Lifestyle

Ain't No Holla Back Girl

by Kayla Inglima
Stocksy

The holler. A practice maybe as old as man himself. Why is it that certain men feel that it’s okay to verbally harass attractive females? Maybe it could be tracked back to animal instincts, but we’ve shaken off most of our primitive behaviors over the last few thousand years, so why has this one stuck?

“Hollering” can be defined as any advance on a woman from a man she doesn’t know without being interested. Think, an attractive woman walking by a construction site -- no doubt that some form of hollering will occur there. These unwanted advancements are on the lower end annoying, and on the higher end completely disgusting and offensive.

There are many types of “hollers.” There is the standard “street holler,” when a woman is walking down the street and some guy tries to either tell her she is beautiful or use some sort of verbal interjection.

He may be old, young, rich, poor and smelly, behind the wheel of a work truck or a Mercedes-Benz. Despite who this dude is, it’s the act of taking an unknown woman and placing her in the category of a cheeseburger, a beer or a bag of money -- that’s ridiculous. Just because you “want” something, or someone, doesn’t give you the right to act like a complete douchebag about it. My question is what would they actually do if one day this beautiful woman walking down the street said “Hi, how are you? What’s your name?” In my opinion they wouldn’t do sh*t.

Half of the fun for these creeps is making the woman feel uncomfortable. It’s almost like a power trip. They know that by undressing them with their eyes and making lewd remarks, they are making her uncomfortable and essentially dominating her with their presence. However, if the girl were to stand up for herself and actually confront the man hollering at her, he would probably be rendered completely defenseless.

In addition to the street holler, there is the social media holler. This “holler” has really gained momentum through the advancements in technology and social media. It can range anywhere from a Facebook message of “Yo shawty” to an Instagram comment of “Damn girl, have we met somewhere before? You are sexy as hell.”

These are just another form of unsolicited flattery, this time in virtual form. Hollers over social media are easier to ignore, and don’t bring the same uncomfortable feelings as the street holler, but are nonetheless annoying and unwarranted.

Finally, not to be forgotten, the nightlife/bar holler. You may think that in the fun, lively atmosphere of a bar this holler-type might not be so annoying. No. This might be the worst of all. Why? Because in a bar or a nightclub, the victim is in her comfort zone -- this is her excitement and happiness, this is going out with her friends and letting loose.

Minding her own business, just trying to have a good time, the nightlife holler-er comes out of nowhere and turns her favorite drinking spot into Defcon 1. Shaking a holler-er at a bar is worse than on the street or online because it’s pretty much impossible to ignore.

The bottom line is that women are not pieces of meat, or more appropriately, males need to remember they are not hyenas gawking at prey. We live in a world where men and women are, or should be, treated as equals. I mean how would a guy feel if he were at a basketball court and some girl walked by and yelled, “YO BOY, I LIKE YO’ DICK.” He would probably laugh it off, but if it were truly creepy he would probably get uncomfortable and pissed off.

That is what it's like for girls when they are bombarded by these ridiculous attempts at flattery. Men need to realize that if they want to actually impress and flatter a girl, doing it in a way that shows they actually see her as a human being is the only way. It is time to leave the “holler” for rap songs, because only in a fictional world will hollering at a girl garner the results you are looking for.

Kayla Inglima | Elite.