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You’re Not Sad: 22 Signs You’re Suffering From S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder)

Do you feel moody? How about anxious? Do weather reports keep you up at night?

You may be suffering from SAD, aka Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is sometimes known as “the winter blues.” No, it’s not a made-up disease; it’s indeed a very real disorder that sends thousands of East Coast sun worshippers spiraling into a state of melancholy for weeks to months on end.

Symptoms include: aversion to darkness, cold temperatures and wind. They also include an inability to see beyond the winter months to the ones of sunlight and high temperatures.

People who suffer from SAD become dizzy and nauseated at the idea of outdoor exposure and many times cannot take off their sunglasses. They are moody, irritable and likely to slap you if you bring up snow, ice or temperatures below 65.

While the symptoms will heighten throughout the fall, they are likely to increase drastically as temperatures drop. The fall, however, is a good indicator of how and when your friends or family will be affected by this incurable disorder.

As the summer heat quickly transforms into the fall chill many of us welcome and love, sun worshippers everywhere will be fleeing for heat lamps and down comforters, refusing to return to the lovable, happy people we once knew.

You do your makeup without any lights on so you can't see how pale you are.

Tans don’t last forever, but misery does.


When you go to the deli, you put your hands under the heat lamp.

I remember when it used to feel like this all the time.


You refuse to wear a jacket… even when it's freezing.

It’s not time yet! Just give me more time!


You're not done wearing shorts… even if it means wearing tights underneath them.

Jean shorts and a long-sleeved shirt is the same as jeans and short sleeves… right?


The UV lamps at the nail place get you temporarily high.

It’s like blue balls, only worse.


You'll take breaks during work to stand directly in the sun.

One shouldn’t have to resort to this.


You want to slap the next person who brings up global warming.

You can’t punch global warming in the face, so who can you punch? This guy, that’s who.


Your Netflix queue is “Summer Catch” and “I Know What You Did Last Summer.”

I’m a masochist; I can’t help it. I’d rather watch other people play in the sun than no one at all.


You're still trying to barbecue.

Who said hot dogs were a seasonal food? Light that bitch up!


You’re still asking friends to go party on their roofs.

What do you mean you don’t go up when it’s snowing?


What wind?

What wind chill factor? It says it’s 65 degrees and I’m gonna dress like it!


You refuse to admit that it's getting darker earlier.

They’re just heavy clouds; they’re just dark black clouds. Nothing to see here.


You finally have something to talk about with your grandparents.

Yes, Grandma it is too cold. Yes, I may also move into a condominium in Palm Beach. Yes, we can play golf and knit together, so long as I’m warm.


You’re jealous of rotisserie chickens.

They get to burn all day long and I get nothing.


You freebase carrots for vitamin D.

Oompa-Loompas are not born… they are made!


Your Facebook statuses are littered with “wish it was sunny” gripes.

If there can’t be sun, there better be some “likes” shining down on me.


You wear sunglasses when it’s not sunny.

Fluorescents are worse for you than UV rays, didn’t you know?


You still wear SPF in the winter.

Just because the sun isn’t out doesn’t mean you’re not getting exposure.


You’re still listening to those summer tunes that everyone’s now sick of.

Is it a crime to reminisce? You loved these songs three weeks ago! What happened?


You refuse to exercise indoors.

Running is just not the same when it’s not under the sun.


Even a Pumpkin Spice Latte can’t lift your spirits.

Show me a pumpkin and I swear to God…

Top Photo Courtesy: We Heart It

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Lauren Martin

Freelance Contributor

Lauren Martin is a Senior Lifestyle Writer at Elite Daily. After graduating from PSU, she moved to NYC to write fart jokes at Smosh Magazine. Making her way to ED, she now writes riveting commentary on nude pics, condoms and first dates.
Lauren Martin is a Senior Lifestyle Writer at Elite Daily. After graduating from PSU, she moved to NYC to write fart jokes at Smosh Magazine. Making her way to ED, she now writes riveting commentary on nude pics, condoms and first dates.

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