The 50 Best Bongs Of All Time
The wheel, the abacus, Gutenberg’s printer moveable type, the light bulb, conditional logic, ARPA-Net…the list of inventions that turn the tides in a global fashion is staggering, yet they all have one thing in common no matter how obscure: every one benefited from their presence. And us here at Elite realize stoners are no different in this mass social group than anyone else. Bongs are undoubtedly one of those revolutionary devices that comprehensively transformed the way people get high.
Sure some zigzags, perhaps a dutch here or there can get the job done, but there exists a certain veneration and respect that the bong elicits when used during even the most casual of ciphers. When used it is handled with the utmost care, as fine China, or silver being polished; when idle, it is proudly displayed, like a polished David, or an elegant candle stand of latticed Gold, in the center of the table next to the empty Arizona iced tea cans and Kit-Kat wrappers.
The power of the bong is not to be underestimated, as it is ingeniously engineered to increase the power from your draws of THC packed smoke. In layman’s terms: you will feel super-crazy-high. Bongs are a beautiful thing, as there are so many designs, sizes, shapes and additional add-on pieces available to be chosen that make yours unique, catered to your specific taste and style.
Each one stands to tell a story, not only of its owner who designed it to his predilection, but of old times and new; it stands as a testament to time spent together, and the memories that flow from its presence will undoubtedly be cherished as you toke up once more.
Here are the 50 best bongs of all time.
50. Squidward’s Clarinet Bong
Now we know why Squidward was always trying to get some alone time to “practice” his clarinet. It wouldn’t surprise me if everyone in Bikini Bottom was a stoner.
49. The Reefer Skull Bong
This is a badass bong. It doesn’t even matter that it’s pink. If you take a hit from this, you’ll likely feel a lot like the skeleton dude himself. Dead.
48. The Meth Chemist Bong
Want to totally creep out all of your friends and get ridiculously blazed at the same time? Take a hit from this and you’ll probably just pass out with the mask still on.
47. The Icy Freeze Bong
You better hurry up and hit this shit before it melts.
46. The Shotgun Bong
Definitely one of the coolest bongs we’ve seen in a while. Imagine wielding this around and showing your new toy to all of your pothead friends. You will surely be the talk of the town.
45. The Pokebong
Gotta catch ‘em all. Every 90’s kid’s dream would probably be to hit this bong. Next would be to bang Misty.
44. The Tommy Gun Bong
This bong is truly a work of art. You’ll feel like a straight mobster from the 50’s after you hit this. A very high and full mobster.
43. The Buddha Belly Bong
No wonder why Buddha was so jolly all the time. If you were always baked eating Chinese food with no shirt on you would be happy too!
42. The Swiss Cheese Bong
Now talk about an idea. Fusing a bong and a most delicious cheese into one perfect smoking device. This one is best smoked with Cheez-Itz.
41. The Protein Bong
Talk about an oxymoron. Sure, you’ve made an excellent smoking device out of a protein mix bottle. But the chances of you working out after hitting this are slim to cheetos.
40. Spongebob’s Pineapple Bong
Spongebob is one of the greatest cartoon characters of all time. So it is only right that you honor him by smoking this pineapple bong to commemorate his square pants greatness.
39. The Gold Label Bong
Now talk about classy. What do you get when you mix some Johnny Walker Gold Label and some buddha? A very hungry man.
38. The Light Saber Bong
This is truly ingenious. Star Wars, one of the greatest stoner movies of all time, can be re-lived by hitting this awesome light saber bong. You will surely be High Solo after ripping this one.
37. The Boba Fett Bong
This just looks expensive. I don’t even know if I would hit this one in fear of breaking it. Wait, no I take that back I would definitely still smoke it.
36. The Swirly Bong
I always wondered what it would look like if I made a bong out of those experiment glasses in science class.
35. The Voss Bong
It never ceases to amaze me how crafty and inventive stoners are. Here we are with some typical household items that have been transformed into a glorious bong. Go America.
34. The Pakalolo Pipe
Now this is leisure. Who wouldn’t want to hit this pipe on a beach in Hawaii while eating some spam musubi and lau lau. Mahalo.
33. The Area 51 Bong
This bong is super gnarly. Just imagine hitting this, walking away and coming back to find the alien fetus missing. Stoner scary movie!
32. The Bicardi Bong
Nothing says party like Bicardi 151 and bong tokes. However it also says puke.
31. The Octo Bong
Cool, but I wish it was fried and there was hot sauce.
30. The Zong
This bong is totally rad. Zong makes some of the coolest looking bingers in the game.
29. The Grey Goose Bong
Sophistication at its finest. Super high and super drunk.
28. Alice’s Mushroom Bong
This is great craftsmanship. I would love to smoke this in a forest. But after I would be totally freaked out that I am in a forest.
27. The iPad Bong
This was Steve Jobs’ master plan. For us to smoke out of his shit.
26. The Water Cooler Bong
Now this looks intense. I think its safe to say that after hitting this you will be bed-ridden as if you are suffering from the black plague. The only cure for the sickness would be white cheddar popcorn, water and Netflix.
25. The Toking Alien Dude Bong Slide
Feeling lonely? You won’t anymore when your smoking with this totally awesome alien dude on your bong.
24. The Starbusrt Pipe
Wow!!! This is truly some amazing stuff people. I thought Starbursts were just the shortest lasting gum ever, but not so! You can smoke weed out of it too!
23. The Pineapple Express Bong
Great artwork on this bong turns this bong from a 2 to a 10. I think I’m going to get this for my next tattoo.
22. The Mr. Potato Pothead Bong
Mr. Potato head always seemed like a square. But not Mr. Potato Pothead!
21. The Champion’s Bong
This bong is just glorious in every way. However I’m sure it broke shortly after this photo was taken.
20. The Hidden Tiger Toking Dragon Bong
You won’t find this bong in Chinatown. Will you? I don’t know, I never checked. This is probably what Chris Tucker was hitting in between takes of filming Rush Hour. Come on, Lee!
19. The Mushroom Tip Bong (Pause)
18. The Smart Water Tower Bong
I always wondered why Smart Water bottles were so long. (pause) They want us to attach them together and make bongs out of them! Yay!
17. The Icee Bong
This guys is going to wish he had that real Icee after he hits this.
16. The Candy Cain Bong
Celebrate Christmas in style with this awesome bong.
15. The Watching Eye Bubbler
Take a hit from this. But remember, they’re watching you bro.
14. The Native American Peace Pipe
Imagine smoking one of these with a real Native American. Has anyone actually ever seen a real Native American?
13. Mario & Luigi’s Bong Of Fun
How awesome would it be to hit this then play Mario Brothers? That’s right, very awesome.
12. The Kill Yo Self Pipe
This is the smoking device most likely to get you killed by the police. So smoke this at home. While watching police movies. Take that world.
11. The Red Eyed Dragon Bong
Talk about taking a puff of the red dragon. Next I would like to see forklifts lifting actual forks please.
10. The Blowin’ O’s Bong
Awesome design and awesome bong. Yeah that dude is gonna be super high after hitting this one.
9. The Lego Bong
I’m buying Lego’s first thing tomorrow.
8. Dr. Seuss’ Stoned In The Hat Bong
Imagine smoking this one then reading Dr. Seuss’ Cat In The Hat after. Just kidding there’s no way I’m reading after I smoke. Unless its a Chinese food menu.
7. The Smoke My Foot Pipe
Now this is some crackhead shit. But I would be lying if I told you I wouldn’t hit it though.
6. The Mr. Mustachio Pipe
Wow. Once again stoners are on the cutting edge of technology. Hit one of these and you will surely bear a striking resemblance to one of the members of the Rat Pack.
5. The Stoner Anatomy Bong
This is a beautiful design. Intricate craftsmanship makes this bong one of the most awesome of all time. This belongs in the 4/20 museum.
4. The Catch A Grenade And Get Stoned Bong
Talk about detonating. Your brain! Looks like a lot of bud can fit in that awesome grenade bowl!
3. The Nintendo-64 Master Pipe
This kid is the swag champ.
2. The Honey Bear Bong
This is truly one of the classiest bongs of all time. I think the Honey Bear is going to have to change to Smokey Bear after this one!
1. The Roor
The Roor is undoubtedly the godfather of all bongs. Just look at it in all of its glory. With multiple percs it certainly will pack a punch that will put you on your ass for the entire 4/20 weekend.
Top Photo Credit: Getty Images