It’s one thing calling yourself an Elite Daily man – it’s another thing altogether to be able to put your money where your mouth is.
Here are ten things every Elite Daily man should know how to do, and do well:
1. Cook a Steak
Girls love food, and there is nothing sexier than a man standing over a grill handling a piece of meat. Here’s a secret – you can’t go wrong cooking for a girl, you just can’t. Impress her even more by knowing about the different cuts of steak, and also inquiring how she would like her steak done.
Do the steak right and she’ll do you right in return.
2. Appreciate scotch
I dated a man who used to order Malibu and pineapple as his signature drink. I also dated a man who didn’t drink and ordered water at the bar. I didn’t know which one was worse, so I dumped them both.
Moral of the story is – drink something manly, and there’s nothing more masculine than a good Scotch.
3. Order Wine
If you don’t know anything about wine, don’t make a big deal about this. Don’t sweat at the sight of the wine list or weep at the prices – be cool. It’s just a beverage – a beverage that will increase the chances that she will laugh at your jokes and end up naked in your bed.
Gain some general knowledge about the different types of reds and whites, and please, PLEASE also learn how to pronounce them properly. Nothing is more of a cockblock as when you order ‘peenot greece’ in a restaurant.
4. Buy a suit
All men look their best in a suit – suits are cool and even though you might not have a job that entails dressing in one, you will still have to don a suit a couple times a year for certain events. Always remember that a suit is an investment – it’s a piece of clothing that you will hang onto for a few years, so it’s okay to spend a little more on it.
When purchasing a suit, squeeze the fabric to see how it feels, check the buttons to make sure that they don’t pull when you’re sitting or stretching, make sure it doesn’t wrinkle easily and always, ALWAYS get it fitted to your body.
An Elite Daily man dates the crème de la crème, so it’s not at all surprisingly that at times, you will have to fight for your lady’s honor. I know, I know – you’re a lover, not a fighter – which could explain why the last time you were involved in a fistfight, you were taken down by a 12 year old girl.
Inevitably, at least once in your like you’ll find yourself in a situation where you need to throw a punch. You can’t throw a punch like a girl or bitch slap someone because they’ll end up laughing in your face, kicking your ass all while stealing whatever hot slice you had your eye on.
Forget watching WWE smack down in order to pick up tips – you don’t need to know how crossbody someone in order to prove your point. Just swing your shoulders and throw a straight punch with the right length and you’ll solve the situation pretty quickly.
6. How to Fish
If all of these Doomsday Preppers shows and end of the world movies are remotely right, there may be a time in our future when we need to hunt for our food. Fishing is a necessary skill since 70% of the earth’s surface is covered with water – and secretly, wouldn’t you prefer to take down a fish than wrestle a pig?
7. Give a good massage
What could be better foreplay than stripping your lady friend down and caressing every inch of her body with your hands? Not only does it make you seem like a sensitive, thoughtful guy, but it’ll also break the intimacy barrier. Most importantly, it’ll almost always lead to sex. It’s a win-win situation.
8. Look at Other Women Discreetly
Checking out hot women is one of life’s greatest pleasures – it’s a victimless crime like punching someone in the dark. However, when you are already involved with someone, it takes skill to do this inconspicuously – try it when you’re hugging your woman or when she is distracted by something.
You can even make a negative comment about her to your girlfriend; all the while you’re imagining her sitting on your cock.
9. Change a Tire
It looks pretty easy in the movies, right? Think again. Take out your spare wheel, figure out what the tools provided in the back of the car do and learn how to jack up the car correctly. Do all this BEFORE you actually get a flat. You’ll thank me when you see a hot girl stranded on the side of the street with a flat tire.
You can’t be a boy scout all the time and lying can sometimes come in quite handy if you’ve fucked up. All you have to remember is that a good liar must remain calm and to base your lies on truths.