7 Reasons Why Eating Salad For Lunch Is Literally The Worst

7 Reasons Why Eating Salad For Lunch Is Literally The Worst
Life
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

I don’t know about you, but I think about food a lot. Like, I go to bed thinking about breakfast, and before I’ve eaten it, I’m thinking about lunch.

Lunch becomes a massive deal because it’s your breath of fresh air from work and something you look forward to for hours.

When you get lunch wrong, it’s devastating.

But, as a girl, while I would love to eat something deep fried in cheese and chocolate (or about eight burritos), these habits often lead to #foodguilt.

So, invariably, I go for salad.

And it nearly always sucks.

Here are things that are literally the worst about eating salad for lunch.

There’s always a long line.

I’ve put significant thought into this. A lot of people I see in this country are fat, and surely you get fat by eating lots of junk food. And yet, bizarrely, Chopt on Madison and 23rd has a line that snakes out the door, while Baked by Melissa is empty.

When you have limited amount of time, spending it waiting for the idiot in front to pick from Spa Caesar or Tex-Mex Ranch is too painful for words.


Life’s too short.

Having just started work, I’m becoming painfully aware of how much of life is spent in an office. Life can be reductive and repetitive as it is. Why make it worse with an unexciting meal every day?

This is the land of the cronut, of bagels and truffle fries. We’re the YOLO generation! Shouldn’t we start treating lunchtime as our own personal “Man Versus Food”?


It’s more expensive than other lunch foods.

I saw a sign the other day, advertising that $2 could get you two slices of pizza and a soda. I was in shock, and there must be a catch because my two daily coffees each cost nearly double that.

I also had a $7 yogurt this morning, so I’m confused. But, $2 pizza and soda would make me happy, whereas my $18 salad makes my taste buds and bank balance a little sad.


It’s not filling.

Yes, before you ask, I eat all of it. The idea of leaving food on my plate makes me feel more nauseated than any amount of eating could. So after finishing every last shred of spinach, I initially feel so full, it’s actually gross.

Bloated and uncomfortable and kind of sloshy. Three and half minutes later, I’m literally stomach-growling starving and eating random cereal bars back in the office. I really don’t know how or why this happens, but it totally sucks.


You overcompensate with other foods.

This follows on from the point above. After feeling virtuous with a salad for lunch, I feel smug and entitled to make bad food choices the rest of the day.

Like, the (teeny) mathematical side of my brain knows that salad for lunch and fries for a snack and pasta for dinner makes no sense at all. But the side that wins out is the one saying, “but I had SALAD for lunch!”


Although, salad isn’t always healthy.

Sure, it sounds healthy. Plus, it’s green, the color of superfoods! And kale! Did I mention there was kale? But admit it, you know when you’re having a fat salad.

We’ve all done it — ordered a salad full of blue cheese, parmesan, croutons and full-fat Ranch. There’s no calorie count on it, so you can trick yourself. But be real. You know the girl two seats away who always eats mozzarella paninis and dessert, and you wonder how? Yeah, she’s consuming way less saturated fat and far fewer calories than you.


It is so boring.

It just is. Even eating it is boring and gets so repetitive. The other week, I went for lunch with my mother and she was sooo excited for this one particular salad (it did have avocado and halloumi, but still…) and it made me hate her because really, who cares about salad? There’s a limited repertoire of salad toppings.

You always think a fun addition like whole-wheat croutons will be more exciting than it actually is. Same goes for when Chopt does its seasonal variations – they sound cool, but are invariably a total letdown. In fact, it was always going to be a letdown when its artisanal offering is charred broccoli.

On that note, I’m off to pick up a salad.

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Charlotte Phillips

Charlotte Phillips is a Lifestyle writer at Elite Daily, the leading site speaking to millennials across the globe. She joined Elite Daily in June 2014, fresh out of Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism. At Elite Daily, Charlotte focuses on New York-centric themes including dating, food, young start-ups and celebrities. She is also interested in exploring luxury brands, travel and any pop culture phenomenons. Charlotte also writes social commentary comparisons between New York, her adopted home, and London, where she was born and raised. She moved to New York after completing her undergraduate degree at Bristol University in the UK, where she majored in History. She currently lives in Manhattan and enjoys frozen yogurt, brunch, Central Park and getting lost everywhere. Follow her @charphillips9

More In Life

Life Gigi Engle

The 10 Most Offensive Fashion Items Ever Made

As a designer, the fashion world isn’t the easiest place to make your mark. Designs can be pretty hit or miss. Something that seemed like a really great idea can turn out to be either a complete nightmare or a total glory when actually produced as a wearable item. It’s all about execution. Speaking of […]

Life Paul Hudson

Why Being Happy Doesn’t Mean Being Perfect

Happiness… probably the greatest scam ever sold to the general public. We are taught growing up that happiness is the goal of life. We are taught that happiness is the solution to all problems and that each and every person can find it for him or herself. Imagine that — every person, no matter how […]

Life Dan Scotti

Costco Kid: 18 Signs You Were Raised By Costco

Welcome to Costco Wholesale, the Club Med of responsible home-owning. All right, let’s keep it a buck with each other here, that place raised us. And with good reason. It truly is a magical place. Costco is where you can buy pretty much any amenity your house could possibly need – in massive quantities, all […]

Life Eddy Baller

Talk Is Cheap: How Your Body Language Is Worth A Thousand Words

With my head cocked slightly to the side exposing my neck, eyes connected to her eyes and hands making open inviting gestures, I could see she was starting to warm up. Initially, there was a strange expression on her face when I said hello on the street. I was just another stranger, potentially intimidating. I […]

Motivation Zack Arenson

9 Flat-Out Lies We Are Told To Be True Our Entire Lives

We’ve all grown up on little white lies that were designed to make us feel better, and make us feel like everything in the world is in our favor. Unfortunately, nobody ever told us that these lies were, well, just lies. We adapted them into truths that are universally accepted. Don’t shoot the messenger, but […]

Also On Elite

Politics

Rhode Island Governor Candidate Smokes Marijuana During Her Campaign Ad

Anne Armstrong is a write-in candidate for Rhode Island’s gubernatorial race. A marijuana dispenser and patient herself, Armstrong’s primary objective is revealed in this recent campaign ad. She has dedicated her entire platform to debunking the stigmas attached to marijuana and making it available for all. She says in her video, We’ve been lied to […]

Ladies

Real Men Vs. New York Men: 13 Reasons New York Women Can’t Find Love

To say the men of New York are “of a different breed” is like when Lindsay Lohan said she “only did drugs four or five times.” It’s what PR specialists call “putting it gently.” Because any woman who has lived, is living or is thinking about leaving New York knows, there is no breed to […]

Sex

Mixxxer Is The Tinder For People Who Just Want To Have Sex ASAP

Since its inception, dating app Tinder gained a reputation for being about casual sex rather than real relationships. However, there’s a new app just for hooking up that those seeking casual sex can use instead. You can avoid any confusion and get straight to the point. The app, Mixxxer, makes it clear it is not a […]

Humor

Husband’s Note To His Wife Seems Awful Until You Read Part 2 (Photos)

By the time you’ve married your best friend, you’d better hope you share the same sense of humor. Redditor ProudlyHumble posted an image of a note his newlywed friend left for his wife. At first glance, the letter is heartbreaking. In the note, Max bids goodbye to his new wife. Her cooking tastes awful and he […]

Women

#NoNewFriends: 15 Reasons Why I Firmly Believe In Hate At First Sight

“I hate everybody,” I exclaimed to no one in particular. Oh, it must be another day in the life of an impatient person. A day during which every single thing, whether rational or not, is pissing you, along with myself, the F off. I. hate. everyone. — Ashley Fern (@disco_infern0) October 8, 2014 Sure, you […]