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What To Do When You're Young, Married And Have Kids — And Your Friends Are Still Single

The Peter Pan Generation has a strong three-way divide. There are those who refuse to follow society's rules and purposely rebel against them, choosing to instead play by their own rules and do things on their own time.

Then, there are those who would love to do things within the time frame of preceding generations, but it just doesn't seem to be in the cards for them.

Then, there are those who have already “grown up.” They have embraced adulthood and completed the picture with marriage, babies and a career. However, said group is, by and far, the smallest percentage of the demographic and often feels just as lost as everyone else.

It's important to remember that there are plenty of people who are single and not lonely at all, and there are also plenty of people who are married and feel completely alone.

I pride myself as being somewhat of an ambassador for the rebels of my generation. Strong in my convictions, — highly anti-marriage, relationships and all of the other socially-constructed norms society has set — I am a true-blue Millennial.

I have dubbed myself “Peter Pandrew,” which you can read all about in my memoirs, “The Pandrew Trilogy.

My choice has, thus far, led to a lonely life. I've watched people with whom I've formed close relationships leave Neverland, so to speak, and pair off, get married and have children. Unsurprisingly, these people don't have much time left for their best friend.

As I constantly try and find new lost boys and lost girls, those who leave me behind to start their grown-up lives embrace adulthood with vigor at first. However, many find that they are often just as lonely as I am. In today's world, it's hard to grow up and be an adult when everyone around you is still ready to a party.

Many of my female friends, who are married with children, are not like other girls — and they never were. These girls still have fiery spirits within.

They love their children, and they are wonderful mothers, but they don't feel old. They don't feel ready to be adults and they may never; parts of them still want to fly back to Neverland and join me again.

I'm sure plenty of other married people out there feel the same way. They look around and wonder how they became their parents while their friends are still acting like they did in high school. Part of them feels resentment, and part of them just wants to go back and party with those childish friends.

It's the ultimate Catch-22. Can the three worlds coexist between those who love their youth and want to cling to it, those who have been thrust into adulthood and those who are desperately trying to get there? As Peter Pandrew, the ambassador of this generation, I can tell you that some of my truest friends have had to grow up. So, I'm pitching a new idea: I'm creating a world where we can coexist.

My writing is dedicated to trying to be the voice of Millennials, and right now, there is a subset of my generation constantly excluded.

My new site, www.wendyandpandrew.weebly.com, provides a forum to the lost boys and girls, who are married with children and have supposedly found their way. However, these people haven't quite figured out how to have their cake and eat it, too.

They still want to party with their single friends, but how can they when they are constantly covered in baby vomit? How do they get their bodies back after their second baby? Should they feel guilty for wanting to leave their kids alone and go on vacation with their friends?

I invite these moms and dads back to Neverland to a forum, where everyone can be themselves without judgment.

It's a place where we can share tips on places to go and things to do with the kids and with our friends, who haven't quite settled down yet. We'll discuss party ideas to attract not only your child's friends, but your friends, as well.

Can we coexist? Maybe we can. Maybe we need to all realize that no one really has it all figured out, and we're all just as lost as the next person.

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It

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Andrew Cristi

Contributor

Andrew Cristi is the author of the top-selling e-book series, "The Peter Pandrew Trilogy," his memoirs dealing with all different topics ranging from Bipolar and Borderline Personality disorder to sexuality to general coming of age. He is also ...
Andrew Cristi is the author of the top-selling e-book series, "The Peter Pandrew Trilogy," his memoirs dealing with all different topics ranging from Bipolar and Borderline Personality disorder to sexuality to general coming of age. He is also ...

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