On the long, arduous, and ever-evolving journey to finding yourself, there will be countless instances in which the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are the primary factor stifling your progress. It’s hard to let go of people, and it is even harder to displace yourself outside of your own comfort zone.
Whether it’s your friends, family, or lovers, the only common denominator is the fact that they will always change. As a natural progression in every person’s life, their evolution of taste levels, aspirations, and ideals will move with their experiences and surroundings.
Although they may love you and feel as though they have your best interests in mind, no one will ever understand your needs like you will. Confusing individuals for the person they have become from the person they used to be is perhaps the most difficult assessment to make in life.
There are hardly any external factors that contribute to recognizing the change, but the fact that they make consistent valiant efforts to make your life better and more productive is something that needs to be assessed on a day to day basis.
Putting forth consistent love is something that you have to do every second of your life. If it is not reciprocated you may have to take your focuses elsewhere. Here are some ways to understand how to put checks and balances on everyone around you:
They want you to be someone you will never be
You can be the person that you are told to be, but where is the passion in that? Don’t change who you are for anyone else. It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than to keep them by being someone you’re not.
It’s easier to mend a broken heart than it is to piece together a shattered identity. It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where YOU used to be.
The inability to validate their words by their actions
Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow. If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go.
It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. True friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time. Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do. Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.
Let us keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to love us. We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave. That’s what love is all about – freedom. However, the end of love is not the end of life. It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson.
If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it. Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay in your life and prove it. Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait.
They’re there for the eye candy
Being beautiful is about more than how many people you can get to look at you, or how others perceive you at a single glance. It’s about what you live for. It’s about what defines you. It’s about the depth of your heart, and what makes you unique. It’s about being who you are and living out your life honestly. It’s about those little quirks that make you, you.
People who are only attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won’t stay by your side forever. The people who can see how beautiful your heart is, however, will never leave you.
Habitual trust breaking individuals
Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to. When you completely trust a person, without any doubt, you’ll automatically get one of two results – a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life.
Either way, there’s a positive outcome. Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do. In the end you’ll discover who’s fake, who’s true, and who would risk it all for you. And trust me, some people will totally surprise you.
Overlooked and undervalued
Know your worth! When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back. There comes a point when you have to let go and stop chasing some people. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll find a way to put you there.
Sometimes you just need to let go and accept the fact that they don’t care for you the way you care for them. Let them leave your life quietly. Letting go is oftentimes easier than holding on. We think it’s too hard to let go, until we actually do. Then we ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”
Being forced to be the silent partner
Sometimes an argument saves a relationship, whereas silence breaks it. Speak up for your heart so that you won’t have regrets. Life is not about making others happy. Life is about being honest and sharing your happiness with others.
If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it.
Know when to close the account. It’s always better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that constantly requires you to sacrifice your happiness and self-respect.
It’s better to be a failure at something you love than to succeed at doing something you hate. Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.
The best thing you can do in life is follow your heart. Take risks. Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen. If you do, nothing will ever happen.
Chances must be taken, mistakes must be made, and lessons must be learned. It might be an uphill climb, but when you reach that mountaintop it will be worth every ounce of blood, sweat and tears you put into it.
Stuck in the past
Eventually you will overcome the heartache, forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain. You will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but rather lies in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time.
After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story. So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of new relationships and priceless experiences.