How Your Snapchat Update Reaction Reflects Your Relationship
Overly paranoid girlfriends and boyfriends were pretty upset yesterday when Snapchat's latest update included the elimination of the “Best Friends” feature.
For an app that prides itself on secrecy, it was always kind of odd users were able to see who their friends messaged the most.
The app used a certain algorithm to produce a score between users, based on how often they would Snap one another; that score would translate to a ranking of top three “Best Friends.”
According to teenagers, the “Best Friends” list was like a barometer of relationship statuses.
You could tell who was hooking up with whom, who wanted to hook up with whom and who might soon be dumped — all from looking at someone's Best Friends list.
There's no doubt this feature was the catalyst for countless relationship spats, and not just for teenagers. It's an easy scenario to imagine: Girl dates boy; girl checks boy's best friends; girl asks, “Who the f*ck is tina29?” Hello, fight.
This isn't to say it's always the guy's fault. It's equally likely the girl could be up to some shady Snapchatting behavior. If “Sex and the City” took place in 2015, Carrie Bradshaw would not want Aidan to check her BF list — just sayin'.
For some, the act of checking a significant other's Best Friends might be a routine based in comfort. You check, make sure you're still number one, and the other two are his favorite bros. Phew.
It's understandable the elimination of this feature could have created some anxiety, especially if the checking became ritual. Humans are creatures of habit, and people don't like their security blankets to be ripped out from under them.
The reaction was so strong, eventually, Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel tweeted, “We'll bring back BFs soon.”
Yes, the mass paranoia forced the app's bigwigs to do a complete 180 and reverse their decision. Behold, the power of social media. Rest assured, we can still snoop on everyone's Best Friends.
However, there's a pretty big problem with the general reaction to this update: This reaction was undoubtedly derived from the anxious users who were worried about their ability to “track” their significant others' social media behavior.
But, if you are seriously that worried about your partner's Snapchat activity, doesn't that say more about you than it does about him or her? Perhaps, some of the people who contributed to the collective freak out should step back and examine their relationships.
Additionally, if there's a specific person you feel may be a threat to your relationship, or if there's someone in particular who makes you uncomfortable, why don't you try communicating it to your significant other? You might be surprised — a little honesty can go a long way.
For those people who use the “Best Friends” feature as a way to feel secure, your casual habit is super unhealthy.
Why do you need to consistently eliminate the possibility of cheating behavior in order to feel good about your relationship? Routinely checking in on your partner may make you feel reassured, but it's a major sign of distrust.
Trust is an essential element in any relationship, which should be unconditionally embraced. It doesn't count to say you trust your partner only after you review everything he or she did on social media that day; trust doesn't work that way.
To fully display trust and faith, you need to take a step back. You need to accept the fact that you aren't going to see everything your partner does on social media, and that should be okay.
It should be okay because you trust him or her, and you know he or she wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt you.
Essentially, if you equate the elimination of Snapchat “Best Friends” with an elimination of control and security, you've already lost more than you think.
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