The gym is supposed to be a place where you can go and relieve all of the day’s tension. It gives you a break from your own thoughts and an escape from the real world. It’s a great place to be… until it’s not.
The people who infiltrate this space can either be great or your worst nightmare and, unfortunately, when the latter is the case, it becomes your personal hell.
Who are the worst people you encounter while getting your work out on? Well, here you go…
1. The girl with a full face of makeup on
I have one question and one question only: WHY?! Who the hell are you trying to impress at the gym? Newsflash: Gym-goers are too focused on themselves to worry about whether you have blush on or not.
Also, you’re going to be sweating, or at least you should be, so all that makeup is just a waste. Not to mention that sweating while wearing makeup causes breakouts — and that isn’t a good look for anyone.
2. The guy who clearly can’t lift that much, but tries anyway
To the guy trying to do shoulders with 70 pound free weights… you aren’t fooling anyone. You can barely finish three reps, let alone a full set, so I’m not really sure what you’re trying to prove or whom you’re trying to prove it to.
Get the F off the bench and give it to me. At least I’m secure in the fact I can only use 10 pounds.
3. The person who texts in between sets
I get it. You have ADD and don’t know how else to occupy yourself for the 30 seconds in between your sets, but c’mon, you are just pissing everyone else off.
There is usually only one lat pull down machine and you checking your Instagram feed is not a socially acceptable way to rest in between sets. Someone is going to yell at you — and it’ll probably be me.
4. Personal trainers
Sir, I am clearly a young 20-something; what do you think my job could possibly be that would allow me to afford your services? I can barely afford this gym membership as it is, do you really think I’m going to splurge on training sessions?
I AM BROKE, leave me alone and if I ever do change my mind, I will come over to you. So, until then, leave me the F alone.
5. The over-achiever
Hey! You over there! Thanks for making me feel so terrible about myself, as I clutch onto the sides of the treadmill for dear life.
I see you… hitting the leg machines, the ab mat, the free weights and the cardio machines all in one day. I get it. You’re super human, but, please, it’s hard enough to get here as it is… seeing you just depresses me.
6. The addict
You got here before me… and you’re still here when I’m about to leave. You’ve been on the elliptical for literally two hours… how is that even enjoyable at all? Aren’t you tired? Bored? Hungry?
You must spend the majority of your life at the gym, do you get anxious when you have to (God forbid!) skip a day?
7. The know-it-all
Excuse me, did I ask for your advice? Let me do my crunches the way I feel like doing them. The last time I checked, you weren’t a trainer or even an employee at this gym.
You are just a regular person like me. Take your #FitFam attitude and advice, and get the hell away from me.
8. The person who tries to speak to you while your headphones are in
Why anyone thinks a person wearing headphones wants to have a conversation is utterly beyond me. I can’t hear jack sh*t when my headphones are in, and now you’re tapping me on the shoulder to speak.
Do I even know you? What do you want? Ugh, hold on while I open Spotify to pause my music… Idiots. I, literally, came to the gym to AVOID people, why would you think I want to carry on a conversation with you?
9. The person taking seflies
First off: No one should ever look selfie-worthy at the gym. NO ONE. This may bring us back to point #1, but it’s something I feel very strongly about.
If your appearance is what you are most concerned about at the gym, you really need to shift your priorities and maybe seek the help of a therapist.
10. The couple
Why would you ever want to work out with your significant other? Isn’t going to the gym a great excuse to get some space from your partner?
Maybe this attitude is why I’m single, but I don’t give a sh*t because the last thing I want to hear at the gym is constant nagging.
11. The person who goes just to stretch
Why would you ever spend your hard-earned money to do something that you could simply do on your bedroom floor? Also: You are taking valuable space up on the ab mat, move the F over and let me crunch away.
12. The person who forgets to wear clothes
The day I feel confident enough to rock only a sports bra and spandex shorts is the day I choose not to go to the gym anymore.
Also, for some reason, the people who need to wear clothes the most in the gym are those who choose not to do so. I applaud your confidence, but I’m going to continue and sweat through my t-shirt.
13. The person who is only going to rock her new Lululemon
Did you just need an excuse to drop $88 on a pair of leggings? Shaking my head…
14. The person who forgot to wear deodorant for a year
Of course you’re going to sweat at the gym, why would you think not wearing deodorant was even an option?
Please take into consideration the 100 other people around you who are forced to inhale your terrible odor. And to those ladies who spray perfume before working out: STOP.
15. Creepy guys who just exercise in the back to watch girls
Do you think you’re being subtle while you walk at 2.0 MPH on the treadmill that just happens to be directly behind the stair master? Everyone around you is well aware of what you are doing…
16. Old people who get naked in the locker room
For the sake of everyone’s else’s eyesight, just use the stall. I know the locker room is supposed to be this safe place to feel comfortable, but I hate to break it to you, there are some restrictions and this is definitely one of them.
17. The person who doesn’t wipe off his sweat from machines
Oh, yes, I really can’t wait to use the abduction machine now that your grimy body left an outline of your sweaty back.
Seriously, thank you for ignoring the paper towels that are right next to the machine for this purpose. At least get a towel before you sit down to use it, sheesh.
18. The person who only goes January 1st-7th
This person does the same thing every single year without fail: makes a New Year’s resolution to get in shape and gives up after a week.
For everyone else who exercises regularly, this is the worst time of the year because gyms are filled with people who stop short every two feet because they don’t know where anything is. Worse, they crowd the gym classes you have been attending for the past five months.
19. The person in a class who takes up enough space for three people
Move over! The class is over capacity, you don’t get a 5-foot radius around yourself. We all are struggling together, so suck it up and show some manners.
20. The moaner/grunter/noise maker
We understand you’re working out, but there’s no reason the noises coming out of you resemble a terribly made porno. Maybe you should lower your weight a little bit if it’s that f*cking difficult for you.
21. The socializer
Why don’t you just go to a bar? Or your living room? Or anywhere else besides the one place people are trying to escape from their thoughts?
All you are doing is taking up machines that people who actually want to exercise are using. Also a big F you to the girl who just lies on the ab mat, scrolling through her Instagram feed.