29 Brilliant Responses For When Someone Asks You Why You’re Still Single
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As we single ladies head into any social gathering, we know someone will inevitably ask that dreaded question, one most despised by all singletons:
Why are you still single?
While it’s amazing that people still think it’s appropriate to ask this question, there nonetheless will always be that one aunt, uncle, coworker or friend who awkwardly comes up to you at the holiday party, forgets you are a human with human feelings and dares utter those five fateful words.
They may follow it up with a flaccid, “Because you’re just sooooOOOoOOOoo great.” But that doesn’t make it any better. It doesn’t make it sting any less.
The scarlet letter associated with being alone is so glaring it might as well be tattooed on your forehead. It is EVERYWHERE. All your accomplishments are null and void if he didn’t put a ring on it, right?!?!
Meanwhile, we all know being single is awesome. You’re free to do whatever and go wherever you want. You have no ties or responsibilities; you can live your best life without the approval of anyone but YOURSELF.
So, the next time someone makes an encounter awkward and unbearable by asking you why you’re still single (BECAUSE YOU’RE SOOOooOOOoOOOOOOOOO GREAT!!!) just respond with one of these brilliant rebuttals.
1. I’m focusing on my career because it’s 2016 and that’s what people do now. Pass the salt?
Boyfriends are so 2015.
2. I’m just not into settling. We don’t all find “Mr. Right” in high school.
This is a super great one for that cousin who got married at twenty-one to her once-star-quarterback-now-turned-gas-station-attendant husband. Take that, Julie!
3. Weddings are expensive, and I have expensive tastes in vacations, clothes and footwear.
You’re footing your own bankroll, duh.
4. Yeah, it’s terrible dating any hot guy I want.
Thanks for asking.
5. I don’t need a boyfriend to prove that I’m worth something.
You’re killing it in every aspect of your life. Why would you need a partner to show that?
6. Why don’t we talk about my job promotion instead?
Why is it that without a boyfriend nothing else seems to matter?
7. I’d rather have a significant income than a significant other.
8. I’m fabulous, and I haven’t found anyone equally as fabulous, that’s why.
You’re really just telling it like it is.
9. I’m in a passionate love affair with myself.
It’s a party of one, and that’s the only party you’re after.
10. As Cher Horowitz says, “You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet.”
You’re saving yourself for Luke Perry.
11. I’m not single. I’m married to food.
12. I don’t know. Why are you still married?
If they wanna ask the hard questions, you go ahead and ask them RIGHT BACK, girl.
13. My dad didn’t have enough sheep and wheat for my dowry.
No man shall ever marry ye!
14. So far, every guy I’ve met has been unimpressive.
This is best delivered completely deadpan.
15. Well, it’s likely because I haven’t found the right person yet.
You go, awkward turtle, you go!
16. I offend all of my boyfriends. *Smiles*
Your older relatives won’t even get it, but you will.
17. I still haven’t met a man who is as good as prime rib tastes.
And prime rib is expensive, too.
18. Single is the new black.
You’re just being trendy.
19. Prince William is already taken.
This response has worked since you were eight. Tried and true.
20. I can’t commit to a dinner reservation, let alone another human being.
It’s about priorities. Obviously.
21. No one is good enough for me.
Try this one when you run into your high school boyfriend at the drugstore, over the holidays, while buying a Netty Pot for your mom. Just kidding. Do not.
22. My arranged marriage is just around the corner.
Again, deadpan here will go far.
23. I’m very busy focusing on myself and do not have a single minute to devote to someone else.
Straightforward and to the point.
24. Why settle for one boyfriend when I can have seven?
*Holds for applause* *High-fives nearest person*
25. My shows are far more interesting than any date I’ve been on.
I mean have you seen the lead actor from “Outlander?” Yeah.
26. Honestly, being single is really fun.
*Waits for family member to faint* *Laughs*
27. I’m more into the title of CEO than Wife.
28. I’m dating myself — why would I need a man?
29. I’m pretty certain I’m “The One.” So, there’s that.
YAS! YAS! YAS!
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