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Loneliness: Should We Escape Or Embrace It?

As you look at your Facebook timeline, you may see photos of people hanging out together or checking-in at fun places. You may then look at yourself, sitting alone, in front of your computer and ask, “am I doing something wrong?”

You may Google “loneliness” and find bunch of articles that discuss the emotion and how to cope with it. With every article you read, you become paler and your self-esteem depletes. There is something happening; you feel like you have a problem, because otherwise, you wouldn't be sitting at home by yourself.

Many personal development blogs and books suggest that depriving yourself from others is characteristic of an introverted personality.

But, there are plenty of successful introverts including J.R. Rowling, Audrey Hepburn, Bill Gates, Rosa Parks and Albert Einstein. So, if you are an introvert, stop worrying — enjoy your time alone.

Many of us fear loneliness, because we interpret it to be a loss or a disadvantage. By definition, it is a state of negativity in which you don't have anyone.

Social networks, websites, magazines, TV shows and other media tools exaggerate this notion and promote mixing into the crowd. Upon choosing to not mix into the crowd, you're seemingly less cool than those who do.

While it should be a mandate to spend some time alone, we too often classify solidarity as deviant isolation. Your friends may be confused if you tell them that you plan to stay in for the night just to have some alone time — why spend time alone when you have friends?

Though many do not accept it, being alone is a basic human need. Sooner or later, every person requires alone time to avoid the noise of society and life, to relax and to think — there is nothing weird about this.

Actually, it's quite normal to spend some time alone and guess what? Loneliness, in moderation, offers advantages.

It has the potential to be your most productive time — you can think by yourself and analyze your thoughts.

Although a collective solution or working on a task as a group may seem like a lot fun, working by yourself helps you develop your problem-solving, professional and personal skills. It also helps you to develop opinions about issues.

When you are alone, you're more likely to spend your time on tasks that you have to do. You'll get immediate results since no one will interrupt or distract you. You're more likely to become your boss's favorite employee as well as the boss of yourself.

Another important point about loneliness is that it is the best time for you to relax and rest. Of course, you can relax with your friends in a crowded club, at a fancy restaurant, at a theater, on a beachside or on a yacht. However, this is not so much resting as it is entertainment.

But, there is a huge difference between entertainment and rest. Rest is supposed to cleanse your mind and calm your body so afterward, you should feel ready for new challenges. So, do not prioritize escaping the quiet atmosphere of loneliness — covet it.

I will never reject the importance of being social. It is positive to have a robust network that allows for exchanging ideas, sharing your feelings and having fun. Yes, communicate you're your friends and relatives, but do not forget that loneliness is not necessarily as negative as many people describe it to be.

As with everything else, it offers positiviely, and when it's used properly, it can be in your favor. For the people who spend much of their time alone and have developed complexes about it, don't be afraid of it, just face it and embrace its advantages.

Top Photo Courtesy: We Heart It

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Leyla Abdullayeva

Contributor

Intellectually curious Sociology department student and peaceful human being who enjoys reading, writing, dancing, swimming, traveling, film photography and guiding people.
Intellectually curious Sociology department student and peaceful human being who enjoys reading, writing, dancing, swimming, traveling, film photography and guiding people.

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