No More Salad: 17 Times Being A Vegetarian Absolutely Ruins Your Life
Being a vegetarian most definitely has its perks, but as great as it can be, it can also be really f*cking annoying.
For some reason, people think they’ve earned a say in your dietary preferences, so they feel no need to hold back their opinions.
Do they think you haven’t heard all this sh*t before? Do they really think they’re enlightening you in any way? And why do we, as vegetarians, feel like we have to sit there, be quiet and take these comments?
There are certain situations in which these people are probably right — being a vegetarian is a hassle. But hey, at the end of the day, it’s your decision, and you’re the only one who’s got to deal with it.
So what are all the ways being a veg-head has basically ruined your life? Well, they may look a little something like this…
1. Ever join a share house that evenly divides food?
This is a huge struggle because you don’t want to be that person who complains about the price.
But when you really think about it, you’re going to have to bring your own food supplies anyway. So it’s really just another cost on top of what you’re already paying. Why not ask for an exception?
2. The awkward moment when your significant other brings you home for family dinner.
You can put the blame on him when it comes to this because he should’ve warned them! Your first impression most likely won’t be a good one when you refuse to eat any of the food his mother slaved over for hours to impress you.
3. No one ever wants to go out to dinner one-on-one with you.
What’s the fun in going to dinner if you can’t even share anything? Making plans with a vegetarian is a struggle in and of itself.
And it’s never really easy even if they claim they’re not picky — whether or not we care to admit it, we are.
4. Sharing appetizers is probably one of the more difficult things in your life.
No calamari, no prosciutto and absolutely nothing cooked with bacon…
So more than half the time, you’re pushing for a caprese salad. I’m sure the rest of your dining party is thrilled.
5. You often sound pretentious even when you’re not trying to be.
I’m not trying to be difficult, I just have dietary restrictions!
How is any server going to know what you can eat unless you explain it?
6. Men never really understand you.
Whenever the fact that you’re a vegetarian comes up, men find the need to ask you a thousand questions. And it doesn’t matter how well you explain yourself because the questions never stop.
7. Your eating habits often make people feel terrible about themselves.
Just because you don’t indulge in cheeseburgers doesn’t mean you don’t have unhealthy eating habits of your own. In fact, your favorite food is candy.
8. The hesitation you experience when people kindly offer a piece of their meat dish…
The best part about this situation is these people know you don’t eat meat… so why are they even offering it to you in the first place?
You feel like a dick because, once again, you have to explain you don’t eat that particular food.
9. You have to explain over and over what being vegetarian entails to the point that you want to just shut up and eat a piece of bacon.
The ignorance of people you encounter on a daily basis is enough to make your head explode. What’s so difficult about the concept of choosing not to eat meat?!
10. You sound like a contradictory assh*le when you claim you “don’t really care about the animals.”
Just because I have leather boots on my feet doesn’t mean I want cow in my mouth. There are people who are vegetarians just because the idea of eating a living creature freaks them out.
11. You’re just so sick of salad.
You find yourself resorting to salad for almost every meal, which is enough to drive any sane person crazy.
Eating too much of the same thing is enough to aggravate anyone, but when your options are already limited, it’s pretty damn difficult.
12. Prix fixe menus are never viable options for you.
There are never vegetarian options for each part of the menu. For some reason, chefs forget there are people out there who don’t constantly crave steak and salmon.
13. Asking about soup ingredients is never an easy conversation.
“So, is this vegetable broth or chicken stock?”
Uhh… do you even think the person behind the counter is going to know the answer to this? There’s probably a 50/50 chance they’re making up an answer just to please you.
14. People think you’re disgusting when you create a makeshift “burger” at BBQs.
You don’t want to put a veggie burger on the grill right after a hamburger has been on it, so you get creative and make your own sandwich. And by sandwich… you mean lettuce, cheese and tomatoes on bread.
15. People offer you money to eat meat all the time and never believe you when you reject them.
If I had a dollar for every time someone offered me hundreds of dollars to eat bacon, I’d be rich and still wouldn’t have to eat the damn bacon.
16. You’ll always be the pickiest eater out of all your friends.
Regardless of the fact that you always find something to eat at a restaurant, your friends will still consider you the pickiest eater of the group.
17. You always have to check out a restaurant’s menu before you go.
If you didn’t investigate a food establishment beforehand, you’d be staring at the menu for over 20 minutes. Thank God for PDF menus online!
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