Leaving your bed is never an easy task because no matter how much sleep you get, it’s typically never enough. It’s a warm and comfortable place and one where you can truly be yourself.
You can lie in all your self-pity, hungoverness and Seamless crumbs and not have to explain a damn thing to anyone!
New record exiting from bed : 6 pm
— Ashley Fern (@disco_infern0) October 26, 2014
It’s glorious, which is why we absolutely hate the moment we’re forced to depart from it, and so the separation anxiety begins.
We miss it during the day on our morning commute, we miss it when the day starts dragging at 2 pm and we most especially miss it as we dredge along the treadmill watching the seconds go by.
So why is the connection to your bed usually the strongest connection of your life? Well, it’s probably for these reasons:
1. Your bed doesn’t speak at or to you
2. It never cancels plans
3. Your bed never wants to go out
4. You always know you will have a fun night with it
5. Because sleeping with your bed will never get complicated
6. It’s seen you in your most vulnerable of moments
7. It doesn’t care if you get crumbs all over it
8. Your bed encourages you to stay in
9. You can dress up or down for it, and it will appreciate you nonetheless
10. It’s seen you naked and still loves you
11. It won’t judge you when you don’t leave it for hours
12. Your bed doesn’t laugh at you when you’re dying of a hangover for a solid six hours
13. It also doesn’t lecture you while you crawl from the bed to the toilet to throw up
14. It doesn’t mind when you bring strangers into it
15. It’s always there and ready when you come home
16. It never makes you feel guilty about your life choices…
17. …In fact, it encourages every single one of them
18. It accepts you just the way you are
19. It doesn’t get offended when you switch sides
20. It doesn’t care how much time you spend on your phone
21. It encourages you to never leave
22. You actually question if your bed is your soul mate…
23. Actually, you firmly believe it is
24. It has an indent of your body waiting to cuddle you back in
25. People can’t bother you when you’re safely tucked away in your bed
26. Where else would you have a Netflix marathon?
27. Or a Seamless marathon?
28. Or a sleeping marathon?
29. What about a sex marathon?
30. See, all of the best things happen in your bed
31. Your bed doesn’t care if you’ve washed your hair in the past 24 hours
32. Or if you’ve showered…
33. It prefers you to wear less makeup so you don’t ruin its sheets
34. It isn’t offended when you come home super late at night
35. You never have to worry about someone else encroaching on your humble abode
36. It’s always willing to cuddle
37. You will never hug a person as tightly and forcibly as your pillows and blankets
38. Your bed will never make you third wheel it on any occasion… unless it’s of your choosing
39. It’s welcoming of anyone you bring to meet it
40. It’s always there for you at the end of a really sh*tty day
Top Photo Courtesy: Gypsy Warrior
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