New You, New Life: 4 Steps To Reinventing The Person In The Mirror
You look at yourself in the mirror and don't recognize the person in the reflection. You do not like the person you are today and shudder at the mere thought of your past self. Often feeling depressed, frustrated or angry, you feel like you're wasting your life. It's time for a reinvention!
Grab three pieces of paper, a pencil (or a pen, if you're feeling fancy). Place the papers next to each other and write on the top, from left to right: “Past/Today,” “Tomorrow” and “Future.”
Whatever circumstances are making you feel what you’re feeling, be it the loss of a loved one or just pure laziness, give yourself a pat on the back.
You've already accomplished the first step, which is…
You can't start anywhere if you don't realize that you need a change. This is the first step, as it validates your state of mind (body and soul), instead of just trying to diminish it with get-over-it self-talk.
Drowning out our emotions and not acknowledging them only brings more frustration and later depression; “why did I choose to look away?” is what we want to avoid in the future. After you've recognized and accepted your emotions, it's time to…
Now, you need to define what exactly is making you feel how you do and start writing. Take a good, hard look at your life. Is it that dead-end job that doesn't fulfill you in any way but keeps a roof over your head so you tolerate it? Is it a lack of a hobby, slowly murdering your creative self?
Is it a family member or a loved one emotionally bullying you — or worse? Write down on the “Past/Today” paper what you feel is wrong in your life right now and needs changing. Rule out anything that doesn't make you (want to be) your best self.
Make sure to cover all areas of life – emotionally, physically, psychologically, financially, socially and spiritually. With a list of things-to-change done, you need to start to…
Now, imagine you have won the Powerball. Imagine you have been granted a wish from God, the Universe or whatever name you call it, depending on your personal beliefs. Whatever you choose to imagine, the goal is to free yourself from mental entrapment and think outside of the money boundary.
Like this, your true passions come forward and you will get a clearer perspective of what you would like to be and have to do to get there. Write on the “Future” paper all you want to accomplish. After going through a journey of self-discovery, you need to do the final and most important step…
Now it's time to get down to business. Look at what you defined on the “Past/Today” paper and what you have imagined for your “Future.”
Read what you wrote out loud. You want a new, better relationship than the one you have today? A job that at least doesn't make you want cry inside when you have to wake up in the morning?
To let go of all those people who don't bring anything new to your life; those who are more so enemies than actual friends? Perhaps even a hobby that keeps your creativity alive? Compare both papers and write down what you need to do in order to accomplish all of those things in the “Tomorrow” section. Why tomorrow, you may ask?
Well, because that is when you should start your reinvention. Today was for thinking, writing and planning.
Don't forget to be down-to-earth. Unfortunately, money is a big part of our lives and you haven't won the Powerball – yet. But, you can still have everything you wrote on the “Future” paper, on a lesser scale. A luxurious one-month vacation in Dubai? Unless you start saving right now, aim for one week at a more modest hotel.
Or maybe, your own yacht on a Greek coast? Accept that most likely, you won't have a mega-yacht, but a more humble one. It's still a yacht, though. In any case, you need to start saving. Not having it now or in six months time, but maybe in a couple of years. Still, it’s better than not having anything at all.
Just be realistic when it comes to the material things. As for friends, family and relationships, all you need is courage and to realize that you need to be your own best friend in this world.
However, if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, maybe even with kids, of course you need money to support yourself and your children in order to leave.
In this case, start saving on the side if possible and seek out help from friends and family. In a worst-case scenario, seek out legal aid and protection. Don't hesitate.
Whatever you have written and whatever you have chosen to do, just remember this is your life and no one else can live it but you. Be your best friend and have no fears; fear is an illusion anyway, so you might as well make it an oasis in the desert instead of a fire-spitting dragon.
You don't know what tomorrow will bring, but one thing is certain: If you don't take action now, tomorrow will bring nothing but regret.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It
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