandatory for there are no cars allowed on the island. This certainly makes for an interesting journey home at the end of the night, as you stumble into bushes and completely forget where your house is located. Lucky for you, the most prominent pests to take advantage of you are the oversized mosquitoes.
7. Tan nude
Some beaches in Fire Island allow you to go completely bare, so your bee stings can compliment your bug bites. Don't worry, most people will be paying more attention to the shark sightings than your young guppies.
8. Fresh mozzarella pizza places
These pizza wizards literally take fresh blobs of mozzarella and watch it melt on the wood-fired, tomato-laden pizza crust.
After hours spent dancing drunk off rocket fuel (see #3), this is exactly the late night bite you — and everyone else on the island — is craving. Had a bad interaction while waiting in line to pay? Don't fret, it's not like you'll remember it tomorrow morning.
9. Bar hop
One would assume the no-car-policy really limits you in terms of bar hopping, but au contraire! If one bar is packed with too many of your friends from high school, you can easily walk to the one next door and party with your friends from your high school teen tour, which is like, way better.
10. Ferry to your destination
The ferry ride is actually really fun until you fall down the stairs leading to the lower-level, scrape both knees and have to sign a waiver that you won't sue the company.
All while your parents’ family friends look on in horror and assume you're inappropriately drunk. Not like this has happened before or anything…
11. Pay more money than a weekend in NYC
All in all, it'll cost you your wallet, your dignity and your reputation, but it's totally worth it.
Photo via Favim
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