19 Struggles You Go Through When You Give Up Your Coffee Addiction
Coffee addiction is all too real, and I’m sure it’s something most people have experienced to some degree.
But did you know caffeine withdrawal is now a recognized disorder, listed in the DSM-5? Yep, seriously — that’s how dependent we’ve all become on our favorite morning pick-me-up.
Coffee may be our favorite high, but coming down is the absolute worst.
Is it sad? Yes. But is it highly accurate? Definitely. I mean, how many mornings begin with a fresh cup of coffee? Or a trip to Starbucks? I’m going to have to say 95 percent of them.
But what happens when you overdo it with your coffee habit and it’s time to make a change? Well, you can expect the following struggles.
1. You look for any alternative you can find.
You’ve officially given up your favorite bad habit, which means you need to find something to substitute it with.
Sometimes these alternatives are healthy and sometimes they’re not, but hey, at least you’ve attempted to kick the habit.
2. You wake up immediately grumpy.
There is no right side of the bed for someone who’s just given up coffee. You wake up exhausted and immediately realize there’s no remedy for your feelings.
What a great way to start your day… not.
3. Tea is not an adequate substitute.
Sure, tea may be healthier for you, but it’s not waking you up quite like your coffee fix did. Whoever said they drink tea because they “like it” was definitely lying.
4. Your eyes don’t fully open until 11 am.
Coffee used to jumpstart your day, but waking up has become a “natural progression.”
Unfortunately, stepping into your office empty-handed doesn’t make you feel ready to take on the day.
5. You’re ready for bed at 5 pm.
You have absolutely no motivation to do anything after work except, well, sleep. And your gym habits went out the window when your coffee regimen did.
6. You start fantasizing about eating coffee beans.
If you aren’t physically drinking coffee, are there other ways to ingest it? Perhaps snorting the beans? Or eating them…?
7. You actually want to eat breakfast.
You never used to understand the appeal of breakfast, but you desperately need something to get you going in the morning — and, at this point, you’ll try anything.
8. You hoard espresso chocolate bars.
If coffee takes form in another shape, is it still coffee? Let’s go with a “no” on that one.
9. You realize you’ve been addicted to a drug for the past 20 years.
The withdrawal symptoms are all too real, and if people try to tell you otherwise, they’ll be getting a backhand to the face.
10. Anytime you hear or see the word Starbucks, you have a panic attack.
The struggle is all too real when you encounter a Starbucks every three blocks.
11. You resent the people next to you who are happily drinking coffee.
That is just bad manners. Don’t they understand the constant struggle you’re going through?
12. You feel like you’ll never be happy again.
It’s as if a Dementor has sucked out your entire soul and left an empty carcass in its place. How are you supposed to live? No seriously, I’m legitimately curious…
13. You feel like everyone around you who’s drinking coffee is doing it to piss you off.
Are people just trying to f*ck with you? They should drink their coffee before appearing in your presence.
14. You really romanticize the whole experience.
You know how detrimental your coffee habit was, but you can’t seem to shake that romantic, lovable feeling. As you dabble with your new lifestyle, it’s difficult not to miss the days of heavy coffee intake.
15. You miss your barista like hell.
You didn’t think your addiction was that bad until you realized you were missing another personal connection… your barista. Those morning pep talks and messages written on your cup are now sadly a thing of the past.
Maybe one day you will reunite, but, at this rate, it won’t be anytime soon.
16. Your bathroom schedule is completely out of whack.
The only thing that got you on some sort of schedule was your aggressive coffee habit. Now you’re just f*cked.
17. The withdrawal is mind-blowing.
Who knew something so legal could have such intense repercussions? If you had known this, you probably wouldn’t have given up coffee in the first place.
18. You realize you’re a pretty big assh*le.
Without coffee, your tolerance for people has gone out the window. You used to be able to just brush stupidity and ignorance off, but now all it does is ignite a flame inside you.
19. You pick up other terrible habits.
Between cigarettes and energy drinks, you don’t know which new vice is worse for you. I guess it’s time to go back to coffee, right? RIGHT?! Right.
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