#NOFOMO: 14 Things That You Don’t Care About Anymore As You Get ‘Old’
When we were young 20-somethings, we experienced this little thing called FOMO (fear of missing out).
FOMO is a phenomenon you encounter when either your friend or someone you follow on Instagram (because these aren’t one in the same) does something that makes it look like she is having the best time ever, while you are sitting at home alone watching Netflix.
But as we get older, we realize that there is really nothing else we crave more than being alone while enjoying a good Netflix binge.
FOMO is a dangerous form of social anxiety that plagues far too many people in this generation. Honestly, if you think about it, what makes one night out at the bar different from another? Nothing! And, alas, the dreaded FOMO has vanished.
What are all the things we’re over missing? Check them out…
1. A boyfriend
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because the couples holding hands in front of us on the sidewalk make us feel like we’re missing out on something.
Why we don’t miss it: It’s 90 degrees out, and the last thing we want is sweat dripping down our arms.
What we do instead: Hold on to ice coffee, a sandwich, our cell phone or any other inanimate object.
2. A night out on the weekend
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because we thought we would miss something out of the ordinary happen.
Why we don’t miss it: We have come to realize that a blackout is a blackout, and every night is basically the same.
What we do instead: Save money and curl up with Netflix.
3. A concert
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because back in the day, this was the “cool” thing to do.
Why we don’t miss it: Large crowds of people scare us and piss us off.
What we do instead: Sit on Snapchat and wait as our friends update their 120-second stories.
4. A weekend excursion
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because Facebook and Instagram make it look like the best thing in the world.
Why we don’t miss it: We are broke and struggling to make ends meet.
What we do instead: Just scroll through other people’s pictures while convincing ourselves how not-fun it looks… despite how fun it really does look.
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because you get emails every day, announcing great sales that aren’t actually great, but lure you into spending money you don’t have.
Why we don’t miss it: Still broke.
What we do instead: Sit and stare at our wardrobes and create different variations of outfits we’ve already worn.
6. Sunday brunch after a particularly hard Saturday
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because we (falsely) believe this is what Sundays are for.
Why we don’t miss it: Feeling hungover on a Monday is the absolute worst way to start your week.
What we do instead: Clean our rooms because they are always a disaster come Sunday, and then we actually exercise like we vowed to do all week long.
7. The night before Thanksgiving
Why we thought we’d missed it: Why else would people sell tickets for things?
Why we don’t miss it: It’s over-f*cking-rated and a waste of money.
What we do instead: Spend time with our families, like the pilgrims intended.
8. New Year’s Eve
Why we thought we’d missed it: The mark of a new year begs for an over-the-top celebration, right?
Why we don’t miss it: Because it never, ever, ever lives up to the hype.
What we do instead: Grab our closest friends and get the hell away from any major city.
9. Valentine’s Day
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because the Hallmark industry makes such a huge f*cking deal about it.
Why we don’t miss it: It’s a waste of money, time and always ends up in disappointment.
What we do instead: Have a romantic date with Netflix and Seamless because that just sounds like the most enticing threesome I could ever imagine.
10. Going back to a 17th year of camp
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because nostalgia is something we are apparently obsessed with.
Why we don’t miss it: Because we are of legal drinking age and have much better things to do.
What we do instead: Absolutely anything else in the entire world.
11. Work happy hour
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because we thought it would directly affect our performance review at work.
Why we don’t miss it: It happens every single week.
What we do instead: Standard post-work activities: gym, laundry and cleaning.
12. Group dinners
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because all of your friends are going.
Why we don’t miss it: The check is absolutely impossible to figure out, which only results in half of the people paying less than they should while the other half pays more.
What we do instead: Order Seamless for ourselves, by ourselves.
13. Being in a bridal party
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because the idea of it seems really fun and exciting.
Why we don’t miss it: It’s expensive and very, very time-consuming.
What we do instead: Say no…
14. High school reunions
Why we thought we’d missed it: Because you want to see how much people have changed over the past 10 years.
Why we don’t miss it: The majority of these people haven’t changed and just continued to become worse versions of themselves.
What we do instead: Go out with our current friends who are actually relevant to our lives.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It
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