Lifestyle

Why Women Aren’t Really Women Anymore

by Paul Hudson
Stocksy

They call themselves women. But let’s be honest — women are no longer really women. I don’t mean that they are lacking cooking, cleaning and nurturing skills, although they should know how to do all those things, just as men should. I’m not talking about the fact that women are now holding down positions that were once out of their reach and reserved solely for their male counterparts.

I believe that women should hold positions of power and authority; women are powerful beings. However, women today no longer look like women. They no longer talk like women. They no longer act like women. Women, once upon a time, had self-respect. Sure, there are many out there today that hold themselves to their own set of standards and I respect them for that.

Unfortunately, the majority of women that I have encountered in my life — especially as of late — don’t respect themselves. They don’t respect their bodies or their minds and somehow still feel it acceptable to demand respect from others. This, of course goes for some men as well, but it’s more frightening to see the trends that we are seeing today in women because — let’s be honest — women are more important.

Kill every man in the world, but one, and the human race survives — hell, kill them all and I am sure there’s some frozen sperm out there somewhere that will keep the human race going. Kill every woman, but one, and the chances of the human race surviving are slim to none. But that’s not what’s really important. What’s important is that women are human beings and should be treated with respect. Yet today we see women disrespected regularly — much of the time it is the man that is being the pig, but not always.

There are many instances in which we can see the woman not only allowing, but looking to be disrespected or violated. This may sound absurd, but I believe it to be true. There are women out there that are lacking so much respect for themselves that they go out of their way to seek out men that will disrespect them and treat them like sh*t or situations in which they will either embarrass themselves or put themselves in the center of a disgusting mess. I say this because I know — or, rather, once knew — such a person.

Growing up, I had a taste for damaged goods. I don’t know what it is about women that you know had a tough childhood growing up, that had neglecting parents or went through stressful or frightening experiences, but they always intrigued me. This is not to say that they were f*cked up in the head (if anything, I probably was); they were girls that matured at a younger age because their life demanded them do so. They were girls that grew thick skin and weren’t keen on letting others — especially men — into their lives. It most likely had to do with the great challenge that they presented. Not only were they reluctant to open themselves up to others, they were reluctant in allowing themselves to love.

I met one girl a while back that proved to be a particularly intriguing individual. She didn’t have a very pleasant childhood — parents were divorced, her mother raised her on her own and didn’t always have an easy time paying the bills. Her mother was overbearing and their relationship wasn’t usually stable. The girl, who is now well into the age of womanhood, was a lover at heart — I could see it.

But her heart had been broken almost regularly. She was a beautiful girl and never had difficulties finding a man; the problem was that while she gave herself up to them and fell in love with them, they would make sure to let her down and crush her spirits. She was a very emotional girl, so such instances would affect her profoundly. When we had first gotten together and I had the pleasure of getting to know her, I learned a lot about her. I learned about her life — her history. I learned a lot about her as a woman.

We had a pretty open relationship at the start; I’m not one to request exclusivity when things first get going. I’ll spare you all the details of what exactly it is that I learned about her — if at the very least not to make her feel violated in case she is reading this — but let us just say that she had a tendency of putting herself in situations where she would be emotionally abused.

All the bad relationships that she had with her family, with boys and with friends throughout her life had convinced her that she had to be the one at fault. Life had convinced her that something had to be wrong with her. If all those you grew up with, all those you ever cared about, had let you down at one time or another or had broken your trust, it’s not surprising how you could think that you were the one that was screwed up. She was a very sexual person and liked to experiment — she was not shy to say the least and had her share of partners.

It almost always comes down to sex, doesn’t it? We believe sex to be a release — a release of stress, of tension, a release of everything that is weighing down on our minds or our souls. I’m all for going out there, meeting and getting to know people intimately. If you’re single, don’t have commitments to others and go into such relationships honestly, then it’s all harmless fun. However, it’s the reasons why you choose to have sex regularly with different partners and the energy or mentality while in the throes of it all, that matters most.

Many men and women have regular casual sex with ever-changing partners and do so while having respect for themselves and for those they are engaged with. My old friend, however, would be having sex with individuals she barely knew and then would feel disgusted by it. She would feel dirty, she would feel violated and she would sicken herself. But she would do it anyway, again and again. I feel that a large percentage of women behave in a similar fashion. This sort of punishment is not exclusive to sex — but sex does tend to leave the harshest and deepest cuts.

There’s such an enormous amount of pressure on us coming from outside forces that there is no shortage of reasons why people break or lose control. Some resort to drugs. Some to sex. Some to self-mutilation — there is a long list of dysfunctional behaviors that result from a form of self-hatred.

Women have it especially difficult because no matter what people may say or believe, the fact remains that women continue to be treated differently in this world; they are not allowed all the same opportunities and are often looked upon as objects and/or possessions. They are disrespected, belittled, shamed publicly and trained to believe that this sort of treatment, this sort of life that they are exposed to, is acceptable. If you tell a person they are a piece of sh*t for long enough, they’ll start to believe it themselves.

Women aren’t women anymore. They were robbed of that right by the constructs of society over thousands of years. Many will argue that things have gotten much better for women, that they are being treated more fairly and equally. In some aspects, sure. However, if you look at the level of self-respect that many, if not most, women have for themselves, you will notice a decrease over the years.

Once upon a time, women had no choice but to do as they were told. Once upon a time, they were not allowed to be their own people, to have and to share their thoughts, to have their opinions known, to make a difference in the world. Now they do. Yet, this illusion of equality that they are fed to believe as a reality whispers to them that they are equals, that they are just as important as the male population, while holding onto their ankles, making sure they don’t drift up too close to the surface.

There are those women that are able to stay strong and resist the profound influence that is our American culture — but they shouldn’t have to struggle more than any man. I have heard men complain about the women of our generation. Honestly — they have a point…but they are more than likely part of the problem to begin with.

To see why men aren't really men anymore, click here. 

Photo courtesy Tumblr