10 Reasons Why There's Absolutely No Way You're Going Out On Saturday
It's Saturday night and you're sitting on your couch watching reruns of your favorite TV show.
Your friends message you asking your plans for the night; they want to go out. They want to go to a house party, or a club where some D-List DJ is playing. They want to get drunk!
You, on the other hand, aren't so tempted. The idea of changing out of pajamas and putting on nice clothes makes you want to vomit before you've even had your first tequila shot.
Going out on a Saturday night can be fun. You know it can be fun… well, what you remember. However, you get to a point in life where peer pressure from friends and the fear of missing out just doesn't get to you like it used to.
Maybe it's old age, or maybe you're over spending endless amounts of money only to feel sick and exhausted the next day. Here are 10 possible reasons why you're not going out on a Saturday night.
Hangovers are painful
There was a time when you could drink copious amounts of alcohol, stay out till 5 am, go to work four hours later and not feel awfully hungover.
Now, a couple of drinks have you knocked out until Wednesday, and you definitely don't have time to lie in bed for days. No one likes a throbbing headache on a Monday.
No money to go out
When you're drunk and out clubbing, money seems disposable. Sure, you can afford a round of drinks, a $40 cover charge and a 20-piece chicken nugget after a night out.
However, you need that money for expenses like groceries and health insurance. Your vodka shots just have to wait.
Clubs are loud
They are so loud. Why are you even out with friends? Music is being played at such a high volume, speaking is basically impossible.
Your interactions with your friends usually entail non-verbal cues such as miming a cup to your mouth for more drinks and holding your crotch to indicate you're going to the bathroom.
Nothing to wear
You always need to dress to impress when you're hitting the town. However, your mediocre salary probably doesn't accommodate buying a new outfit every Saturday night.
In a social media era, it's impossible to get away with wearing an outfit more than once. Not only will your group of friends judge you, but so will their 200-plus friends on social media platforms.
Plus, sweatpants are just so much more comfortable than skinny jeans.
I have limited patience for people in general, let alone drunk people who have lost all aspect of social awareness.
No one likes a drunken person grinding on you, or a drunken person projectile vomiting into a sink in which you're washing your hands.
You have two options: 1) go out clubbing, spend hundreds of dollars on drinks and club entries and possibly get lucky, or 2) sit at home eating Chinese take-out while watching cute boys on YouTube (or whatever interests you on the Internet).
Not going to lie, option two sounds better to me and like the more cost-effective option.
Someone you're avoiding is going out
The last thing you need is an awkward run-in with someone you've been avoiding, whether it's your ex-partner, an old best friend or your socially awkward cousin who always wants to hang out with you.
Staying at home solves all those issues before they even start.
Someone you like is going out
You don't want to blow your chances with a potential partner by drunkenly confessing your late-night thoughts.
Let's stick with a controlled environment, like texting or sending seamlessly staged Snapchats.
You don't need to hook up
When you're single and going out, one of your main agendas is to get some action. We've all thought about it, but you don't need to hook up; you've already got your significant other Tinder, pizza or whatever keeps you warm at night.
Drinking you gets you into trouble
Sometimes, when you're in the moment of being out on a Saturday, you stop being you and become someone you're not.
Drunk you might become impulsive, make reckless decisions and put yourself in situations sober you would disapprove of (like go home with that mediocre-looking guy). However, drunk you doesn't have to deal with the consequences, sober you does.
I have to admit, going out on a Saturday can be fun, but sometimes, wearing sweatpants in bed while watching Netflix is just so much better than dealing with drunken drama.
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