The 50 Adult Things We're Putting Off Until We're Older
I'm not sure if any of us know when the exact deadline is for adulthood, but I'm secure in saying that many of us stretch it as far as possible. It's actually pretty ironic because we spent most of our youth dreaming of adulthood and complete independence.
It seems crazy now, but remember how badly you couldn't wait to just be old and responsible? Remember watching your parents drive their cars, stay up as late as they wanted, eat whatever they wanted, and just buy whatever they wanted? It seemed like the land of promise, where growing up was the only due we had to pay to get there.
We tried to grow up as fast as possible — trying on our parents' clothes, wearing our mother's lipstick and high heels at the first sign of fading youth.
We started shaving way before we needed to, begged our parents to let us go to the mall alone and would revel in delight when people thought we were a year or two older.
Then, the inevitable occurred. We got a taste of adulthood — the good, bad and ugly of it all. We realized that work isn't better than school, buying groceries and microwaves isn't as fun as we thought, and cooking for ourselves is just a pain in the ass.
Suddenly those home-cooked meals, pre-made snacks, days of recess and zero accountability seem pretty damn good.
However, we still wanted to be old enough to be on our own, to do drugs and to legally drink. Basically, we just want to be college kids on the dime of our parents for the rest of our lives.
Those were the four best years of our lives. It was freedom without the responsibility of it. But for many, those days are over and entering the workforce means admitting that true adulthood is not far off.
Don't get me wrong; we're still young and many of us still have a few more years before we need to even contemplate leaving our parents' cellphone plans.
For many of us, the idea of adulthood doesn't actually start until you have kids, when you are responsible for another life, and ripping bong hits to “The Big Lebowski” could result in more serious allegations than just possession charges.
As children, we looked up to people in their twenties as civilized and established members of society. We thought a 22-year-old was as much of an adult as a 30-something.
We laugh now, realizing those camp counselors and big cousins we looked up to were just lost graduates clinging to whatever youth they could, staving off responsibility for as long as possible.
They weren't making investments or down payments; they were getting blacked out and trying to pay rent while still saving enough for a McDonald's dinner.
No one said your twenties were a time of responsibility and maturation. Your life is whatever you want it to be, and adulthood starts whenever you're ready for it. Because even though we know what the responsible things to do are, we're gonna wait till we're older to really start doing them. These are the 50 things we're putting off until we're older:
1. Staying faithful.
2. Using a savings account.
3. Owning a vacuum cleaner.
4. Dressing appropriately.
5. Carrying a briefcase.
6. Doing laundry… weekly.
7. Drinking without getting drunk.
8. Shaving more than once a week.
9. Talking to an accountant.
10. Attending Bruce Springsteen concerts.
11. Driving the speed limit.
12. Investing in things that don't come in ounces and quarters.
13. Reading the newspaper.
14. Watching the news.
15. Drinking just one beer during the game.
16. Having your own cell phone plan.
17. Thinking about plastic surgery.
18. Living without roommates.
19. Cooking without a microwave.
20. Owning real estate.
21. Wearing pearls.
22. Drinking tea instead of coffee.
23. Wearing gloves when it's cold.
24. Going to church/temple regularly.
25. Buying clothes from stores that don't sound like strip clubs.
26. Wearing sensible shoes.
27. Sleeping more than four hours on the weekend.
28. Reading Oprah's books.
29. Watching documentaries.
30. Getting business cards.
31. Making your own lunch.
32. Donating to causes.
33. Owning stationary.
34. Owning stamps.
35. Having a book shelf.
36. Buying furniture that's not from Ikea.
37. Being insured.
38. Keeping money in your wallet.
39. Carrying cash.
40. Wearing suntan lotion.
41. Eating breakfast every morning.
42. Using the word “f*ck” only once a day.
43. Getting rid of your AOL account.
44. Downloading apps that aren't games.
45. Speaking intelligently about politics.
46. Baking brownies without weed.
47. Wearing dress pants.
48. Renewing your license.
49. Owning a nightgown.
50. Drinking at the bar, not before.
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