15 Sad Moments Of Every Single Person’s Life During The Holiday Season
The holiday season is quickly approaching. This means many different things to many different people. For the single folk of the world, this means no bank account plummet in sight.
Also, it means the scene in “The Holiday,” where Cameron Diaz runs into Jude Law’s arms to the tune of some Christmas song, will be on repeat in our minds.
See? Being single is wonderful! During the holidays, one can definitely seem like the loneliest number, but don’t fret; you have options! Here are 15 things single people do during the holiday season:
Friends-giving is a fabulous tradition in which you invite your friends over to bring a dish and celebrate like it’s real Thanksgiving! And why not!?
This is the day you can eat whatever you want without worrying about someone trying to get all up close and personal when you feel like there’s a bowling ball under your sweater.
Not to mention, you don’t have your mom mentioning to your whole family that 1) you’re single, or 2) you look like you have a bowling ball under your sweater. Friends-giving is the potluck of all potlucks and you should eat every type of potato that is offered without fear of condemnation.
2. Listen to Christmas music alone
Chestnuts… roasting… Can you feel it? Listening to Christmas music is just as good as or better than snuggling up with someone who may or may not share your love for it.
So, grab a hot cocoa, light up that mini Christmas tree and listen to those beautiful melodies, you Christmas lover, you.
3. Avoid any and all mistletoe
Nope, not today, mistletoe. No way will Aunt Sally be anymore inclined to mention that I’m nearly an old maid and still single.
Plus, standing under the mistletoe with my third spiked eggnog just doesn’t sound fun. Just say no.
4. Work Out
Inevitably, you will find yourself feeling a little bit plump this winter, and at some point, you will give in and hit the gym. Even if it’s just once.
5. Kiss someone you were not planning to kiss
This just happens. So, just let it happen (unless it’s an ex, then don’t go there). If you think it would be a safer option for you, skip down to number eight. You’re welcome.
Not necessarily alcohol… (but probably). Kahlua goes down pretty damn easily in your Christmas morning coffee, just sayin’.
7. Think about all the money you’re saving (or spending on yourself)
Hello, Black Friday. What’s that? You have come this year just so I can buy presents for myself!? Wonderful. Love you, too.
8. Spend an inordinate amount of time with your family
…But before you do, prepare yourself with number 10. And maybe, number six. Just kidding, Mom.
9. Think about how grateful you are to not spend time trying to impress someone else’s family
We all know that no matter how crazy your own family drives you, impressing someone else’s family is so much worse. You can spill wine on your brand new white sweater at home and not even think twice about it.
10. Come up with a list of reasons you’re still single to tell your family
1. I’m really focused on work.
2. I just haven’t met the right person yet.
3. I am way too busy watching “Gossip Girl” on Netflix right now.
11. Make a Christmas card with your roommates and your cat
Who wants to wear the elf ears? Crap, I just got kitty-scratched in the face!
12. Buy all your Christmas gifts at Bath & Body Works
Because you know your whole family has a favorite Christmas-themed scent, and you’ll be damned if the kitchen doesn’t smell like pine needles this year.
13. Watch romantic Christmas-themed movies just so you can cry
Did I mention “The Holiday” yet? What about “The Family Stone”? “Love Actually”?
14. Watch funny Christmas-themed movies just so you can laugh
Wine and “Christmas Vacation” is the best combination “since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*cking Kaye.” See what I did there?
15. Go see classic Christmas movies with your BFF on Thanksgiving
I can list probably 10-plus movies I have seen on Thanksgiving night. After all, you’ve already had your fill of carbs and naps.
Call up your best gal and go see that awesome movie that always comes out on Thanksgiving every year.
“Tron,” I’m talking to you.
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