#Blessed: 15 Reasons To Be Thankful For Your Significant Other (Your iPhone)
So continues the one week of the year in which we're inundated with un-ironic #thankful posts, #blessed table spreads of food and #grateful family photos on our Facebook and Instagram feeds.
The Thanksgiving season fills us with gratitude and reminds us of how truly lucky we are to have certain people and things in our lives.
But, there's one entity for which we can't forget to give thanks.
These beings are there for us every day. We hold them close and feel anxious when they're missing. We pick them up when they fall, and we weep when they're hurt. We never forget to give them energy when they're running low.
They're there for every special occasion, wordlessly capturing each moment on camera. We sleep next to them every night and check on them first thing when we wake up.
We only part with them when they decide to shut down for good and leave this world (or, when we see a new, better version available).
Yes, my little iPhone 4S, I'm talking about you. While our relationship is relatively new, the time we've spent together has been priceless.
It's hard to articulate how much you mean to me, but I will try anyway. Here are all the reasons I'm grateful to have you in my life. Thanks for always being there.
1. You make my subway commute every morning and every afternoon a little more tolerable. Thanks for giving me something to look at and listen to while I avoid eye contact with the guy winking at me and sipping from a paper-bagged 40.
2. You provide me an efficient and simple way to show the people who were mean to me in high school how awesome my life is now. Thank you, Instagram. Your filters ensure I communicate my success, the cool things I'm doing with my life and that I'm generally put together.
(No one needs to see my mess of an apartment or a picture of me eating Chinese and watching One Direction videos on a Friday night, after all.)
3. You allow me to talk and complain to my parents and friends face-to-face, whenever I want. Some stories are too good for just a phone call, and sometimes, my dad needs to hear that weird noise coming from my refrigerator in order to tell me how to fix it. What would I do without you, FaceTime?
4. You might not have the battery life my Pantech Hotshot did, and your back may be cracked, but somehow, you still manage to function. Thanks, Otterbox.
5. You make a walk-of-shame in a fur coat and heels so much more bearable. Uber, you my girl.
6. You're always there to give me a little boost of confidence. Sure, that guy I met at a bar may not have texted me back, but that 27-year-old with the shirtless mirror selfie thinks I'm “gorgeoussssss ;).” Love ya, Tinder.
7. Your autocorrect makes my drunk texts look a little less … drunk? So, thanks for that, I guess. But, I promise, the finance guy who's buying my drinks is not “SO ducking boring.”
8. Your new versions and updates always serve for great conversation starters when I'm at a party, sober and have nothing to say to that one girl from college I wasn't really friends with. For that, I'm so very thankful.
9. You make it a lot less painful when I don't want to “just split the check” with the person who got two cocktails. I asked for the “cheapest glass of wine” for a reason. Seriously, Venmo, you're a lifesaver.
10. Your navigation capabilities are on point. You don't know how painful it is to have a phone without Google Maps until you've walked a mile in the wrong direction, holding up your iPad up to the sky in search of WiFi, only to learn you've been going the wrong way. Walking directions are my everything.
11. How else would I stalk the guy I had an embarrassingly huge crush on during my semester abroad? Thanks for supporting my already-obsessive personality. Truly, all forms of social media are on my phone. Thank you.
12. Without you, I don't know whether I'd ever make it to work on time. Your absolutely horrendous alarm makes sure I'm up at 7:25 am. I also appreciate your flexibility when it comes to those mornings when 7:50 am looks so much more appealing. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
13. You make sure my best friends from college know the exact moment a cute guy writes his number on a napkin and gives it to me. And, when I trip over a ladder right after. I will forever be grateful for y'all, group iMessages.
14. Nothing can compare to your simple ease of capturing a screenshot. There are some misspelled, ungrammatical rants from distant family members on Facebook you can't NOT send to your siblings and your cousins. Screenshots, you're one of the greatest inventions out there.
15. You allow me to express myself perfectly when words fail. Sometimes, all I need is the heart eyes emoji and the eggplant emoji to get my point across. Oh, emoji, you've seriously changed my life. [Insert praying hands and halo emoji.]
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