Lifestyle

Confrontational People Get Sh*t Done, Passive Aggressive People Get Sh*t On

by Alexia LaFata
HBO

There are two ways to navigate through life: confront it head on or tiptoe around it.

And no, I'm not talking about the good stuff because it honestly doesn't matter how you navigate through any of that.

Navigating through good things doesn't build character.

I'm talking about the setbacks. The conflicts. The problems. The unpleasantness. Because the way we address the negativity in our lives says a lot about who we are and the kind of people we will eventually become.

It's no secret that life isn't rainbows and butterflies.

Sometimes, sh*t happens, and we're left wondering how to deal with the plethora of nonsense that comes our way.

Well, wonder no longer -- there's only one way to do it, and that's to be confrontational.

Confrontational people resolve conflicts; passive aggressive people cause them.

When confrontational people directly confront a problem, they expedite the process of resolving it.

They talk it out, communicate their feelings about the situation and come to a solution that satisfies everyone involved.

The problem immediately gets fixed and neatly tied together with a bow.

But passive aggressive people operate by not operating at all.

Passive aggressive people don't ever face a problem, which delays any potential for progress and keeps everyone involved stuck in their state of anger, sadness, apprehension -- including themselves.

They don't give anyone the chance to express an opinion on the issue, so it just ends up festering beneath the surface until it bursts into an additional, even bigger problem.

Confrontational people value honesty; passive aggressive people bend the truth.

Confrontational people know if they're going to really confront a problem efficiently, they can't lie; they have to go all in, which means they have to value deep, thorough honesty. They have to be purveyors of truth.

They know lying just means they're talking about a fake issue, and all this does is waste time that could have been spent talking about the real issue.

Passive aggressive people don't understand this because they don't confront problems at all, ever.

In this way, when they don't acknowledge a problem exists, passive aggressive people basically say it does not exist.

It's as if they lie by omission: Sure, they don't actually tell lies, but they don't actually tell the truth, either.

Confrontational people tell you what's on their mind; passive aggressive people expect you to read their mind.

Confrontational people are admired and respected because they tell it like it is.

They're clear and succinct in their requests, straightforward and unambiguous in their desires.

They don't expect others to just know what's up because they're here to tell everyone what's up.

Nobody will ever second-guess what a confrontational person wants.

On the other hand, passive aggressive people leave everyone guessing. And not in the mysterious, aloof way, either, but in the annoying, what-the-f*ck-is-going-on kind of way.

Nobody likes to assume things. We all know the old dad joke of a saying of what happens when you assume.

Confrontational people ask for what they want; passive aggressive people don't ask and don't receive.

Because confrontational people are unafraid to ask for what they want, they get it.

Or, at the very least, they have a significantly higher chance of getting it than passive aggressive people who don't ask for anything and just expect things to magically appear in front of them.

Life doesn't just happenyou have to make it happen. Confrontational people know that. Meanwhile, passive aggressive people are still waiting for permission to make anything happen.

Confrontational people make you feel at ease; passive aggressive people make you feel on edge.

This may sound counterintuitive, but it's always more relaxing to work with confrontational people because you'll always know where you stand with them.

If they have a problem with you, they're not going to hesitate to say it to your face -- which means if they're not giving you sh*t, you're in the clear.

With passive aggressive people, you have no clue how they're feeling about you because they never say anything that's on their minds.

They could secretly hate you or still be mad at that thing you did last week you didn't even realize you did, and you'd never know.

Because of all of this, you're constantly walking on eggshells with them and wondering what you did wrong, if you did anything wrong. It's stressful.

Confrontational people say things to your face; passive aggressive people only know your back.

The worst part about the fact that passive aggressive people don't say anything to your face is they're probably saying it behind your back. They're venting to everyone who isn't you.

Little do they know, however, there's nothing people love more than gossip, and that sh*t gets around.

What passive aggressive people forget is the people to whom they swore to secrecy will vent to other people to whom they will swear to secrecy.

And then those people will vent to other people, and more secrecies will be sworn, and soon, everyone will know the problem, but everyone will be sworn to secrecy, so nobody can talk about it.

It's just... bad. This is bad.

Confrontational people are sure of themselves; passive aggressive people question themselves.

Confrontational people are fearless. They don't let anyone hold them back from doing exactly what they want to do, exactly when they want to do it.

And it's all because they're confident in their ability to take control of their lives.

Passive aggressive people live their lives in fear. People hold them back because they aren't self-assured enough to take action, so they let people hold them back.

It's for these reasons passive aggressive people will continue to live life, well, passively.