12 Fights Dysfunctional Families Have That Bring Them Closer Together
The fights happening at the family dinner table are unlike any other fight you’ll experience anywhere else.
You may think that girl fight you witnessed back in college was a sight to be seen, but that pales in comparison to the sh*t that goes down when the entire family comes together.
There are little secrets family members keep between one another, but when the wine starts flowing, the secrets come pouring out.
So what are the funniest, most drastic and all around over-the-top fights you see go down at dinner?
1. The “MA! Why are you giving my kid money?” fight
It’s basically an unwritten rule that grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandchildren. Apparently, in the eyes of the parent, though, there should be a cutoff when the grandchild turns a certain age.
Maybe that’s true in Mom or Dad’s eyes, but grandparents believes in no such deadline — and they’ll keep shoving money under the table (literally) until it’s no longer physically possible.
2. The “Stop picking on your sibling” fight
It doesn’t matter how old you and your siblings are, you will always find something to bicker about.
It could be the dumbest thing in the world or the biggest issue the family’s ever seen, but one thing is for sure — if there’s something to blow out of proportion, you will make sure it is.
3. You “Pierced/tattooed/did f*cking what?” fight
The generation gap will never be more evident than when you do something completely ridiculous your parents can’t wrap their heads around.
Most parents don’t want their children decking themselves out in tattoos or piercings because they’re just not something they’d ever consider doing to themselves.
4. The “Why don’t you come home enough?” fight
The last thing any working person wants to do is hop on public transportation during rush hour to go home for a meal that will inevitably lead to a fight.
When did phone calls and text messages stop being enough? I guess they really weren’t ever enough…
5. The “You told me you’d stop binge drinking when you graduated” fight
I thought it was a good thing to tell my dad it’s not considered alcoholism until after college.
I really f*cked myself over with that line because I don’t really see any change in my drinking behavior. I guess he was right this entire time.
6. The “I am cutting you off from Cable/Netflix/Cell Phone” fight
Isn’t it cheaper if I’m kept on the family plan? If you kick me off, is it even still a family plan? But you watch Netflix too! It only costs $7.99 each month! Are you kicking my brother off too? This is BS!
7. The “WTF is going on with your sibling?” fight
“Your brother or sister has been acting like a complete nutcase as of recently, what the f*ck is going on?”
Just because you’re closer in age to your sibling than your parents are doesn’t always mean you know what’s going through his or her mind.
Chances are when you do find out what’s going on, you’ll side with your parents.
8. The “What would happen if ____?” fight
Because the silence you’re all quietly enjoying isn’t enough, let’s throw some awful hypothetical situations into the mix.
Why are we worrying about issues that have yet to arise? I couldn’t tell you, but it certainly doesn’t stop anyone from bringing them up.
9. The standard “Who’s covering this bill?” fight
This is especially interesting when divorced relatives are sitting around the table. Does one person pay for the entirety of the bill?
Does he have to pay for his ex-wife? Is one person just going to bite the bullet so the fighting is actually avoidable?
No, seriously; I’m asking because I’ve yet to see this go over smoothly…
10. The “Why is everyone picking on me?” fight
Nothing like playing the victim, is there? You can cry, kick and whine all you want — everyone knows no one’s even going to apologize to you at the end of the meal.
Instead, you’re left looking like a fool and you’ll have to apologize to everyone else when the check comes.
11. The “Are you saving money?” fight
Oh, you mean for my summer plans, so I don’t have to take out a loan like last year? Or is this more in the sense of future moving expenses…?
We all know where our priorities lie, unfortunately for us, it’s not usually the same as our parents’.
12. The “Where is your significant other?” fight
As if our presence isn’t enough? Don’t you think he or she had some other commitment to attend? Why are you asking questions you already know the answer to?
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