Why Deleting My Facebook Was The Best Thing That's Ever Happened To Me
I sat there blankly staring, with my eyes red, swollen and wet from the tears that fell freely and uncontrollably.
My Facebook page was littered with five years of reminders, pictures and status updates of a life that no longer existed; my relationship status changed from “in a relationship” to “single.” The time had come to delete my “in a relationship” past and move forward into my “single” future.
While I sat there, trying to absorb everything, I could feel the sting of my old life harshly staring back at me as if it was salt pouring into my broken heart. I thought about all the comments, judgment and gossip that would come from updating my relationship status, and it all became too overwhelming to bear.
A million questions started flooding through my mind: Why do I need to tell my 700 so-called Facebook friends that my relationship is over? What makes them entitled to know about it? It is because I have already shared so much of my life with them? Is it because they've shared their life updates with me?
I knew that it would be impossible to fully answer those questions but that was the reality in which I was living. Social media ruled, Facebook mattered, and I believed it to be protocol to mass-communicate my life's milestones for the world to see — and cast their comments. I realized, in that moment, that the ritual of updating a Facebook relationship status was more harmful than helpful, so I decided to do the unexpected.
In just a few short clicks, I deactivated my Facebook account. It was official: Facebook and I broke up.
Facebook and I have been broken up for a year, and I am proud to say I have never looked back. While my initial reasons for the breakup were more in regard to self-preservation and privacy, the reason for never rekindling our relationship is simply that my life is better without Facebook.
I value my relationships more.
Most people use Facebook as a means to stay up-to-date with what their millions of “friends” are doing. Did I really care what all my Facebook friends were doing? At one time I thought I did, but in reality, looking at their updates was just a way to pass the time. I no longer dedicate time to scrolling through my feed; instead, I spend time proactively nurturing and caring for my relationships through more personal ways of communication.
Without Facebook, I came to realize which relationships I value and which relationships added value to my life.
I have genuine conversations with friends.
My conversations are more genuine because I haven't used Facebook as a source of information. Now, my sources of information are my actual friends. My questions, opinions, reactions and advice are present and authentic, rather than predetermined or fake because Facebook already spoiled the news. The fun of catching up with friends is back and the excitement of hearing life updates is restored.
I live my life for me because it is as fabulous as everyone else's.
This is simple. By not being on Facebook, I have taken away any opportunity to share my life with other's while feeling inadequate about what I'm doing and experiencing at any given time. My self-worth is not based on anyone else's life but my own. I know I cannot compare myself to others because my life is unique to me and no one else.
My heart healed because what was ahead of me was brighter than what I left behind.
There were no opportunities to “accidentally” revisit the past. There was no way for his life to creep back into mine and open up old wounds. He was actually out-of-sight and out-of-mind.
I was able to slowly heal and move forward. I was rediscovering myself and started to recognize what was important to my future and me. I realized that my future was bigger, brighter, fuller, happier and more satisfying than what I left in the past.
That past not only included an ex-boyfriend, but also Facebook, and for that lesson alone, I am forever grateful.
Because I am happy with my current life, I don't plan to ever reactivate my Facebook account. I love living a Facebook-free life and you might, too. Think about it.
Photo via We Heart It
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