8 Common Misconceptions Of Bisexuality That Need To Be Gone
People who identify as bisexual may seem twice as likely to be pursued by someone awesome, fall in love and live happily ever after, but in reality, it means twice as many mismatches to sift through in the dating game.
Women and men can be equal opportunity jerks and nothing can save you from heartache if you're not with the right person.
Most people don't understand the intricacies of being of sexually fluid; if they did, we wouldn't be cast off to the side like a matchless sock, or worse, heralded as a sex accessory.
Allow me to break down some of the common misconceptions of being bisexual: Just because I'm bisexual…
Doesn't mean I'm confused.
I'm not confused. I know that sometimes my heart gets all fluttery when I meet an awesome woman and sometimes I feel like jumping on some of the dudes I see in the weight room at the gym.
There is no confusion when it comes to whom your body reacts sexually or to whom your heart reacts emotionally.
It happens and there is nothing you can do about it; my body isn't confused and neither am I.
Doesn't mean I'll be attracted to your wife or girlfriend.
I meet plenty of men who will be attracted to me while they have a significant other, and upon learning more about me will decide that I would be the perfect accessory to their relationship.
Well, yes, I do like dating couples sometimes, but no, I am not going to be automatically attracted to your wife just because you want me to be.
Doesn't mean I sleep around.
As open and kinky as I claim to be, it's mostly in my mind. I rarely date and generally average about four sexual interactions per year. Yes, even though I have twice the number of people to choose from to enjoy sexual bliss with, I don't take advantage of it.
I'm at an age where I have to respect the person to allow him or her to touch me. Go figure!
Doesn't mean I run from one gender to the other when I am hurt.
I've had too many conversations with men who believe that I was hurt by a man and that is why I like women. Yes, I have been hurt in past relationships, but who hasn't?
I have been hurt by women I've dated, too. My attraction to women and men is a natural, physical and emotional reaction and not a method of protection against potential pain. Being attracted to both sexes is not a good way to hide from emotional pain; it actually increases your chances of experiencing it.
Doesn't mean I'm a side item.
Sure, it seems to be a popular fantasy for a man to have more than one woman, but the reality is men seem to believe bisexual women are a side item and not the main course.
I sometimes feel as though I am “one of the guys” who also happens to be cute, and guys want to hook up with me while they wait for the real thing.
Doesn't mean I'm not really “gay.”
Once when I was standing outside of a gay bar, I was confronted by a woman who demanded that I choose sides because, according to her, there is no such thing as being bisexual.
To whom my body and heart react tells me otherwise. Even within the LGBT community, it seems as though being bi doesn't count, especially when you find your match with someone of the opposite sex.
Doesn't mean I'm attracted to every person I see.
If you won't buy every shoe at the shoe store, why do you expect me to want to date every person I see? When hanging out in groups of people who know I am fluid sexually, they try to point out random people as though the mere sight of someone is enough to make me pant with lust.
Bisexuality is not synonymous with hound dog.
Doesn't mean I'm going to cheat on my partner.
I can be monogamous if I want to be, and I can be a good match for the right person. Although the right person for me wouldn't demand my fidelity, if I met a match who recognized my value and appreciated my quirks, I would be so elated that I probably would not look anywhere else.
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