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8 Reasons You'll Be Way More Confident In Your 30s Than You Were In Your 20s

Getting older used to horrify me.

Wrinkles, responsibilities, being boring — the whole package seemed really unappealing.

But, now that I'm in my 29th year and reaching the third decade of life, I'm not dreading it the way I used to.

In a weird way entering a new epoch of my existence sounds, dare I say it, exciting?

girl holding green "30" birthday balloon

Leandro Crespi

I'm approaching the dirty 30 with more and more gusto every day, and here's why:

1. You realize it's OK to not be hip anymore.

My 20s were all about keeping up with the latest styles, trends and lingo. I had to wear the right clothes and be seen at the hottest of hot spots.

But, once you hit 30, it's totally acceptable to be out of the loop. Trying to be cool all the time is incredibly exhausting.

I'm looking forward to donning my grandma sweats more often and it being totally OK with the rest of the world.


Trying to be cool all the time is incredibly exhausting.


2. You get excited about living responsibly.

In your 30s, you're expected to have your shit together, and I think I'm ready to step up to the plate.

This year, I'm not going to any music festivals, I've cut down drastically on my extra-curricular activities and I'm traveling less.

And weirdly, I am totally cool with that.

Adulting: 20s vs 30s

There is something oddly enticing about putting more money away in my 401(k) and saving money to buy a house.

I used to think the dirty 30 was about settling down and getting dull, but it's slowly becoming more attractive to be more… responsible.

There is something oddly enticing about putting more money away in my 401(k).

OK, so yeah, I'm going on a girls' trip to Cancun in a couple weeks, but I'm still 29.


3. Little insecurities slip away.

I know we are supposed to want to be 21 forever, but I never want to go back to that period full of insecurities and constant self-doubt.

Dating was a nightmare, I always second-guessed myself and I settled for less than I deserved.

Each year, I've been feeling more confident, more secure and more outgoing.

I imagine as I hit 30, I'll be experiencing an uber-boost of confidence. Nothing is more fulfilling than feeling good about myself.

Nothing is more fulfilling than feeling good about myself.


4. People take you more seriously.

There's something about being 20 that seems so, well, juvenile in the professional world.

Adulting: 21st Birthdays vs. 31st Birthdays [Body & Mind]

People look at a 30-something as someone who has a certain amount of wisdom and experience, making them more reliable and trustworthy.

I look forward to being taken more seriously in the work world.


5. You know it's OK to put on a couple pounds.

It's totally expected that you won't be fitting into an extra small anymore in your 30s.

My late-20s bod is at least 15 pounds heavier than my early 20s bod, and I couldn't care less.

I feel sexier than I did when I was 19, thanks to my sky-high confidence level these days, and I hope it will continue to rise.

I'm super stoked about the 30-year-old mentality of being healthy rather than obsessing about my pant size.


6. You get over fuckboys.

Fuckboys come in all ages, shapes and sizes, but guess what? In your 30s, you do not have to tolerate them anymore.

And now, given all the experience of my 20s, it's super easy for me to spot them.

I can recognize douchebag behavior in under one date (or in less than 10 Tinder messages).

Being 30 means not trying to impress the wrong dudes anymore and never settling.

I can recognize douchebag behavior in under one date (or in less than 10 Tinder messages).


7. It's easier to speak your mind.

When you're 25 and being assertive, you're a crazy bitch.

When you're 35 and standing up for yourself, you're a strong, independent woman who doesn't take any shit.

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Women in their 30s can speak their mind with fewer people questioning their sanity (save for the sexist assholes in the office and that rando fuckboy, but you don't need them anyway).


8. You have solid friendships.

I keep my squad pretty small these days. I imagine it will continue to narrow into my third decade of life.

In my 20s, I based my self-esteem on how many texts I got in a day, how many likes my Insta got and how many people asked me to hang out each weekend.

But, your 30s are all about valuing and cultivating the close friendships. You're not expected to be Queen Bee of the social scene.

Priorities shift, and you look forward to focusing less on the shallow and more on the meaningful when it comes to friendships.

three smiling young women taking selfie together outside

Jayme Burrows

Yeah, being young is fun, and sometimes, I idealize my early 20s and even those god-awful high school days.

But I wouldn't trade the knowledge and experience I have now for even a moment of hedonistic pleasure from my younger years.

I feel more energetic now that I'm not wasting so much time caring what other people think of me. I feel prettier now than when I had no cellulite and no gray hairs.

Getting older is natural and — well, duh — it happens to everyone.

I'm not trying to compete with a 22-year-old, and I don't want to.

The more we learn to embrace the positives of aging instead of trying to fight them, the more we'll be able to see how wisdom is everything, experience is invaluable and 30 is sexy as fuck.

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Abbey Finch

Contributor

Abbey Finch is a professional copywriter & blogger fumbling through life and attending grad school at the Columbia University School of Journalism. Read her blog and learn more about her first book here: abbeyfinchauthor.com.
Abbey Finch is a professional copywriter & blogger fumbling through life and attending grad school at the Columbia University School of Journalism. Read her blog and learn more about her first book here: abbeyfinchauthor.com.

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