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Why Not Having Someone To Go With Shouldn’t Mean Not Going At All

Social media has introduced us to a world of photos, check-ins and tags that enable us to share our experiences, not only with those with us at the time, but every follower we have, too.

This can give the illusion that we, or others, are surrounded by friends in our every endeavor and every person is always up for going out and having a good time.

Real life, however, can be a little bit lonelier, as everyone is either busy with their own stuff, keeping up with packed schedules or are just exploring different hobbies.

Have you ever wanted to go somewhere, but because none of your friends were going, you passed up the opportunity? I'd hazard a guess and say it's probably happened once or twice before.

Maybe it was a gig or going to a new film or just going out for a coffee, but there’s often a long list of things that we want to do.

While it's definitely great to enjoy these things with people, they may not always be ready to go. And, if it's a case where no one is available, is it weird to go anyway?

Going out alone can be an uncomfortable into which to venture, especially if you're self-conscious and sensitive to that constant contemplation of “what others might think.”

Wherever you go though, you are always there. You are your own company, so it's a helpful idea to get comfortable being with just yourself.

I swear, developing a relationship with yourself isn’t just a nice way of saying, “I have no friends,” but a key part to becoming at ease within your own company, and increasing your independence and security about who you are without external validation.

This is something I started looking into because sometimes, circumstances dictate that people won't always be there to accompany us. With a recently-acquired zest for life, I've found that I won’t miss out, just because I don't always have a plus one.

I want to get out there and get involved. I want to experience music, poetry and film whenever I can grab the chance. Even if you're just branching out into a new interest that you haven't managed to convince anyone else to try, it's worth pursuing, regardless of whether or not you’re doing it alone.

Life is full of opportunities. We deprive ourselves of so many experiences is we use the excuse of having no one to go with.

So, silence the thought of “what will people think?”

Initially, going places on your own can be challenging. Not only is it much easier to cancel on your potential plans, but it can also leave us feeling pretty vulnerable if we suck it up and go, despite being so self-conscious.

Suddenly, the crowded room is full of couples or established groups, and it can feel like everyone is wondering who the loner in the corner is.

I won’t lie; it can feel awkward. And, I won’t act like I never felt like that. But, after that initial inferior feeling, I stood a little taller and figured that if anyone was looking my way, he or she was missing the show.

If people feel bad for me, they must not have done this before. If they're embarrassed on my behalf, they're the only ones feeling that.

When we embrace feeling vulnerable, it makes us more open to connecting and being real with people.

Anything to which I have gone on my own was because I genuinely desired to go and see something, and I could experience it completely because that's all I was there to do. Besides, if you're going with the wrong person, you can end up feeling just as alone anyway.

I've found that if it's a show for your favorite band, comedian or whatever, you already share a common interest with everyone there.

You're a significant part of something, and you're contributing an energy to the room. If you weren't there, not only would you have missed out, but the room would have been different, too.

Plus, it's not like you can't meet people there as well. Whether they're there with others or alone, too, you already have a common interest that could kick-start the conversation.

It's worth trying out and embracing the events that you actually want to enjoy. Exploring places alone means you can simply follow your gut and just go with it. Getting to know yourself better along the way and strengthening your interests while you're at it isn’t so bad, either.

For me, it has built up my own inner security. It has provided another option that allows me to go to whatever I want and enjoy things I would have otherwise missed out on doing.

It has opened the door to me discovering what's out there and then grabbing it with both my hands.

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Yvonne Doherty

Contributor

21 year old Yvonne is from Dublin, Ireland. She began writing early, mainly aspiring novels about 5 pages long and written in pencil, but is hoping to progress this into articles that actually mean something. Right now it's her time for finding ...
21 year old Yvonne is from Dublin, Ireland. She began writing early, mainly aspiring novels about 5 pages long and written in pencil, but is hoping to progress this into articles that actually mean something. Right now it's her time for finding ...

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