17 Reasons Why Going To A Party School Prepares You For The Real World
Going to a party school should be something you can brag about on your resume.
Before you completely disregard this statement, just try and keep an open mind. The environment and people you are exposed to during this time are unlike anything you will ever encounter.
The situations you are thrust into require quick thinking and quick wit. This is the place where your street smarts were developed and everyone knows those are what really get you ahead in the real world.
Still don't believe me? Take a look at my defense:
1. You can deal with any type of pretentious, condescending A-hole
Party schools breed douchebags, so you've really built up a tolerance for dealing with them.
While most people would get frustrated and annoyed, you know exactly how to bring them back down to earth tactfully.
2. You have great office morale
There's one sure way to determine if you went to a party school and that's your sports team.
If you spent the past four years cheering for a team you otherwise wouldn't give a sh*t about, you can certainly plaster on a smile at the office.
3. You learned how to network efficiently
Big school = big career fairs, which means you need to sell yourself within minutes.
You have had a ton of practice since large schools (which breed the party nature) tend to have multiple fairs per year. There's no better practice than this when it comes to networking.
4. Small talk comes easy to you
Ever participated in Fraternity or Sorority recruitment? Yup.
5. You learn how to wake up feeling as sh*tty as possible and still muster enough energy to seize the day
Some people can't make it through the work day without getting at least nine hours of sleep.
You, on the other hand, can go out the night before, black out, eat three pies of pizza (yourself) and still kill it at work the next day without hesitation.
6. You don't need to be the center of attention
The bigger the party, the better. You don't feel self-conscious or uncomfortable when people aren't constantly paying attention to you; in fact, you actually prefer it.
7. Pledging taught you how to be at the bottom of the corporate totem pole
Taking orders from superiors is basically your forte. You spent a year under the wrath and mercy of drunk and belligerent college kids. A CEO in an office? Piece of cake.
8. You understand competition and rivals
The Big Four is just like the Big 10, but with more white Jewish people. KPMG vs. PWC is essentially the same thing as Michigan vs. Penn State.
9. You know how to bullsh*t in group projects
Flying under the radar is your speciality. You have mastered the fine art of how to seem like you did the most work when you actually did the least. You made Dean's List for a reason, didn't you?
10. You have constant access to study drugs
11. You thrive during office all-nighters
Whereas some people come out of all-nighters looking like the above image, you spent four years making them your bitch.
12. You may prefer classy drinks, but you will never turn down a Natty Light
Ugh, makes you feel young again. Nothing like the sweet, bitter taste of a good ol' Natty Light to bring you back to the glory days.
13. You're innovative
…because you can make a bong out of anything, which really just enhances the creative skills on your resume.
14. You know how to make slutty classy
And, at the very least, you can pretend to make that button up not look so lesbian-y.
15. You can tolerate anyone
The bigger the school, the more people you are exposed to, ensuring that you have built up an impressive tolerance for people's bullsh*t. If this isn't a skill that translates into the real world, I don't know what is.
16. You can step up when needed
You've been planning and participating in parties for four years with the most disorganized groups of people you have ever encountered.
How could a situation in an office with mature adults be harder than that?
17. If you can wake up at 8 am to take a shot, you can wake up at 8 am for a company meeting
Let's be serious, if you can muster up the energy to drink at 8 am for a tailgate after partying for the past week straight, you can get your ass up for an early meeting after getting a solid night's sleep.
And that, my friends, is also how you justify your ridiculous college behavior to your parents. You're welcome!
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It
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