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Parents Are Teaching Girls To Call Their Vaginas ‘Twinkle,’ And It’s Not OK

Look, vagina isn’t the prettiest word in the dictionary, but neither is penis, and you don’t hear people whispering it like it’s a bad word.

I’m not a parent and don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, but I was slightly disturbed when I heard there was a heated discussion happening on Mumsnet, the UK’s most popular parenting website, regarding teaching little girls what to call their vaginas.

Not to be a science dork, but what about just… vagina?

Apparently, the word is too harsh for children’s ears.

User ShesAStar writes,

We’ve ended up calling it her Minnie – I didn’t know what to call it other than vulva but thought it sounded a bit gynecological for a 2 year old. My mother called it a floosie which I hated – DS called it a Minnie when he was 3 and it seemed as good as anything.

Right, because calling her vagina the name of a cartoon mouse isn’t weird at all.

What a great way to make her first trip to Disney World the weirdest sexual awakening anyone’s ever had.

Minnie wasn’t the weirdest nickname these parents gave their kids to protect them from the scary world of gynecology.

The list of terrifying terms included these gems as well:

Flower

Way too kind considering the torture her flower is going to subject her to in her teen years.

Frou frou

I’m sorry, did her vagina star in “The Sound of Music”?

Twinkle

Not to be confused with the classic childhood song about stars.

Gigi

Sounds like a French whore.

Noo-noo

I’d honestly rather call my vagina a penis.

I understand parenting is a tricky thing and that I don’t know the first thing about it. I understand it’s wrong to shame someone for doing the difficult job of raising a human being.

How To Give Zero Fucks

But maybe, just maybe, parenting would be a little bit easier if we didn’t complicate the issues that have already been worked out for us, like finding a name for the female genitalia.

Say it loud, say it proud: VAGINA.

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CITATIONS Metro UK
  1. Metro UK

    What were you taught to call your vagina?

Rosebud Baker

Editor

Rosebud Baker is a standup comic and writer in NYC. Follow her on Twitter, where she desperately seeks the approval of strangers, but will settle for just attention.
Rosebud Baker is a standup comic and writer in NYC. Follow her on Twitter, where she desperately seeks the approval of strangers, but will settle for just attention.

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