The 10 Phases Of A Successful Pregame
No successful night out is complete without a pregame. Everyone knows it’s not socially acceptable to arrive at a bar or club sober, so the pregame is crucial.
If you aren’t ripping 8-10 shots before you depart for the evening, then you’re doing something wrong. Have you ever tried going out SOBER?! It’s horrible.
Drunk people are knocking into you left and right while crushing your toes all at the same damn time. For the girls, a pregame is completely necessary just to be able to walk in 4-inch heels.
What about in the wintertime? It’s actually a necessity when you have to stand outside for 15 minutes. Pregaming makes the wait on line that much more bearable. No one wants the hassle of bringing out a puffy winter coat, so instead you dress yourself in a drunken stupor. Basically, if you’re not pregaming, you are not prepared for the night.
1. If it’s scheduled for 10 pm, you arrive at 10:45
No one ever shows up for a pregame on time, ever. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female or if it’s Friday or Saturday. The best bet is to tell your guests to arrive at a time well before the intended time. Personally, I think the pregame is the best part of the night, but that’s probably because it’s the only part I remember.
2. You grab a chaser before even saying ‘Hi’ to anyone
How can you hope to pregame if you don’t have a valid chaser? You can’t. For the girls, soda isn’t even an option if it’s not diet, so your best bet is to bring a chaser of your own. #CrystalLight #TSM. If the host is serving red bull, you know you are at one classy shindig.
3. Hug it out
After you have secured a necessary chaser for yourself, it’s time to whip out those manners and give fake hugs and kisses to all of your “friends.” JK, but seriously, before you can start ripping shots, you have to greet your fellow partygoers.
4. Then you grab all the alcohol you can
If the host is supplying the liquor, then you know the quantity will be limited. Make sure you fill that red solo cup as high as you can so you and your friends can take the necessary amount of shots to have fun. Try not to spill as that is an epic party foul.
5. Rush to find a seat
The couch is prime real estate at any given pregame. No one wants to stand around the counter while consuming massive amounts of alcohol. This is a reason in itself to arrive on time. If you are lucky enough to have the privilege of sitting, be careful because you won’t realize how drunk you actually are until you stand up to leave.
6. Engage in awkward chit chat
Before the liquor starts flowing, you’re probably going to have to engage in some petty bullsh*t before it’s an appropriate time to rip shots (is there ever a time it’s inappropriate?). Typical conversations will begin in the following ways: how’s work? (boring); how’s your new apartment? (small); and OMG are you guys exclusive? (never).
7. Take 5 shots
The only way to recover after an awkward conversation is to forcefully throw back shot after shot. Finally you have come to the best part of the pregame — time to get wasted.
8. Try and decide where to go afterwards
The biggest mistake a person can make is to arrive at a pregame with no plan for afterwards. It’s pretty f*cking hard to get 20+ drunk people to agree on a destination. This sh*t is difficult enough when you’re sober, it’s that much more difficult when drunk.
9. Take another 5 more shots
As everyone tries (and fails) to figure out the plan for the evening, you basically have no choice but to rip even more shots. Who has the money to spend on $15 drinks anyway? Not me, that’s for sure. It’s time to bring on the rationalizations; it’s better to be too drunk than sober, right? RIGHT? Right.
10. Lose all your inhibitions
Well you are sufficiently hammered and ready to embark on the night ahead. You don’t even care where you go at this point as you’re most likely wasted. You got your friends and your phone; you’re good to go! Basically, at this point, nothing can faze you or the drunken smile you have plastered on your face.
Bonus: 10 points for you if you remember anything after the pregame
For more pregame fun, check out ‘7 Characters You’re Most Likely To Find At Every Pregame.’