54 Sick And Twisted Things You Would Rather Do Than Go To Work
There are some days when the last thing you want to do is head into the office.
It’s become routine by now, and anything that would cause a hiccup in your day is strangely welcome.
Going into the same place, day in and day out, gets repetitive, which is why it’s such a drag come the sound of that morning alarm.
We wish we could just take a month-long vacation to get our lives in order before going back to our 9-5, but sadly, this is adulthood and that is far from an option.
Sure, some of these things may sound like an exaggeration, but on those dreary mornings, these are definitely some of the other things we’d rather do than have to go to work.
1. Get cheated on.
2. Watch your ex-boyfriend have sex with his new girlfriend.
3. Get a Brazilian wax.
4. Get stuck in stand-still traffic for over an hour within 5 miles of your destination.
6. Clean your room.
7. Clean your bathroom.
8. Clean your roommate’s bathroom, including the toilet.
9. Get an unnecessary colonoscopy.
10. Spend 45 minutes on the phone with your grandmother.
11. Get caught in a torrential downpour without an umbrella.
12. Go to a shopping mall the day before Christmas and deal with the crowds.
13. Watch the ball drop in Time’s Square on New Year’s Eve.
14. Lose $100.
15. Get pick-pocketed.
16. Lose your monthly subway card.
17. Gain 15 pounds.
18. Go to the wrong airport and miss your flight by less than five minutes and have to sit in the airport for six hours until the next available flight.
19. Take Barry’s bootcamp with a massive hangover.
20. Wait on a two-hour airport security line during the holidays.
21. Go to Whole Foods on a Sunday.
22. Throw up on your crush — Cady Heron style.
23. Only eat Kalteen bars for a year.
24. Get your period during sex with a guy you really like… sober.
25. Be on an all-liquid diet for a year straight.
26. Be kicked off the family cell phone plan.
27. Never be able to eat pizza again.
28. Total your car.
29. Get kicked off the family insurance plan.
30. Get three root canals in one day… without novocaine.
21. Get your wisdom teeth pulled.
32. Take a freezing cold shower.
33. Check your bank account on a Monday morning.
34. Go back to college to study.
35. Take the LSATs.
36. Take a three-hour long spin class.
37. Eat kale chips.
38. Kick a bee’s nest.
39. Have constant halitosis.
40. Be the girl in the first “Taken” movie.
41. Lose your entire wallet…
42. And your keys.
43. Run into your ex with his new girlfriend.
44. Pull a Mase and lose 1.9 million Instagram followers.
45. Never get over 10 likes on an Instagram post ever again.
46. Get a year ban from Gchat.
47. Third wheel your friend and her boyfriend who firmly believe in PDA.
48. Not wear makeup when you go out.
49. Delete all of your social media accounts.
50. Accidentally like your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend’s Instagram picture from 72 weeks ago.
51. Run into someone you know while doing the walk of shame.
52. Walk of shame over a mile in high heels and a dress when it’s below 40 degrees outside.
53. Accidentally get pregnant…
54. And actually have to raise it.
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