The Timeline That Perfectly Describes Every Person’s Experience At Chipotle
Lunch time is probably the best part of the working day. It gives you an hour to yourself to get away from the stressors of the office, as well as some of your coworkers. Sometimes you just need a mid-afternoon break and what better way to fill it than by eating?
Chipotle has undoubtedly capitalized on this desire because there are at least three people in my office ordering that for lunch on any given day.
Everyone else stares on in envy as they devour their chips and guac and burritos, wishing they had opted for some Chipotle instead of a make-your-own salad.
Entering a Chipotle is typically the same experience each and every time you go. The line is long; it’s crowded and despite this being your 67th time at the establishment, you still have no idea what you want to order.
What makes a Chipotle experience? Well…
1. You count down the minutes until it’s an appropriate time to leave your cubicle to hunt down your burrito
All of a sudden, you are STARVING; unfortunately, the clock reads 10:18 am and it’s just not socially acceptable to get lunch quite yet.
You ponder what you’re in the mood for and smack yourself in the head because, obviously, Chipotle is the best option there is out there.
2. You arrive at the Chipotle location and realize the line is out the door
When is there not a line at this fine establishment? It doesn’t matter what time you arrive in between the hours of 12 pm and 8 pm, there will be a line winding around the corner.
Thank the guacamole gods that it moves quickly. But walking in and realizing you’re going to have to wait before you can get your hands on your burrito bowl is something no one wants to deal with.
3. You suck it up anyway and think about what you’re going to get
Do I get a burrito? Do I just get chips and guacamole? Should I test the limits and order a quesadilla from the secret menu? Whatever, I’m getting a regular burrito.
4. You browse every form of social media to pass the time, even though there’s nothing new since the last time you checked
How else are you going to kill time waiting on this long-ass line? Of course, you are going to refresh your newsfeed, scroll through your timeline and peruse Instagram. I mean, what else are you going to do?
5. You overhear the awkward conversations the people around you are having
For some reason, people always talk about the weirdest sh*t while they wait on line. You can’t even attempt to ignore them as they’re standing fewer than 6 inches from you.
Personal space doesn’t exist in Chipotle — the closer you are to the person in front of you, the closer you are to the counter.
6. You finally get up to the serving bar, only to realize you still don’t know what you want
Instead of focusing on what you are going to order, you spent the past eight to 10 minutes scrolling through your Twitter feed.
You don’t know why this is such a decision, but placing an order at Chipotle is a commitment and you don’t want to regret opting for a burrito bowl instead of the regular burrito.
7. You change your mind three times while simultaneously pissing off everyone in line behind you
No wonder the line was so long, it was filled with indecisive people just like you! You immediately regret cursing these people in your head, as you are clearly doing the same thing — taking too damn long.
8. You go back and forth as to whether you’re getting guacamole or not
Do you really need the extra guacamole? Will your meal taste just as good without it?
9. Who are you kidding? Of course you order the guacamole
Ha. This is the same, stupid question you debate every time you go to Chipotle and the answer is always yes. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you not to get the guacamole, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
10. You roll your eyes in disbelief when you hear the total. It’s more than you thought (it always is) and so you fumble with your wallet
I thought this was supposed to be fast food? And isn’t fast food supposed to be cheap? Why is this total over $11?
11. You then figure out the best way to steal Tabasco sauce and 14 lemons
If you’ve never stolen Tabasco sauce from Chipotle, you haven’t lived. And the lemons are completely and utterly necessary as they are definitely a game-changer — especially on the chips.
12. You race against time back to your office, hoping and praying your food stays hot
Everyone knows food tastes better when it’s hot, but all the seats at Chipotle are taken during lunch. This forces you to run back to your cubicle of hell to consume your delicious meal.
13. You sit back down in your cubicle to enjoy your lunch
Watch out coworkers because a meal of champions is about to be unleashed and, no, you can’t have a bite.
Everyone watches in envy as you consume your glorious burrito, wishing they followed your lead as they sulk into their depressing homemade lunch.
14. You wish you got extra chips and guacamole because your burrito bowl just wasn’t enough
You debated getting a side of chips and guacamole, but opted not to because you were trying to be money savvy. This was a rookie mistake, my friend; chips and guac are always worth it, no matter the cost.
15. You finish your delicious lunch and the misery sets in when you remember you have to go back to staring at Excel spreadsheets for four and a half more hours
Your little slice of heaven has been consumed, digested and now you must go back to your miserable computer screen. The pure joy you felt has quickly come and passed — you’re back to work, that is… until tomorrow’s lunch.
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